Love Through Your Lens (Completed)

Chapter Eleven: Second Date, Part Two

After a few dazzling magician tricks while waiting for our drinks, we made our way back to a secluded booth, covered by a beaded curtain.

Chris pulled the beads aside with one hand and ushered me in. I took a seat across from him in the quaint booth, my fingers trailing across the condensation of my glass. My eyes lingered across the table to his chest. With the top button undone, a sliver of his chest peeked through.

I closed my eyes, fighting to steady myself. I couldn't let myself get further and further into attraction without him.

"So what do you think?" His voice broke me out of my dilemma.

I opened my eyes and peered around the dimly lit spy-themed bar.

"It's...unlike anything I've ever experienced before," I admitted in amazement, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear. "I can't say I've ever had tango to get into a bar before."

I was grateful for the skewed lighting to hide my flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, that's a new one for me too." Chris rubbed the back of his neck with a laugh. "I'm not much of a dancer."

I didn't really care if it was a good dance or not.

I tried my best to swallow a sip of my drink calmly, suppressing the bubble of excitement rising within me from remembering the sexual tension and chemistry in that moment. "I'm not either - but I think we pulled off the "intense desire part"." I winked at him exaggeratedly in an effort to mask my desire with jest.

"Hmm..." He pondered my words and took a sip of his drink in thought.

A few more painfully slow moments crept by before I decided to press on.

"So...correct me if I'm wrong. But I suppose I'm a little confused about your angle here."

That got his attention. He cocked an eyebrow at me. "My angle?"

I felt my foot tap nervously under the table. I was scared to find out, but the anticipation was driving me wild.

What was this? And where was it going to go?

I had waited too long between then and now to find out.

"Yeah." I took a deep breath, terrified to share the true extent of my skepticism.

But I knew it had to happen. I couldn't fall any harder, any more.

"We go five years in this city without any sort of communication." I paused, looking down into my glass. "And suddenly you want me for a still unknown photo reenactment... Not to mention, you agree to my highly unconventional dare to date, despite saying it's something you "don't do"."

My eyes flickered up to meet his studying me intently. He had a damn good poker face.

"And take the effort to show me a rather personal surprise photo from back when we met. With the icing on the cake? All these little teases and touches."

I felt my heartbeat resounding off my ribcage and my breathing struggle to remain even. It was like an emotional dam within me had burst.

"I just can't be the only one feeling this." I averted my eyes and set my chin in my hands, feeling tears forming as I fought to keep them in.

What was I doing?

Cora was right - he could only hurt me. And what happened back then... I didn't really "know" who he was to begin with.

What I knew was a romanticized fantasy that I had reconstructed in reminiscence.

"Alexis." His voice was soft and pleading, but I refused to look up. "You're right - I owe you an explanation. Because this isn't some kind of "angle"..."

I remained still and fought the urge to react when I felt his hand on my knee under the table. He rubbed slow, soothing circles in my skin with his thumb.

"This is me doing a shitty job of trying to get over my reservations... and fear of falling for you."

I peeked up at him, certain my eyes were still glassy.

"You're afraid of falling for me?" My voice felt meek and foreign, like it wasn't my own. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

He stopped drawing the circles on my skin and withdrew his hand, then he took a hefty swig of his drink to prepare himself.

"I am. When we met, it had been almost two years after my relationship ended with Lisette."

Oh, God - Lisette Harris?

I didn't follow the tabloids much at that point five years ago. I knew she had some vague struggles - mostly with drugs and alcohol - but it barely made a dent in her fame.

"Her and I dated for a year when I was first starting out here. She kept pushing and pushing for me to be in the public eye with her, and I kept resisting. It was..."

He paused and I found him staring into his drink, as if searching for the words. "A tumultuous and manipulative relationship. Eventually, I drew the line when I found her using drugs and lying to me about who she was with. She threatened to blame her addiction and rehab problems on me. But I suggested a legal fight and she backed off."

I absorbed every word he said, unable to move or speak.

"I told myself I wasn't going to fall for that kind of girl anymore." He stopped and rubbed his chin, struggling to hide behind his poker face for much longer. "I was so surprised when I met you - but also afraid of who you could become. But I see now, I didn't give you enough credit."

His eyes met mine with regret and guilt.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, his voice low and soft. "I've wanted to apologize so many times... And I'm ashamed it took me this long."

"I'm sorry."

That was what I really wanted to hear all these years, right?

That was what I thought.

And hearing it now, I didn't feel relief. I felt longing. I felt sadness for the pain I tried to inflict on him. I still felt hot coals of desire for him in my chest.

I gently reached across the table for his hands that were encircling his glass and covered them with mine.

"I forgive you," I felt my shaky voice breathe out. I looked around self-consciously as we sensed the music start to get louder. Soon this intimate booth off to the corner of the dance floor was about to get much less secluded.

He cleared his throat, gesturing to the dance floor in front of us. "Well, we are here to have fun - so what do you say to another drink and a non-tango dance?" He joked at me with that sly gleam back in his eyes.

Part of me wanted to continue to dig deeper into this new revelation. But I knew a crowded bar wasn't the place or the time.

I smiled and shrugged.

"I guess we have to start letting you make up for it somehow..."