Guardian Angel

Chapter 11

I woke up slowly in a room I did not recognise next to the warm body of a snoring man. Gasping I rolled onto my side and saw Dean laying there, his calloused hand tightly clutching mine. I pulled my hand out of his but he jumped awake, his eyes instantly alert. He relaxed a degree when he saw it is just me and crookedly smiled at me,

"How are you feeling Lara?" Shaking my head, I backed away from him and crawled off the bed so I'm sat on the floor away from him; this should not be happening. I should be dead, that was the whole point so I could protect my family.

"How...what...why?" I ask but not sure how to phrase my question so I go for the blunt approach, "Why am I still alive?" He cringed slightly and I saw grief in his eyes,

"We nearly lost you last night, if Sammy hadn't found your note, we would be planning a hunters funeral for you today." He remarked as anger started to fill his eyes as he sat up on the bed, "Why did you do it Lara?"

"I did it to protect you guys you fucking arsehole." I said as I grabbed a pillow from the bed and hugged it to me. "You said on the phone I was too dangerous to have around." I yelled at him as he came of the bed. As he approached me, I held up a hand and back away, scooting on my backside.

"I never said that..." he started before he sank onto the floor so he could look me in the eyes, "I said about sending Cadi away as it was too dangerous for her to be here this close to term; and I was going to ask Lacey to go with her and take Deana."

"But I heard you on the phone...and you were right it is too dangerous for me to be around you guys." I ran my hand through my hair and noticed that my wrists have no evidence of the cuts I placed there. "Fuck, you got Cas to heal me? How I put the angel sigils in my room so he couldn't come in." Dean looked pointedly around the room,

"I shot the lock off the door and carried out into the hallway so Cas could heal you." He lightly touched my wrist but pulled away when I hissed at him,

"Why couldn't you just let me die you fucking moron." I say as I gasped through sobs, "It would've been easier for all of us." Grabbing my arm tightly he pulled me towards him as his green eyes spat fire,

"Yes, we got Cas to heal you, but he didn't have enough Angel juice to heal you fully so Sammy and I had to open a vein to give you a transfusion to save your life." Sighing he hung his head so he wasn't looking at me, but his hand still held me firmly in place, "You are family kid; why wouldn't we try to save you. Blood is blood Lara." He looked up at me and I could see tears shining in his eyes. But I'm too mad to show any sympathy. Instead I looked into his green eyes with my own and said the three words that I would probably regret for the rest of my life through gritted teeth,

"I hate you." Letting go of my arm I could see the shock in his eyes; so, I dug the knife in deeper. "I wish I never met you, Sam or Cas! You've ruined my life...Lamashtu would never have found me if not for you three." Gathering as much dignity as I could I rose to my feet and walked to the bathroom unsteadily. I heard Dean throwing things around the room I was just in, cussing until the sky was blue with them. As I entered the bathroom, I locked the door as I heard Sammy behind me,

"Dude what is going on? Where is Lara?" Curling myself up into a ball I sat in the corner of the bathroom and cried until my head hurt. After a while knocking sounded on the bathroom door,

"Lara, let me in." Sammy's patient voice filtered through the wooden door,

"Leave me the fuck alone Sam." I yelled as I tried to pull myself up from the floor using the sink. As I got to my feet though my legs gave way from sitting down so long and I grabbed hold of the nearest thing I could to keep me upright. The bathroom shelf with all the toiletries and a mirror crashed to the floor causing tinkling glass to smash around my naked feet.

Suddenly the door is kicked open and I glanced up to see both Dean and Sam are stood there with worry in their eyes but I just looked at the mess around me and sank back to the floor. Gingerly Sam came and squatted next to me while Dean went to fetch a dustpan and brush to clean up the mess. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my head up so I could look in his eyes. Childishly though I diverted my eyes so even though my face was facing his direction my eyes were focussed to the right of me.

"Lara look at me." He said gently. Unwillingly I looked him with defiance and hurt in my eyes, "We need to talk about last night?" Shaking my head, I started to look away. Maybe if I went into my own little world, they would leave me alone. But Sam pinched my arm hard which caused me to look at him with tears in my eyes.

"That hurt." I said to him, "Does Lacey know you like to hurt women?" Shaking his head, he tilted it to the side slightly and looked at me while anger burned in his eyes,

"What is wrong with you? I know you are upset but you shouldn't lash out at us." His mouth was pinched white; I could tell he was trying to not lose his cool with me;

"You should have let me die...all of you. How can I protect you all when you won't let me go?" His mouth relaxed slightly and he looked at me dumbfounded,

"Who says you need to protect us Lara?" He questioned me but before he could carry on Dean came back in the room and carried on Sam's conversation with me,

"We've been hunting monsters and things that go bump in the night since we were kids; we can protect ourselves and our family. That is not for you to put all on your own shoulders." He said as he started to clean up the mess on the bathroom floor, "I used to think that all the time growing up that I would have to protect Sammy from all the bad things in life; but you know what we are both grown men who have hunted and killed more monsters that we can count." Dean emptied the glass in a cardboard box and squat next to me, "You don't have to protect us Lara; we've done a good job of it so far. But let us look after you for a change. We are set in our ways and know how to fight our own Demons but you; you need us just as much as we need you." He gathered me into a hug and held me tight, "The angels once told us our greatest weakness is our family but I believe it is also our greatest strength. We know that no matter what we can depend on each other through the good and the bad." He pulled away from me and held me at arm's length as he shook me slightly, "Let us be your strength, not just your weakness Lara." Crying I lunged myself into their arms, my brothers, my family and my strength. I liked that.

"I'm sorry for what I said" I said crying, "I didn't mean it...I was just mad at myself." Both of them rubbed my back before Dean lifted me up in his arms and carried me back to my room. I looked around and noticed there was no sign of what happened last night, just the sickly-sweet smell of bleach and incense sticks combined. Seeing my look Dean shrugged his shoulders slightly,

"Lacey and Cadi were busy last night cleaning up while we donated blood." He bought his nose close to mine, "please don't do that again; I hate needles." He placed me down on the bed while Sammy pulled the comforter up from the end of the bed to cover me. Both of the boys sat on the bed with me between them, resting their arms along my back in a brotherly hug.

"Lara, if ever you need to talk then come and speak to one of us; or if it is something you are too embarrassed to say in front of your big brothers then Lacey and Cadi are good listeners." I looked up at Sam with questions in my eyes,

"What about Cas? You said I can speak to you two or Lacey and Cadi, but you didn't mention Cas?" Sam sighed as Dean began to speak,

"I love Cas, don't get me wrong he is family...but he...well...he isn't quite a man; he has a different trail of thought to us mere humans." Dean suddenly jumped up as he heard the bunker drawer crash open,

"Shit, Sam...the alpha?" Jumping up he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up out of the bed, "Lara, go run to Lacey and Cadi."

Pushing me toward the door he and Sam ran into the main atrium of the bunker while I made my way back towards Dean and Sam's rooms where I knew the girls were. As I ran past an open doorway, someone called me which caused me to stop in my tracks and look. Lacey was there as she indicated for me to enter into the room. Walking in I realised we were in some sort of TV room. Cadi was laid on the couch panting as she curled up in pain,

"Cadi?" She looked at me with fear in her eyes before I realised, she has gone into labour. "Oh shit..."