Memories

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And on my deathbed all I'll see is you. The life my leave my lungs, but my heart will stay with you~

Bring Me The Horizon- Deathbeds

Chapter Twelve















Fallen leaves littered the ground under my feet as I explored the woods behind my house. When I was a little girl I often played here, dreaming up epic battles. That was before Tam was around and it practically became my job to take care of her.

The woods seemed so familiar now with all the lush green bushes and moss covered trees that seem to stretch upwards forever.

I imagine that people would find me strange because I liked the feeling of the trees towering over me, reminding me how small and insignificant I am in the great circle of life.

I don't know for sure when I noticed he was standing there. Maybe he was always there, maybe I just pretended not to notice. Maybe I had fooled myself into thinking that he was just a figment of my imagination. When he spoke to me I knew I'd heard his voice before I just didn't know when or where.

"Back so soon?"

"I needed to get away," I sighed and sat next to the lanky figure as he removed his fedora, "I'm so stressed."

"School?" His voice was smooth and sickly sweet, it felt like it was filtering into my blood stream.

"Among other things," I'd begun to poke at the loose dirt at my feet.

"I can take you away..." He offered, like he had so many times before. The smell of roses wafted over to me, seeming to promise an incredible future, if I'd only accept.

I shook my head ever so gently, "I don't know... I guess it's part of the human condition. We're always yearning for something more, no matter our accomplishments."

"Hm," He only made a sound but didn't comment. This reinforced my idea that I was only having an existential crisis and he was a part of some coping mechanism. He was never really there, was he?

I got to my feet, barely casting him a last glance as I walked away. Already forgetting the reason I'd left my house in the first place.

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I blinked my eyes open and a searing pain shot down the back of my neck as I tried to lift my head. A groan left my lips and I tried to move my hands but they were restrained behind me. My legs were useless too as they were also bound together. There was duct tape over my mouth, making sure the sounds I could make were minimal.

CJ did this to me?

What the hell?

The dark room suddenly flooded with light and I looked around. I was in a sparsely decorated guest bedroom, laying down on my stomach on the full size bed. There wasn't much I could do since my hands and feet were secured with duct tape and I was lying on my stomach on the hard mattress.

The bed and a small bookcase were the only furniture in the room along with a stiff back brown chair.

Turns out CJ had turned on the light in the room because the door opened and he quickly entered carrying a large knife and closing the door behind him soundlessly.

My pulse quickened. That knife looked sharp. A small part of me couldn't help but get excited. It wasn't my fault. Sharp objects just reminded me of the times when Offenderman and I would hunt. Or even Tam and I. CJ holding a knife was hardly comparable but it got my pulse pumping none the less.

Due to his nature Offenderman was drawn to women and they were in turn drawn to him, which means they were his primary victims. Watching him was incredible, and sometimes I would get so riled up during his kills that I would beg him to take me right there. He never refused. For him, it was unnatural to kill and not satisfy his sexual urges at once but I've seen him do it.

I made some muffled sounds against the duct tape, urging CJ to untie me. I'd been around killers for years and it was easy to see that CJ wasn't one. He was probably just confused. He would never kill me. He looked threatening enough but those weren't the eyes of a killer. I would know.

For some reason my mind kept drifting back to Offenderman. There was absolutely no way he didn't know where I was, so why hadn't he arrived yet to get me out of here? Not that I needed saving or anything, I wasn't some Damsel in Distress.

Well come to think of it, this was a rather distressing situation and I wouldn't mind getting out of here. Even if he had to kill CJ in the process.

What - no! I was falling back into the old mindset again. I can't hurt CJ! He has a kid, he has a life, and he never told me to try and find him in the first place.

"I called the police."

I forced myself to look at CJ as he sat down on the chair talking in a low voice as he held the knife firmly. I also noticed that he kept his eyes to the floor as if I was some vile creature that he didn't want to look at.

"You're lucky I don't like the idea of guns but don't think I won't use this if you try anything stupid," he continued as he brandished the blade.

"I never thought you'd be this stupid but I'm glad you were because now all the people you killed can finally get justice!"

So that's what this was about? I rolled my eyes internally. I should have known. It wasn't surprising at all. I was a wanted person and of course CJ would know that. I'd never given it any thought over the years because I always felt invincible, having everyone behind me, having the entire Slender family to protect me. I didn't care about the consequences, in fact I didn't have a care in the world.

Now I'd thrown it all away to come and meet CJ, all because of some old memories that made no difference in the long run. It was obvious that Offenderman no longer cared what happened to me, he would have been here by now if he did. I had to find some way to get out of this myself.

I was reminded of that time so many years ago when I ran away from him. I felt so much hatred inside but now I felt only a deep longing. I was irrevocably lost without him. He had finally broken me.

Well all that didn't make any difference now because he wasn't coming to save me. I'd be spending the rest of my life in prison for all the shit that I've done.

That wasn't even fair at all.

Offenderman did this to me. He took me away from the regular life I had and now I've lost everything. I had to find a way to get CJ to let me go.

As much as I tried to squeeze out a tear one wouldn't come.

As CJ sat on the chair I could see the hurt in his eyes. It was like he didn't even know who I was.

"Did you come here to kill me?" He questioned to which I violently shook my head no, although right now with the way things turned out that didn't seem like a bad idea.

He relaxed into the chair with a sigh before sitting up abruptly and leaning forward with the knife loosely dangling between his fingertips, "I'm going to uncover your mouth and when I do I don't want even a peep from you, got it?"

I nodded at that.

"I'm going to ask you some questions and you better answer truthfully."

I nodded again. Anything to get me out of here before the cops show up.

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Double Update coming soon~

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