Twice Isn't Enough

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a/n: I know after our lil fight we all want some fluff! But oops no this is not a fluffy chapter by any means, sorry friends. Also, just wanted to mention that words like "wait" and "ow" are ignored during this fic because they have a safe word. In real life encounters, those words should be taken seriously. I want to make sure any young people reading understand things like this! 

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You held your breath and smoothed your hands over the black dress Ivy had let you borrow. You were probably a little overdressed for just spending the night in his apartment, but after the thanksgiving phone call, you felt the need to overcompensate. You were even wearing the black lingerie set, though he hadn't asked you to. You figured it would be a nice surprise. 


You heard footsteps from behind the door, and then the click of the lock. Kylo looked nice. Black button down, no suit jacket today, and his hair neat and pushed back. The sight of his face brought you comfort, and you scolded yourself internally. No. Seeing him shouldn't bring you any emotion at all. 


You stepped inside and he shut the door behind you. 


"You want something to drink?" he asked.


"Um, do you have a bottle open?"


"Always."


You smiled, relieved to hear his casual tone. He didn't seem angry. Why did you always assume he would be angry? 


He pulled a wine bottle from the fridge and poured it into a glass. You were almost tempted to say something like, I missed you or I'm sorry I wasn't here for thanksgiving. You had to scold yourself yet again. You weren't allowed to think those things, and you certainly could not say them out loud. 


You followed him to the couch and sipped on your wine, tucking your legs beneath you. 


"Sorry about the phone-"


"We don't have to discuss that," he interrupted. 


"Oh," you stared at your glass. You had gotten so comfortable recently, but now that comfort was wavering. Were you allowed to feel comfortable? Ivy always explained the agreement as being like a fake relationship-- that meant sex, affection, and conversation, but without the real feelings. This whole time you were trying to follow that outline, but maybe you had become too relaxed about it. How were you supposed to know how to act if he wouldn't tell you?


"You look nervous."


You snapped your head up. He was gazing at you with smug curiosity. 


"No, I'm fine."


Kylo tilted his head. "Liar."


You sighed and placed your glass on the coffee table. "I don't want to act the wrong way, after what you said on the phone."

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