High Limit

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You knew his good mood wouldn't last. 


As soon as you stepped into his car you could feel it-- his coldness. It gripped onto the leather seats and sent a chill through your spine. His shoulders were tense, his jaw firm. It didn't take you by surprise though. You knew his kind warmth from a couple days ago would only mean a drop into ice water. 


You glanced over Kylo's suit of the day. This one was dark gray, with a black button up underneath and no tie, your favorite. You pulled your seatbelt across your body, glancing at him nervously, his knuckles white around the steering wheel. 


"Where are we going?" you asked.


"You'll find out when we get there," he answered gruffly. 


He kept his eyes on the road as the Porsche turned onto the highway and whipped past the surrounding cars. That was probably the most consistent thing about your relationship-- his driving terrified you. 


You tried to smile. "Your surprises have been good so far."


"Hmm."


You hated this. The distance. How he could hold you in the tub and ask about your writing, and then suddenly not bother to glance at you, not spare you a simple hello. Confronting him about it didn't seem like something you could do easily or casually. You weren't the one that got to call the shots. The only control you owned was the option of leaving him, breaking the arrangement. Even the thought of it made your stomach flip. 


"Was work bad this week?" you asked, folding your hands in your lap.


Kylo shifted his jaw and rolled his palms against the wheel. The sun was setting, brushing an orange glow over his face and lighting up his eyes, almost golden. If this were a normal relationship you'd tell him to stay put and you'd take a photo. Maybe make it your lock screen. Instead, you tried to capture the image in your mind, imprinting his shiny cheekbones and plush lips in your memory.


"No, but everything's going to turn into a shit show very soon."


"Why?"


He squinted at you. "That's really not for you to know."


You glanced out your window as if there was something outside that could console you. At this point, you expected his snappy comments, but they still sent a dull pang through your chest. You placed your hand against his arm and looked at him pointedly, though his eyes were on the road.  


"Well, whatever it is, I'm sorry that it's causing you stress."


His chest rose in a deep breath and he dropped his right hand from the steering wheel before slipping it over your thigh. You smiled with relief. Finally, a glimpse of the man from a couple days ago. Though, in the pit of your stomach loomed fear. When he showed you affection with no intention of sex, that's what scared you the most. That meant his skin was finding your skin just because it wanted to, because it missed you. It wasn't an idea you could let yourself believe. Still, your skin tingled under his palm.

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