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a/n: you thought I'd make you wait more than 24 hours for an update? me? Deli? never. wrong bitch. 

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"Is she okay?" Sophie whispered into Rey's ear, thinking you couldn't hear her. 


The answer was absolutely no, not even a little bit. 


"I'm fine, Soph," you assured her, watching her face turn pink at the realization that you had overheard. 


All four of you-- Sophie, Rey, Ivy, and yourself-- were situated on your favorite couches tucked away in the corner of Outskirt Cafe. Six days since you last saw Kylo. Six terrible, miserable, absolutely devastating days of missing him. And hating him. You found that anger was easier to feel then heartbreak, so you did your best to transfer your tears into yelling. Poor Ivy had to endure hours of you ranting, repeating all the words he had said to you and bashing every tiny annoying thing he had ever done. How he never slept. Although, sleepy Kylo was your favorite. And how he always was drinking. You couldn't exactly talk, you drank frequently too. Or how... To be honest there wasn't much you could grasp onto to hate. You couldn't even make fun of his sex skills. His dick was too big to laugh at. 


Rey glanced at Ivy and they shared a knowing look. 


"Alright, you know what, if you're all just thinking about it, we can go ahead and talk about it. Okay?" You said and sat up, opening your palms towards them, trying to say 'lay it on me'. Though, your throat was already stinging with the threat of tears. 


Sophie pushed her strawberry blonde curls out of her face and leaned forward, her dangly pearl earrings knocking against the sides of her face. You were glad she was here. She always seemed to have a warm calming presence, the kind of nurturing comfort you needed about now.


"I don't like seeing you like this," Sophie said, the only one willing to speak. "I've never seen you get so hung up on a guy before."


"That's because I'm never interested enough to get to know them, but with Kylo I had to get to know him. It was unavoidable," you said, itching your nose out of awkwardness, and leaned your head against the back of the sofa. You weren't going to cry over him today. Okay just not now. Maybe later. Definitely not in front of everyone. 


"Yeah, and he turned out to be an asshole," Rey chimed in.


You sat up and glared at her. 


"Yes, you're right. He did." You could feel tears swarming behind your eyelids and you blinked quickly, trying to shoo them away. "He's a conceited, heartless prick and I really fucking--" Your voice cracked and a tear slipped free, dripping down your cheek, a public display of your chipped heart. "--hate him."


Sophie's eyes widened and she slid away from her spot next to Rey and settled beside you. Rey followed with a guilty expression, positioning herself on the other side of you and letting you lean your head on her shoulder. You hid your hands in your face and took deep breaths. 


"Okay, okay, I'm fine," you grumbled, wiping your eyes and setting your hands in your lap. "I really don't want to cry right now, and I don't want to talk about me anymore."

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