My Paradise

Dark twist of fate

At a certain point in my life, it was made clear that I wasn't supposed to be happy for too long. Happiness was never for me, that much was clear.

A few weeks before the long awaited arrival of our baby, Wyatt and I tied the knot.

We decided we didn't want to know the gender until it was born, but we had already chosen names.

Cassia Talia King if it was a girl and Shaw Killian King if it was a boy.

The ceremony was so beautiful, with Wyatt's family and my friends there. My mom was still pissed at me, so of course as expected, she didn't come.

It broke my heart that my own mother loathed me so much that she couldn't look past my one mistake to come see me get married. But it wasn't all that bad I guess.

We had a small ceremony with just close family and friends and had a great day.

A day before the long awaited arrival, Wyatt took me to the hospital.

It was agonizingly long before I started feeling contractions. I wanted a natural birth, so I didn't let them give me any painkillers.

Probably one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. The pain was unbearable and the whole process was excruciating and really painful. It all took eight hours.

Eight whole hours of contractions, pain, screaming and pushing.

Wyatt was right there in the room, holding my hand and trying to keep me calm.

"Breath, Les. Breath, okay? Just follow me, come on, look," He breathed in and out, prompting me to copy him and I tried my best to follow his lead.

"You can do it, yeah? Just push and— Ahh!!" He yelped in pain when I squeezed his hand as hard as I could.

"Get it out, get it out, GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME!!!" I yelled in pain.

"You're doing great sweetie, just keep pushing, okay." A nurse said to me in a calm voice that just irritated the fuck out of me.

"Babe, I-I'm gonna need you to let go." Wyatt begged as he kneeled in an awkward position, trying to get his hand from my grip.

"Okay, it's almost out, sweetie. You've got past the shoulders, so I'm gonna need you to give us one last push, okay? A big push." I took in a deep breath before doing as I was told and when it was finally out of me, the nurse took the baby and cut the umbilical cord.

It was quiet for a while, the silence making me extremely anxious.

"W-what's going on?" I asked. "Why isn't my baby crying?!"

They went out with my baby and I couldn't take the suspense.

"W-where are you going?! W-Wyatt, where are they going? Where are they taking my baby?!" I asked desparately as I clutched the front of his shirt in my fist. "Wyatt, bring my baby back! Wyatt, d-don't let them take my baby!!" I yelled hysterically. "Wyatt, please, don't let them take... My baby..."

I hadn't noticed that someone had injected me with something and I ended up dozing off to a dreamless sleep.

When I woke up, all I wanted was my baby in my arms, but I knew something was wrong. I felt the tears in my eyes and whimpered as I turned to my side.

I saw Wyatt on a chair beside the bed I was on. He was singing softly while cradling something in his arms.

He suddenly looked up at me with a solemn and sad look in his eyes.

"It's a girl." He said with a hoarse voice. "Our little Cassia." He looked back at the bundle in his arms. "They couldn't save her..." He sounded like he was dead inside, which broke my already broken heart more.

"You want to hold her?" He asked, gesturing to the baby in his arms.

I nodded and he stood up, helping me to sit up right. He put her in my arms and I looked at her.

Her little face and tiny features.

She was gone, in my arms, but gone.

A sob wrecked through me as I looked at the little thing in my arms.

"Cassia." I whimpered her name, my tears landing on her chubby little cheeks. I kissed her forehead.

Wyatt stood next to me and held me close as we both mourned the loss of our child.

"I did everything right." I whimpered into his chest as we rocked back and forth. "I did every. Single. Thing, right."

"I know. I know. It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled while looking up at Wyatt. "I am so sorry."

He held my cheeks in his hands. "Don't you dare apologize. You did nothing wrong, in fact, you did everything right. It's no one's fault that this happened, and its most definitely not your fault. Okay?"

I nodded and he gave me a small kiss on my lips.

We got a picture taken of us to keep as a memory, but I knew that it was useless. I would just get home and put it in the deepest parts of the drawers. Never to see daylight ever again.

"It's okay. We'll get through this." Wyatt whispered into my hair.

I left the hospital fine physically, but mentally, I was far from. Along with a picture of the life we would never get to know, we left with the ashes of the little body we would never get to hold again.

We would never see her grow, know her likes and dislikes, scold her, get scolded by her. We would never get to know the little girl she would've been, or the woman she would've grown into. Would she lead or follow? Or maybe she would work in the background.

I had done everything right. The doctors had said everything was okay, but in the end, she still died. Taken from me in a dark twist of fate.