A Reserved or Ready Heart

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Heavenly Father, I come before You tonight
Although You already know my plight
I confess that my flesh is unstable
And that my heart doubts You are faithful

Long and hard, many times I have prayed
For this time to come and now it is near
Pondering to believe Your promise delayed
Than on the perfect love that casts out fear

I acknowledge I have not given my whole heart
Desiring and unwavering from the start
But like my fathers think my past life was better
When You are the same God yesterday, today, and forever

O I have kept back one piece from You
Why should I doubt this year You're Faithful & True?
Yet I would reserve my heart lest I feel a fool
Yet I have become more for limiting You

Frail dust before the Rock
This mortal heart spoke against God
Your wonders, forget; Your faithfulness, put to the test
Saying, "Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?"

Why should I doubt when You have  been ever strong and I, so weak?
That You may be just when You judge and blameless when You speak

In the lies of my vain understanding I cower
Like Israel's fathers, remembered not Your power
Then lift my eyes to the stars You've numbered and named
And see that none of those who wait on You will be ashamed

Ah, is it too late Lord that I should trust in You?
The returning wanderer, welcomed; the repentant, renewed?
Seventy times seven, I have fallen in unbelief
Father, if You are willing, You can make me clean?

I yield the piece I have kept back from You
Buried from risk, but now for Thine use
It is now whole though still little as such
Yet I now believe You are able to produce much

Contrary to hope, in hope I will believe
For my faith is the evidence of things unseen
He makes me face what I cannot comprehend
(Yet He does this to test me)
For He knows what He will do in the end

Let us therefore hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart
And do not depend on what you understand
In all your ways acknowledge Him
And He shall direct your paths

He is my Husband and Head
And I of His Bride He wed
That I should no longer live for myself
But for Him who died and rose again

So be crucified O exalted flesh
Cease anxiety and no more fret
His Word shall accomplish what He has planned
He is my God; my times are in His hands

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