"Paying with cash or card?"
"Card." I handed my card over to the guy manning the cashier because it was the only thing I could grab before I ran out and thank God I did.
He handed me my receipt and after a few minutes of waiting, he served me two cups of hot coffee. I took it and turned around, making my way to where she was seated. She was quiet the whole time. It could be the shock. This situation rarely happens so she's probably thinking how it happened. How her former doctor turned out to be a guy who's night job is a phone sex operator.
"Here." I placed her cup of coffee in front of her with a gentle smile.
"Thanks." She uttered meekly and wrapped both of her hands around the cup, "It's so warm.." A smile subtly bloomed on her lips and I'm glad that I'm the one seeing it right now. She met my eyes and jolts out of her brief trance. "Oh, can I pay you for this the next time we meet? I didn't bring enough money because I wasn't expecting to meet anyone today."
"It's on me. You don't have to pay me back." I replied, imitating how she wrapped her hands around her cup of coffee. It is very warm. "In return, can I see you whenever I want?"
Her lips opened but she didn't say anything. I realized what I just said and how weirdly I worded it so I panicked and stuttered a follow up, "No, I mean like meet up in the future.. like this.. not too soon.. just.. whenever you're comfortable."
"You have an odd way of talking." She chuckled and I felt relieved. "In one condition. I'm buying coffee next time."
I nodded and then we talked for hours. I explained how I took on my nightly occupation, about my mom, about my student loans, about my apartment and how my upstairs neighbor is an old man who plays a harmonica, about my fear of insects, just everything about me. There's something in the way she smiles and nods and sometimes laugh to the stories I say that makes me want to tell her more.
I feel so connected. More connected to her than anyone I have met before. Two more refills of our coffee and more nostalgic stories.
"Your childhood sounds fun." She commented. It was still raining outside and our coffee is still warm.
"What about you?" I directed my eyes towards her. "I want to know how you were as a child."
"I was free spirited as a child. I'm your exact opposite." She laughed about the memories that suddenly flashed in her mind and I was left admiring the happiness on her face. "I grew up in the countryside. I like hunting for beetles in summer and tagging along with my grandfather when he goes fishing. I remember going around the neighborhood and asking for snacks in the afternoon."
Her stories are colorful. I wanted to go to the places she went to and see for myself. Go to the sea and learn how to swim. Run barefooted uphill and roll on the grass on the way down. Her stories make me want to do things that I don't normally do. That I won't usually do.
"After high school, I left my grandparents to live with my mother and that's when my life started to go downhill." She said and the smile on her disappeared. "I realized that it's a struggle to live. I was only living in a dream."
"I think our dreams is what keep us alive." I said to her. "It's what takes me through the end of the day. If you hold onto that picture in your mind, there will always be a place for you to return to."
"You're right." Her smile returned. "You always have the right words."
"Not really.." I felt shy, hearing a compliment all of a sudden.
"I really want to escape this life." She said as she stared outside the window, into the rain. "I thought about dying but I'm scared of pain. I had so many unpleasant memories of pain and all of them were from people I love.. then one day, I told myself that I've had enough."
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HOTLINE | j.hoseok
Fanfiction"I'm here to answer your calls." In which Jung Hoseok is a very ordinary medical professional by day and a hot phone sex operator by night.
