Madame Spellman - Kissed by Fire

Chapter 14 ~ In the Death of her Reputation

“That bitch”, Zelda said as she entered the Spellman’s kitchen.
Hilda glared at her sister in surprise. Zelda? Swearing? That was a rather unusual thing at the mortuary and only happened in less than a few occasions.
“Who? Lilith?”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Hilda. The Dark Lord”, the witch exclaimed huffing.
“Oh… why?”
“Why? WHY?! Have you completely gone mad now, Sister?” She looked at the blonde with a shocked and puzzled expression. “Lest you forget, He almost killed me with our kitchen knife for Satan’s sake. Not to mention that He broke Lilith’s legs.”
“He did what? I’m going to put the kettle on”, the British woman said.

Zelda’s POV:

My sister nodded, understanding.
“So you asked her for help? And she refused you?”
Sighing, I looked into my cup of tea, watching the steam rising up into the air.
“She didn’t. Well, not really anyway. She said that she’ll tell me if she comes across anything helpful in her books.” I paused for a moment before I continued. “She didn’t have to, you know. I said I didn’t want her help and still she is willing to give it.”
“Because she loves you, Zelds. I know it and you do too”, Hildy carefully said, afraid that I might snap harshly at her.
“Hilda you fool, do you even hear yourself?”
“For how long do you want to continue this?”
“Continue what”, I snapped.
“To live in denial… of your feelings. Oblivious.”
“Oblivi- how dare you!” I jerked backwards and again; I ran. I ran from my feelings.

---

Night fell over the Spellman Mortuary. I sat in pitch-black darkness. Alone. I got used to being alone. My hands neatly folded in my lap, eyes closed, I sat on the rim of my bed. Since Hilda had moved out of our shared bedroom I felt sorrow. It was so quiet. And it felt so cold. This house no longer felt like a home. A breeze would sometimes rush through the halls like an intruder. You’d begin to think that the dark corners would suddenly disguise a threat. It wouldn’t feel like you chose to live in this house. It chose you. You’d feel as though you would be trapped, with no hope of escape. Unarmed for any intruders or threats. Inside this place was warm, outside it started to pour. You would be tied to the house. You had to stay because you had nowhere to go. I had to stay because I had nowhere to go. I didn’t have to be alone and still, for some reason, chose to. I had lied to her, to Lilith. I had lied because I’ve never loved anyone enough to feel obligated to be honest with them. But I also knew that that she deserved honesty. I had denied her that and now, I couldn’t go back. I sighed deep and let myself fall backwards onto my bed. With all this self-hatred, paranoia, and fear of unfamiliar dark magic, darker than I could ever possess, it was hard to find sleep. I must’ve laid there for several minutes, perhaps even hours, before ease and calmness had finally consumed my mind and then my whole body.

the next morning…

Dear Zelda… my love,

I may never be able to make up for the endless mistakes I’ve made,
for the hurt I’ve caused you.

That, Zelda, can never be forgiven and I accept that.
I would never ask that from you.

Despite what you may think, I am not mad at you.
Utterly hurt, yes.

Not only because of your words…
No, because I know that I’ve lost you.

I know me and I also know you.
Although I know you don’t want me to.

I know our pride.
Pride is strength but it may also be one’s greatest weakness, my dear.

Zelda, I need you to know that this is goodbye.
Without you, I don’t belong here.