Addicted.

36: Guilty Conscience

Qatari.

I released a horrified scream as Melly shifted my leg aggressively, trying to make it go back to normal but this seemed to have made matters worse. I believe my joints were out of place from the accident. Tears raced down my face as he applied an ice pack near the bruised area.

"You straight?" He wondered looking up at me with his doe like eyes.

I shook my head slowly, "it hurts bad.." I confessed.

"Yeah I know if you damaged ya' nerves and shit it's gone hurt longer but we lucky this all we walked away with - shit could've been worse." He was absolutely right. The car had flipped countless times not to mention it also caught on fire moments after we left the scene. It really could've been the end of us both and in a way I'm thankful, then again everything would've been "over." No more running. No more hiding. Just over.

He helped me off the bathroom counter and I began to walk but he cornered me by slamming his hands into the counter near my hips. His eyes examined my face carefully. I hated how he could sense when something bothered me just by looking at me. "What's fuckin' with you?" He wondered getting straight to the point. My eyes wandered slowly as I had refused to speak. He should've known by now. I knew Jamell knew me like the back of his hand. "Speak," he demanded raising his voice slightly startling me.

The truth was I wasn't fully aware what was wrong with me, I knew I was partially depressed from the absence of my child and I knew my body was almost completely tired.

"Nothing," I casually lied.

I couldn't tell him what was wrong.

"Lyin' for what?" He questioned stepping back folding his small arms over his chest while tilting his head aside.

A smug look crept onto my face as I tried to play it off pretending to be fine. It was overall selfish of me to keep pointing out things that bothered me when I knew Jamell was keeping everything bottled up and having a brace face - so, that's what I had decided to do. "Nothing," I smiled then it soon faded as the dark cloud hovered over me.

Jamell stepped aside without speaking.

I bit into my bottom lip as I made my way to the bed, taking a seat and placing a pain killer into my mouth. I didn't bother to drink any water cause that would make me have to pee and I couldn't just be jumping up running to the bathroom. I'd make my leg much worse if I had done that. I adjusted the blanket on my body, letting my eyes shut.

"Do you wanna leave me?" Jamell questioned causing me to quickly look in his direction as he stood at the doorframe of the bathroom door.

"What?" I nearly hollered at what flowed from his mouth.

"Do you wanna leave me?" He asked once more in a slower tone.

I slowly sat up and looked at him in disbelief. "Jamell wh-why would I leave you?"

He stared at me, "that's not what the fuck I asked you 'Tari I said do you wanna leave me? Yes or no?" He quizzed with his tone now just as cold as his eyes.

"No, I don't."

The truth was I didn't wanna leave Jamell, I absolutely adored him - but, I wanted everything else to just disappear and I knew all too well that would never happen. I just took another life earlier today because I just wanted to protect him. There was no way I could just leave after all I've done to eliminate any and everyone who had despised us or try to come between us. That's how I knew deep down he mattered to me. Before I met him I never would've thought love could be so deep and so powerful to the point where'd you hurt anyone just to keep it.

He released a small chuckle, "you gone lie all night huh?"

"I love you.. I'd never leave you... Not even in death," I confessed and his eyes had widened then quickly softened at my words. Deep down we both knew how this would all end and I was more than ready.

He made his way over to my side of the bed and leaned onto me, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose then against my lips. I gently gripped onto his face deepening it then slowly pulled away allowing my eyes to flutter open. "You have my soul," I promised looking into his orbs. The sound of a helicopter flying lowly had knocked both of us from out intense trance. "You know they looking for us right?" He finally spoke leaning his forehead against mine.

I nodded slowly with a single tear rolling down my cheek, letting my eyes close.

His thumb softly pushed it away.

"What do we do now?" I wondered trying to stay calm.

"I wanna see my son."

"I wanna see Maurice too," I smiled a bit.

His eyes suddenly widened and smiled endlessly, "that's his name?" He asked.

I nodded slowly, "I named him after you..."

He stood to his feet and held out his hand for me, "let's go see him."