Intoxicating💋 [Rewritten]

Chapter 5: It was an accident.

To any hardcore people out their reading this fanfic: I am not a hardcore person. I do not like using the proper words for women and men parts because I find the word for 'lady parts' disgusting. I couldn't even type it in without erasing it. Perhaps in the future when I'm more comfortable with it, I will start using it. So if you want, you can replace any words I haven't included with ones you want to make this more enjoyable for you. The end. :-)

[Warning] Strong language (only a little).

"Thank you so much!"

I'm sorry..what???

They stared at Barbara, their eyebrows furrowed. Okay, let's backtrack a little:

They'd been...uh...let's just say 'making out' in Marinette's room when Barbara had come barging in with two bags of ice lollies (that were now safely in the freezer) and caught them. She'd told them to meet her in the Kitchen and they'd had to mentally (and physically) prepare themselves for her rage or massive speech about the do's and don'ts (mostly don'ts) of sexual relations but instead of biting their ears off, here she was grinning like she'd just won the lottery and thanking them!

"Uhhh...your welcome?"

"Wait..why-why are we being thanked?"

She cleared her throat. "Well you see, I was going to give you the 'birds and ladybugs' talk, but (emphasis on 'but') your..uh..relationship let's say, has won me a lot of cha-ching!" She burst out laughing.

"Cha-ching?"

"Y'know! Dough!"

"Listen Barbs, I don't know what kind of 'dough' you're referring to, but the only kind I know is the one I use to make you your weekly rolls."

Barbara rolled her eyes. "Money!! You've won me a lot of money!" Damian opened his mouth to speak but she held her hand up. "Before you ask what I'm talking about, let me tell you not to freak out or get mad--" she stared pointedly at him, "and to take what I am about to say very well..." She shut her mouth slowly glancing at one and then another as if daring them to interrupt. When satisfied, she grinned. "Good. So. Me, Tim, Dick, Jason and Cass organized a betting pool where..." She dragged the 'e' on and spoke the next words in a rush "we bet on how long it would take for you guys to get together!"

"Excuse me! What?"

Marinette choked on whatever imaginary drink she'd been drinking. Perhaps it was the one called 'betrayal'. Nah, 'betrayal' was too bitter. Perhaps it was 'revenge'. Oh wait, no she was saving that one for later. She'd heard it was very sweet.

She waved her hands in protest and chuckled awkwardly. "No, no, you're getting it all wrong Barbs! We aren't together."

Barbara's laughter died. "You're...not?"

"No. Before we were just--I--There was something on his shirt and I was helping him get it off." She mentally slapped herself on the back. Great job Mari! Y'know what, she deserved a reward! Yeah! Maybe a trophy for the biggest doofus in all of Gotham, or maybe a medal for the worst liar in a the whole of America! Yup. That sounded just about right!

Barbara's eyes narrowed. "So there was something on his shirt.." Marinette nodded "and you decided that pinning him to a wall and joining your lady parts his dick in holy matrimony would get if off?" Marinette nodded slowly.

"Yup. That's basically it. Because...well...that stain was..uh..very low and I..I couldn't reach it.."

Baraba's head bobbed slowly. "Uh huh."

"And uh..well.." Shh! Shut the hell up Marinette! Just put your lips together, it's not that hard!!!

Damian slapped his hand on his head. "What she'd trying to say is that...uh..." Okay, to be honest, he hadn't really thought about what he was going to say. He was just trying to get Marinette to shut up.