Given half a chance

Chapter 8

Anna

It's been a week since I poured my heart out in front of Cath. A week since she's keeping my secret. A week since she's keeping my Sebastian from me .

Today I have a small hope that I will be getting to talk to Sebastian like the first few days of school . Because Ian is back to school today. He's angry at Cath for some reason . It's evident in the fire in his hazel eyes and the ferocious scowl of his face.

He asks Cath to follow him . Cath denies. He grows more impatient .

" I swear Catherine , you won't like to do it in front of the whole class ." He whispers yells at her. Catherine shoves him in the chest with a force I never thought her vaguely skeletal body has. Ian stumbles back . Catherine walks out of the class . Ian storms after her.

Ian is wrong though . The whole class is not here yet. Sebastian is not here yet. I wonder would he have allowed Ian to treat Catherine like that ?

If it this would have happened a few weeks ago , I would not let Ian treat Cath like this . But if Ian is upset about Cath's flirting behind his back , then I can understand his anger. Or maybe it's my way of making Cath suffer.

I don't want to take revenge on Cath. I don't want to hurt her. But also I don't want to stop Ian from hurting her. Ian's facial expression promised pain . And I am as reluctant as ever to stop him .

Why do I feel that Cath deserves it ? Because Sebastian likes him ? Because she didn't do anything about his frowning liking ? Even after I confessed to her ?

I didn't expect her to preach my love for Sebastian.  Then why ? I am jealous . I am angry at Cath . At her beauty and easy flirting and boy wooing qualities that I lack .

I want her to suffer. Because I am suffering.

I shudder at the realisation. If it's true -- it is true -- then what does it make me ?

Sebastian walks in with a visible smile on his lips putting an end to my thoughts. It's beyond my comprehension , how he manages to put an end to my every thought and emption with just one appearance .

He has have a new haircut . My jaw clenches. He has have a new haircut exactly the way Cath likes. Bigger at the front and chopped short at the back . No doubt he looks dashing . Beautiful . But it's how Cath wants to see him. Not how he wants he present him .

He walks towards my bench . His eyes searching for someone . His eyes are searching for Cath.  And he's walking towards Cath's bench , not mine .

" Hey Anna ."

" Sebastian. " This one word. This one name. Everyday I repeat it in my mind uncountable times. And yet Everytime  I call out his name loudly only deepens the satisfaction I receive from it.

His name is a source of infinite pleasure.

" Where's Cath ?" I smile . I was expecting this question sooner or later .

" Ian is back. She's with him ." Sebastian's face falls a little. I hate myself to be the bearer of this information . Sebastian likes somebody else's girlfriend . That's not fine . He needs to know Cath is with Ian and he's got no chance with her .

" Right. I forgot his suspension is ending today. " He says with a visible taint of sadness in his eyes .

What's there to be so sad ? He knows he's her boyfriend . They have been together for more than a year . Why is he behaving like this ?

" Why do you appear so sad ?" Sebastian looks surprised by my question . He blinks a few times . " I am not ."

I stand up from my seat. " Ian and Cath has been together for more than a year now Sebastian. "