𝙹𝚘 𝚈𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜

W H Y [A]

Yeong I'm so sorry lmao

Secrets between the Capitan and the King. Both of them sharing one. One of them hurting the other. The other hurting himself for the other.

Yeong knew all too well that Gon didn't take their "relationship" seriously. He was just pent up and he maybe just thought that Yeong was the best option. It hurt. It hurt Yeong a lot but he still couldn't leave Gons side.

It was their daily routine, being together almost 24/7.

They were walking through the hallway with Yeong a step behind Gon. The palace was still busy since it was only the afternoon. By the way Gon walked, he knew. The King was stressed out. He knew that he'll soon be under the older man, he knew the pain that awaited him when the same man that held him close decides to leave him alone.

He never stayed

And Yeong was never wrong. There he stood in an abandoned corner of the library with his pants slid down, legs trembling while his hands held the shelf for support. Chuckling bitterly to himself, he wore his pants properly again and managed to keep his balance on his wobbly legs.
"In this love, why am I alone?"

Yeongs P.O.V

After I gathered my strength to walk properly on my own, I left the library and headed straight back to finish my duties. My legs still ached ever so slightly and honestly my hips hurted because of the bruises he made. The cum inside wasn't helping either. I thought about ditching for a few minutes to take a shower but of course I had to be busy now. I sighed for the hundreth time today. Why am I doing this to myself? I knew that it was wrong but my stupid heart somehow felt at ease whenever he touched me. I love him. That's probably why I'm doing such a dumb thing. The King however, doesn't love me. Those touches and those eyes definitely aren't out of love. They didn't show need either. I don't even remember how did all of this start. The first time was a mistake. I had a day off so I drank some beer. I was tispy back then when he suddenly entered my room all sweaty and flushed red. Next thing I knew I was pushed onto the bed with him whispering those desperate "I love you"s into my ear.

I didn't know then, but now, I do. I know who he was calling for. I knew who he imagined instead of me. And, I knew who he loved and who he needed. What I still don't know is why. Why did he come to me, out of all people? I'm not even a woman, nor did he know about these sick feelings I hold.

Every day is the same. So, as always, I go to sleep. Tired, confused, cold and empty. Even after I close my eyes, your image hurts.

☆☆☆

4AM.

Turn off the alarm, get out of bed. Brush my teeth and wash my face. Wear my uniform, do my hair. Get to work.

Again

But today, I feel different. I feel emptier than usual. Is it because I skipped breakfast? Somehow, I don't feel like seing his majesty today. I don't feel like myself at all.

"Your majesty is coming!"

The mere sight of him hurt like hell now. What is wrong with me?

Our eyes met and for a split second I could see confusion in his dark orbs. Confusion?

Why?

Serving him was more exhausting than usual. Thankfully, he wasn't pent up today. I couldn't have handled it. But rather, I feel like asking him today. I feel like confronting him somehow.

I want to blame him

"Yeong-ah, why are you so quiet today? You're not nagging me at all."

'Huh?'

Should I risk it? Why am I feeling angry out of nowhere?

"I'm tired of this."

Jo Yeong what the fuck are you doing?

"I'm tired of you treating me as a tool, hyung."

Stop it, Jo Yeong. Stop talking.

"I'm asking you, not as the capitan, but as your childhood friend. Why? Why are you treating me that way? Why me, out of everyone?"

He rolled his eyes and glared straight at me.

"Jo Yeong."

Ah, fuck it

"You know that you're hurting me. You know that it's wrong. You know that...you know. You know I love you. Then why? Why are you behaving like this towards me? Tae Eul doesn't remember you, so what? You could make her know you, again. Why are you treating me as an option? Am I no human being?"

"Capitan Jo!!"

"Fuck this. I'm not sacrificing my sincere feelings for your selfish actions anymore. You left. Every damn time you left. You didn't even care if someone saw me. You bailed every time, only thinking about yourself. Why?"

I choked on my tears. My voice breaking ever so slightly. My throat burned and my chest ached.

He kept quiet. He didn't even utter a word. Only kept a pitiful look in his eyes as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry."

Why? Because you don't love me? Because you hurt me? Because you used me? Or, because you don't need me?

"...you're dismissed for today, go take a rest."

☆☆☆

I was never loved back. I was never comforted, nor embraced with love and affection. I was forced to grow up and throw my life away. I was never treated like a living being. I was only a tool. A sword and a shield.

"From now on, you're my Unbreakable Sword!"

Yeah right. I was just like your lighting sword. Fun while it's working the way you want it to. Quick to forget. Easy to throw out. Never loved. Never needed.

But it's okay. Since, I don't know if I would have any other worth anyway. Since, I'm born to serve you. I'm born to be ready to give my life up to protect you. That's all there is to my existence. And that is how it ended.

Y'all. I'm disappointed in this LMAO. I had this super sad story in my head but then I started to write and it all just POOF! G O N E. I--
Wtf like bro, give me my motivation back. I wanted to serve you something good :")
I'm a bad cook I guess...well...I live on eggs...
I'm craving some banana tho.
Sorry for the rant and for the bad chapter.
Y'all. The next chapter is gonna be a threesome for a very special person. If I mess it up, tell the Blue Whale to find me🌚👌🏻