Dive: A TharnType Story

16

TRIGGER WARNING!

This chapter contains graphic description of panic attacks and sexual abuse. If you are sensitive to either of these topics, please do not read this chapter.

Tharn looked at Type starting to gulp in air as he contorted his face in pain. He could hear the short sharp intake of breaths and the way his eyes were open wide in fear told him what it needed to. Type was having a panic attack. He could tell from a single glance because he used to have them all the time as a child. He knew how it felt like when you tried to breathe but your lungs refused to fill with air and how much pain that caused your body as your vision tunneled. He knew that suffocating feeling very well. He dropped the condoms on the floor, leapt onto the bed and grasped Type's shoulders. He tried to recall how his mom helped him calm down so he could do it for Type. 

He looked Type in the eyes, who was still gasping, his eyes looking fraught with panic. He knew he had to take his mind off the need to breathe which was making him unable to breathe in the first place. He locked his gaze with Type's, trying to remember what his mother did to calm him down. 

"Type, I need you to listen to my voice. Can you hear me?" He said, trying to make him focus solely on his voice, just like his mom used to. Type stared at him, more panicked at seeing Tharn so close to him after what had just happened. Tharn could see that Type was losing focus so he gently shook his shoulders to bring him back. "Type, you need to focus on me. Tell me. Can you hear my voice?" He asked again. 

Type nodded in short movements of his head and Tharn felt relieved at getting somewhere. "Good. Now I want you to look at me and focus on my voice and nothing else. Okay?" Tharn said. Type could feel his vision starting to falter, making him try to breathe harder but, no matter how much he tried, he was getting no air. 

Tharn could see Type losing focus again so he gripped his face with his hands and brought his face closer to him. "Type. Don't think about it. Don't think about anything. Just listen to my voice, okay?" Tharn said. Type, his attention now on how close Tharn's face was to his, stared into his eyes and realised Tharn was trying to help him. He figured he needed to breathe more than focus on what had happened because he could feel his vision spotting so he nodded again. 

Tharn, relieved at having Type back again, started to soothe his cheek with one hand and his chest with the other. "Good. Now just focus on my voice and try to breathe with me. Okay?" Tharn said. Type, wanting to feel air in his lungs again, curtly nodded. "Now slow down. Try to take a slow breath in," Tharn said and Type tried to follow his instruction. He tried to slow down the sharp intakes of breaths that his lungs were involuntarily taking. He tried to concentrate on the movement of his chest but it felt like he still couldn't breathe. It was like he had forgotten how his chest was a part of the breathing process. He felt his nose grow cold as the panic gripped his already frozen over chest, the only thing moving inside was his heart hammering against his ribs.

Tharn could see that Type had slipped in further and realised it was worse than he thought. He grabbed Type's hand and placed it against his chest, palm first. Steadying his voice as best as he could,"Type, do you feel me? Follow me, just focus on my breathing and try to do exactly what I'm doing, alright?" Tharn said, soothing Type's cheek. Type stared into his eyes, wanting nothing more than a lung full of air, and nodded again. Tharn started to breathe slowly and Type could feel the slow rise and fall of his chest. He focused on breathing exactly in the same way and he felt a small puff of air make its way into his lungs. He realised it was working so he closed his eyes and focused on the hand that was on Tharn's chest. He brought his other hand up to his own chest to feel if he was breathing the same way. He slowly started to match their pace of breathing and with every breath, he felt his lungs starting to open up little by little as the air flow increased in increments.