The Summer of '93

Dream vs reality

After admiring the view we walked down the hillside and Dionisis bought me a cappuccino. I racked my brains; what could I buy him to thank him? I was so useless at that! Women are so easy to buy for. I did try to do my bit when I could. 

Walking the streets of Heidelberg I thought it a strange situation that a McDonalds was installed in the most beautiful building in town. I paused to capture it on film. Next was Dionisis, standing tall in the Square with the backdrop dominated by the Castle. A camera was all he carried. I was next for the same spot to be preserved on film. Dionisis took a picture of a building and unwittingly captured the only sex shop in the frame.

Every time I looked into his eyes, I caught myself lingering there for too long, longer than I ought to and was socially directed to.  I don't know if he realised how I felt about him and it was impossible to read him, probably because I was too busy focusing upon my own anxieties and insecurities so much and not reading any signs that might be there. I knew it could easily be the result of a clouded view, but the way we got on together made it even more confusing. The pragmatist in me knew I was only seeing the best side of him but yet, from the very first time I met him, I was completely drawn to him with attraction for both inside and out. I was almost drooling. Dionisis' demeanor was instantaneously magnetic. The way I felt about this man and the fact and opportunity for me to be with him was unfathomable and I continued to want him so badly. I wanted him to just wrap me up in his arms and kiss me. I was staying in his home, he was so attentive and yet we spent so much time with his friends. It was all so unclear. Yet Ann had been at pains to exploit his cleaning to poke fun at endearingly. To be able to see inside and get some insight, even from one of his friends would have been helpful. It was endlessly frustrating. We took our time strolling back to the apartment.

Soon Dionisis was turning the key and I was back in his room again. I sat on the bed looking at him as he came in. I had such a lovely time with him and it was even better we were together -just us. There wasn't anyone I would rather be with. I smiled up at him and he beamed back.

"Let me try something." he puzzled. 

I glimpsed at my rose to stop myself staring at him, whilst he balanced his camera and waited patiently for him as he took his time.

Dionisis approached the top of the bookshelf. He deliberated over moving around some books and he perched his camera on the top shelf and positioned it so that the lens was pointing at me. I studied his actions involuntarily. I could see the concentration on his face and his movements were slow and deliberate. I could feel my mouth shaping, wanting to kiss around his. Every fibre of my being craved him. He stepped away from the shelf, towards me and put his arm around me after attempting to set the timer. I could feel his hand through my clothes. Every nerve was firing and responding to his touch. We waited for the timer to go off. Once the picture was taken, there was no doubt in my mind that he felt the same way too about me. Suddenly it was as though I could read his mind, as his face divulged an agonisation that mirrored mine. It was so apparent as his eyes searched mine and his yearning to lean in was palpable. 

He pressed his hand into my back and we lingered as we gazed at each other. I felt rooted to the spot, partly with disbelief, partly with an enormous sense of relief. My skin took on a different sensory dimension due to the anticipation of him whilst his hand touched me. I closed my eyes by reflex of his being so close to mine and reached up to kiss him for the first time, longing to taste him. His lips were pressed firmly against mine. I was concious of  a tingling, warm sensation that radiated around the bow of my mouth and reverberated across my stomach. His chest was close against me. His heart was pounding, hard and what I had wished for above anything since our meeting,  was happening, it was really happening. For months I had imagined what this moment would be like and would feel like. Where his body was in contact with mine, I could trace his masculinity through his clothes. He felt strong, and tall and so muscular. We pressed hard together and I savoured his kiss that was gentle and it felt incredible. My lips felt the memory of the welcome pressing of his and they craved more. It is was so intense and it was beyond what I could have imagined. It gave me a feeling of an overwhelming surge of emotion, bordering on unbearable and incomprehensible. The emotion welled up in me, it felt in the pit of my stomach, like a pan that was going to overflow of heat; it was  so intense that I genuinely felt light headed for a moment. I felt it move up my core and smarting my eyes. His arms naturally wrapped and folded around me with pressure that I relaxed into, idyllically at a choice moment. My back prickled and the tingles continued up like a massage to the base of my neck as his hand moved up to the back of my head through my hair. An ache enveloped my body and I wondered what sensations he was experiencing. He literally had all of me in the palm of his hands.