The Summer of '93

Trains, no planes and automobiles

So in terms of the week I had just had, it was a whistle stop tour of :

Monday - Cumbria, was a 14 hour day.

Tuesday I was back in the office.

Wednesday I drove down to Oxford and back.

Thursday 07:30 catching the train to Edinburgh. I missed the last train. The trains were totally disrupted. It was November. I met Karen to go shopping at the Gyle with her. She drove. We went back to her flat.

"Do you want a cuppa?"

"Yes please" I replied.

"How about something stronger, I've got Bailley's."

"ooh, go on then you've twisted my arm!"

"Good, Chris must be working late." Karen opened her mail and showed me her clothing bill on her Next statement.

"I must stop spending so much on clothes." Karen was older than me and had a supervisory job so her pay must have reflected her spending. She spent £400 a month just on clothes.

"So what's new with you? I've not had a chance  to catch up with you in ages!"

"I've been spending time with someone at work, after work." Karen handed me a glass.

"Well you're always the last to leave the office, that's for sure!"

One of her two cats jumped on my knee and started to head butt my arm. I sipped on a glass of Baileys with two ice cubes kissing in the crystal glass.

She tapped her glass on mine. "The thing is, I never see Chris, he's never here. When I am he's so tired, I think he's lost interest in everything, including me."

"But you've been living togeher for such a long time." I pointed out.

"Yeah but he's never going to ask me to marry him is he? I'm always going to be his live in housekeeper." It was clear it was a marriage with no ring.

The Indian takeaway arrived that we had ordered for dinner. I paid for it and collected the receipt.

"So what about working with someone you're having a relationship with?"

"Well things are looking pretty good so far," She continued, "and we've known each other for a long time. He's split up recently with his girlfriend."

I guess it's about being careful that he's not on the rebound?" I suggested.

"No," she said, "this has been brewing for some time."

"So what about leaving here?" I asked.

"He has an apartment in town." I got from that, that she was just going to move out of here, and move in there. It was her life and it wasn't any of my business. She was kind to me and I liked her very much. I slept on the couch.

I got up the next morning and we left at 08:15. I said goodbye and went to see the duty manager at the train station to extend my ticket, given that they had cancelled the train due to the  inclement weather conditions.

Saying goodbye again was all very final, a bit like Karen's relationship. She had already said goodbye to Chris and having never met Chris I wondered if hearing goodbye would be a relief or a shock. I would never know. If only it was possible to fast forward and anticipate it a decision is the right one. I hope they went on to have a happier life.

I had to feel empathy for Chris. Even if the relationship was over I reflected on what a callous and cowardly way it was to end a relationship but maybe that was because my own with Dionisis had been so abruptly terminated too.So Dionisis ghosted me and I didn't know why. It said more about the man he was than what I did. I spent so much time agonising as to what I did wrong. However the blame was with Dionisis.