The Summer of '93

Back to reality

They say time flies for women and slows down for Men. They weren't wrong. I thought I would give Dionisis space to pursue me. With that space became a big void. It felt like the size of the Grand Canion in its breath that left an echo that reverberated with genuine anguish.  It genuinely felt like he had forgotten about me. The lack of contact punched a hole through me. To go from such intimacy to such propelled desolation left me totally bereft.

In my bedroom, the walls were pink and I had a single bed. Above the bed was a signed poster of one of my favourite bands, It Bites. To the right of the door I had hung some pictures that Dionisis had processed for me before I came home. Dionisis had painstakingly numbered every photo and got two sets, one for me. The one that he had taken on the shelf of the two of us kissing - I had that enlarged and it took pride of place on my wall. Every time I passed it I wanted to be transported back there again. I felt like a drug addict going through what I imagined cold turkey to feel like. 

I had missed Scruff though. I got a very big welcome from a very scruffy, boisterous dog. I took him for a good run.

So back to work with a a catastrophic bump. I took some chocolates into work for the staff. I got my photos developed and I was late back because of a bomb scare! I was relieved to get home.

I spoke to Quig and went to see him. As always Pizza calls. I tried ringing Dionisis and I spoke to Christian. He was nice but I had to wonder - was Dionisis avoiding me? I was weary with all of it.

I talked online to Quig on Wednesday. To do that we used something called Internet Relay Chat. My ex Richard came into the chat room. He rang up Quig to tell him that my email alias had expired and if I carried on using it, he would block me. He was petty and jealous. It was him who had the affairs. I was well shut of him. So I used Quig's alias instead!

One of our senior engineers delivered a training course on Ingres for two days at work and it was heavy going. Quig and I went for a Chinese meal on the Thursday and Friday. He made me a meal of chips and veggie burgers. Quig was being attentive and kind. He'd picked me up during my strains with Richard and now it was keeping me diverted after the lows of coming home from Heidelberg. I didn't want to load it into him and didn't go into detail as to my low feelings but he knew me too well.

Saturday I met up with Becky for retail therapy and a change of scene. It was good to catch up with her and talk about my trip. We always know what the outcome will be but we as humans go through the motions. I bought a coat and some pot pourri, just in case I got stopped by the police again I thought I'd give them something major to talk about! More on that later!

I headed over to Quig's and I made my signature lasagne for us. We went to see Dangerous Game. I knew I was seeing him a lot but we were both at a loose end and his company was easy. We'd known each other for eight years. We got back after midnight. I slept on the sofa and he slept on the floor. I got home at nearly 4pm as Quig and I were talking until 6am and I slept until 1pm. That was my immediate life now.

Mum and I regularly headed into Leeds for shopping. Our favourite place to visit was by the train station. It was an area called Granary Wharf. It was a myriad of waterways with the river running through it. The atmosphere of the underground brick tunnel network was dank and dark and a little bit spooky. Light and shadow danced like the reflection of seawaves across the apex of the brick arches. The arched corridors were haunted by spectres of dark shadow characters that would chunter away, as I passed through from the main road, into the under road void. The water would travel noisily, at pace. But the shops were a mixture of furniture, food, cut crystal with engraving. This particular day there was someone I had not seen before - a tarot card reader. She had short brown hair with a sign saying "Tarot cards reading £5."