Can I kiss you | Larry Stylinson |

Part 10

I'm now continuing from Part 9 😘
⚠️possible trigger warning⚠️
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I'm sitting in the shower with my head in my knees. The water pours down, it drips by my side, as my mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms me; it takes my mind off things. As I stand back up the water hits my arm causing me to recoil in pain. Everything floods back into my mind. My memories of Luena, my feelings for Louis. The way They looked at me as I ran out of school. I wish I hadn't of left.

When I get out of the shower I wrap my towel around my waist. I stand in front of the mirror looking at myself. Thinking about what I'd done earlier in the parking lot.

My phone keeps buzzing. It's like now that I'm gone everyone cares. Except I'm not gone and I'm perfectly fine....

Nialler
Harry I know it's hard!! Please answer to tell me you're ok!

Liam👀
Harry you ok mate? Pls get back to me soon x

Bradford badboy
HARRY!!!! I HEARD YOU LEFT R U OK??

Lou :)
Haz I know you're upset..please tell me you are ok. Luena and I talked and we are fine with whoever you choose ok?

Mum
Harry! I'm on my way home now. WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SCHOOL LIKE THAT

Gemma❤️
Meet me at the spot rn <3

Great mum is going to kill Gemma too.

"The spot" as Gemma put it in her text is a place near this lake that her and I used to sneak off to when we were kids. It's quiet and has a nice view. We go there to talk about our problems when we really need guidance.

"Hey little brother" Gemma smiles as I greet her

She's sitting on the side of the lake criss cross

"Hey Gemma" I say

She tells me to sit down

"What happened Harry?" She asks me

"What are you talking about" I say

"You left school, as soon as you left Louis found me and told me what happened. I of course had to go get you" she tells me

"You didn't have to" I say sadly

"I wanted to" she replies "I heard it from Louis perspective, now I'm asking for yours"

I sigh. She's right if I don't want to continue back down the road of self harm, I need to speak up.

"Well it all started when I  realized I had potential feelings for Louis. I started thinking about it all the time. I told Luena and Niall about these new feelings and they really tried to help me. Luena and I came up with a plan to be in a fake relationship to see if maybe Louis had feelings for me too. Only like 2 days after he started getting really mad and jealous. After Louis snapped at me about how it was my fault he was upset Luena took me to a party where it would be just us. She looked so pretty, so perfect......she is perfect. I kissed her, I realized since we started fake dating I had caught feelings for her too. She was so cuddly and so sweet. When she dropped me off at home Louis was at our door step. He told me he was in love with me. That's where the problem started" I say

Gemma looks at me and says "relationships are really hard Harry." She sighs "you need to separate your self from them for a little, and they need time to think as well."

I smile at her and begin to wrap my arms around my Sister. "Thank you" I say

She hugs me back and reply's with "anytime"

Gemma and I walk back home together. She tells me about a boy a school that she likes, we talk more about Luena and Louis.

When we arrive home our mum it's furious with us.

"Where the hell did you two go!" She yells as we walk in

"Mum it was all my fault I'm sorry" I say

"Nonsense, I'm older I let him get away with it" Gemma says

"You both are grounded"

Me and Gemma sigh but we do as we're told and go to our rooms.

I then revive a text

Luena <3
Don't be upset Harry. I still love you.

When I read her message I feel like I can finally breathe again. Knowing that shes is ok makes me feel ok again.

I didn't know how to answer so I just left it alone. Me and Louis still had our project due, it was due tomorrow. I decided since I had the project Gemma and I could work on it and just give Louis the credit on the part that Gemma does.

"This is fucking stupid" I say while working

"Yeah it totally is but you cannot get a bad grade" Gemma sighs

I'm really glad Gemma was there because without her I don't even know or want to know what I would have done instead of meeting her at the spot.

"Anything new with your love triangle" Gemma laughs

"Mmh kinda. Luena texted me finally" I answer

"What did you say back" she asks

"What, nothing?" I say

Gemma drops everything and looks like she has just seen a ghost

"No no no Harry you always answer a girl. Give me your phone" she says while snatching my phone

Gemma types a message to Luena and sends it

Me
Sorry again Luena I didn't mean to cause problems to our friendship. I really care about you. Love you..

Oh god she sent THAT.

"Here" Gemma says happily

I act appreciative because I don't want to make her feel bad

"Thanks Sis" I say

That night I couldn't help but think about what happened. I couldn't stop thinking about my wrist. I haven't looked at it since when I first did it. I got up from my bed and turned on the light. I lifted my sleeve to reveal 13 cuts down my arm. My wrist stung as the cool air in my room hit them. I pulled my hoodie sleeve back down and sat on the end of my bed looking out of my window. I started getting tired as I examined the stars. I lied down, I closed my eyes.

Tomorrow is not going to be fun

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Thanks for reading xx

-Ondina