It Was All for You

Chapter 10

"Sure..." I said. I was scared. Scared that he might break up with me. Leave me. Leave me for Niall. That he was moving. That Ruth died. The possibilities were endless. 

"I have to ask you something..." he said. 

Oh my God. Was he gonna propose? He's only nineteen! I'm only eighteen! 

"Okay" I said nervously. 

"Do you love me? Like not a best friend love, but actual real love".

"Yes Liam! I love you so much! Why would you ever think I don't mean it?"

"Because whenever the boys or Zayn is around you, you kinda ignore me..."

"Are, are you jealous of Zayn? Is that why you've been getting into fights lately?"

"Yeah... he's the 'Brandford Bad Boi' and you're making it look like you like him..." 

"Liam... the only person I will ever love is you".

"And I started getting into fights because I thought I would be more like him if I did..."

"Liam, you don't have to do that for me. I love you. I love Liam Payne. Nobody else. I love you for you. That's why I love you so much. You make me feel special and wanted and loved".

"But I wanted to do it. It was all for you".

"Liam, baby, I love you to death. Why did you think I wanted to have sex with you last week? Because I love you. Liam James Payne. Not Zayn".

He smiled at what I said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. 

"So can you can stop trying to be Zayn now and go back to being me puppy?" I said. 

I could see his eyes watering.

"Okay" he chuckled.

I wiped a tear falling down his cheek. We looked into each other's eyes. He leaned down and kissed me. 

"I love you too" he said. 

We went inside and upstairs to finally go to bed, although it was like four in the morning and the sun was just starting to come up.

We changed into sweatpants, and me in a tee shirt. When Liam came back from brushing his teeth, I noticed three perfectly straight scars on his wrist.

Oh no. Dear God, oh no. 

I got up and walked over to him and took his wrist in my hand gently. 

"What are these? Why are they on your skin?" I asked. 

He broke from my grasp and walked towards the bed saying, "Nothing".

"Liam please tell me why you did it? It was because of me wasn't it?"

"Yeah... and me".

I crawled up next to him, taking his wrist in my hands again. "Please. Tell me Liam".

"You just looked like you liked Zayn so much, and I hated myself 'cause I could never be like him no matter how hard I try. And you weren't here with me and it was killing me - that's one of the reasons I didn't talk to you. You just liked Zayn so much, and I thought you didn't love me so I... cut. I had no other choise or way out!" 

I started crying. I kissed his cuts. "Baby don't you ever ever cut because of me. I love you for you. I love you for Liam. Remember two years ago when we met?"

"Yeah".

"And you were all shy?"

He laughed. "Yeah".

"And then I hugged you and said you didn't need to be shy?" 

"I practically melted in your arms".

"And I looked in your gorgeous brown eyes? Right then and there is when I fell in love with you".

"I did too", he pulled me closer, "that New Year's Eve was perfect".

"When you kissed me? For the first time? I loved that" I said. 

"I love you so very much Emma".

"I love you too Liam. Always have, always will".

"I wanna do something"  Liam said getting up. He walked over to his closet and pulled the guitar out that Niall gave him.

He sat down on the bed. He started playing, then sang, "Am I asleep? Am I awake or somewhere in between?" 

He was singing 'Truely Madly Deeply'. He looked at the guitar the whole time though, beacuse he barely knows how to play the guitar.

He was right on key. My eyes started to water and soon enough I was crying. He's the sweetest person. He's all I could ask for. He's all I want. 

"With you" he finished, and looked up at me, smiling.

"Oh Liam that was so beautiful!" I said wrapping my arms around him, and still kind of crying.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because you have the most beautiful voice and you were singing it to me!"

"Well yeah you, who else? Niall" he laughed.

I pulled away from him, wiping my eyes. His hand reached out and slowly wiped my last tear off my cheek.

"The parts of that song I wrote, I wrote for you".

"Oh my gosh Liam, I love you so much" I said chuckling.

"I do too" he said, laying us down.

I cuddled into his warm bare chest. He kissed my forehead and started quietly singing 'Little Things' to me. I started to cry when he sang his part, and fell asleep, softly crying to how beautiful his voice was. I was asleep by the end of the song.