Broken (Tony Stark x reader)

5

    Cold.
    That's all I could feel right now. Well, that and the water filling my lungs but I couldn't do anything about that because I'm pretty sure I was knocked out.
    Fuck. If I die, Logan is gonna kill me. But after all I've done maybe it's for the best. I've done a lot of shit in my life, and a decent amount of it was wrong.
    God... I'm such a fuck up. A lost cause. I'm just a bad person, even when I think I'm doing the right thing I end up causing trouble. I get no redemption arc.
    but, if I died now it wouldn't be so bad. I always knew I was going to die alone so this is fine. Bucky had Steve again, so once his mind was in the right place he wouldn't care that I was gone. Logan would get over my death quickly; Wade would be upset but then get right back to his annoying self; and Tony...
    Well? What about Tony? We weren't in a relationship, hell we weren't even friends, but... what if he feels something for me like I feel for him? the attraction is there, it practically radiates off of him whenever we're in the same general vicinity. But he wouldn't care- he's gonna get back Pepper anyways.
    So, death seemed pretty inviting now.
    I could see him now, his ice cold hand reaching out to me, gripping my arm tightly as he pulled me away towards heaven or hell. Maybe even purgatory. I deserve the worst place ever to spend eternity.  My body was limp in his grip. Or was it my soul? Considering he is death he'd be dragging away my soul. I was set on the ground and then he began to push on my chest, repeating his actions every few seconds. This wasn't death, he wouldn't be trying to save me.
    Why did I feel like I was going to throw up?
    I coughed and spit out water, my eyes opening as air returned to my lungs. I sputtered and turned on my side, coughing still.
    "There she is," a voice said as they laid a hand on my back. I looked over my shoulder and saw Sam smiling down at me. I moved to sit up and he helped me. "Easy there."
    I looked around, we were by the river bank, Steve and Bucky next to us. I crawled my way over to the pair. I saw Bucky's chest rise and fall gently, the impact must have knocked him out and Steve pulled him from the river. I rested my hand on his stomach and laid my forehead on the back of my hand.
    "We can't stay here," I said sitting back up and looking at Steve.
    He nodded. "I have an idea of where to go. Can you walk?"
    I nodded. "I can manage. You got him or do you need help?" I said, removing my hand from Bucky's abdomen.
    "I got him. If not, Sam'll help me."
    I nodded and pushed myself up and stood on shaky legs. "Fuck that took a lot out of me." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. I took a deep breath. "Well, let's get a move on. I'll be fine in an hour or so."
    Sam and Steve hauled Bucky to his feet. The next few movements we had were like a daze to me. I can vaguely remembered everything. But now we were sitting in a warehouse waiting for Bucky to wake up.
    I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I could feel the energy start to flow in my body; all my potential energy coming back to it's full level, well- it's more than the normal level.
    I opened my eyes and held my hand out, the magenta energy coming out the palm of my hand like a flame from a lighter.
    "All better?" Steve asked, looking down at me.
    I nodded. "All recharged like a battery," I smiled.
    He held his hand out to me and pulled me up. He smiled back at me, but it fell from his face when he looked at my neck. "Did-"
    "Relax Steve, I've had worse." I waved him off. "Plus he didn't do it; he was being controlled. Trust me, I'd know."
    "What do you mean by that?"
    I sighed and crossed my arms as I looked over to Bucky who was sitting on the ground, his metal arm clamped in a vice. "All his time spent as the Winter Soldier wasn't of his own will- all the things he did was because Hydra was controlling him. The guy went in there and triggered him somehow... He was controlling him."
    "That I can figure," Steve said with a clenched jaw. "What'd you mean by 'trust me, I'd know'?"
    One of the stipulations of my 'superhuman charm', as Bucky likes to call it, is that it only works if the person I'm charming doesn't know about it (no for real, this is based off of Gambit's charm and if you know about it it will not work on you), but I couldn't just tell Steve about it, I might just wanna make him do stupid stuff in the future.
    "A lot of my friends have had their minds controlled, it's kinda noticeable. Especially if you know what they were like before, it's easy to tell in their eyes." I looked back at Bucky as Steve looked out the door.
    "Well, next time I think you should stay put. You could have gotten seriously hurt." He said with crossed arms.
    "You worryin' about lil ol' me, Captain?" I smiled.
    Steve smirked slightly. "Just a little bit, miss (L/n)."
    "Hey, guys!" Sam called. We both turned and made our way over to him. When we get over there, Bucky is up and staring at us, so we stare back.
    "Steve." Bucky whispered.
    "Which Bucky am I talking to?" Steve asked with an eyebrow raised.
    "Your mom's name was Sarah...You used to wear newspapers in your shoes." Bucky smiled.
    "Can't read that in a museum." Steve smirked.
    I looked at Sam who scoffed.
    "Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?"
    Bucky looked at Sam. "What did I do?"
    "Well you choked (Y/n), for one," Sam answered. "And-"
    Bucky looked at me with wide eyes.
    "You did a lot, Buck," I nodded. "But it wasn't your fault."
    "Oh, God, I knew this would happen." He shook his head and looked down at the ground. "Everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words." He clenched his fists.
    I walked over to him and crouched next to him, resting my hand gently on his back. "Who was he?"
    Bucky shook his head. "I don't know."
    Steve crossed his arms. "People are dead, Buck. The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than 'I don't know.'"
    I gave Steve a glare. "The guy just came into his own fucking conciousness, give him a little bit of time."
    Bucky looked at Steve then to me. "He wanted to know about Siberia." He looked at Sam. "Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where."
    "Why would he need to know that?" Sam asked with furrowed brows.
    Bucky sighed. "Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier."
    I shared a look with Sam and Steve. The Winter Soldier was a killing machine, and we all thought that it was only Bucky, but now knowing there is more than just the one... well that's gonna complicate a lot of things. This was not going to go well.

***

    We all sat and listened to Bucky tell us about the other Winter Soldiers and what Hydra did to them all. I looked at Bucky when he finished.
    "Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history. And that was before the serum." He said looking down at the ground. His arm was no longer in the vice; and regret was just radiating off of him.
    "They all turn out like you?" Sam asked.
    Bucky looked at him and shook his head. "Worse."
    "The doctor, could he control them?" Steve asked, hands on his hips.
    Bucky nodded. "Enough."
    "Said he wanted to see an empire fall." I repeated his words and looked up at Steve, he gave a nod, his jaw tense.
    Bucky looked at me. "With these guys he could do it. They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize." He shook his head. "They can take a whole country down in one night. You'd never see them coming."
    Sam stepped up to Steve, and I followed. "This would have been a lot easier a week ago." He whispered.
    Steve shook his head. "If we call Tony..."
    I rested my hands on my hips and laughed. "Haha, No." I looked at him with a straight face. "He will not believe us."
    "Even if he did..." sam began
    "Who knows if the fucking Accords would let him help." I crossed my arms and looked at Steve.
    "We're on our own." He frowned, but nodded.
    Sam held up his hand. "Maybe not. I know a guy."
    I looked at him. "I know lots of guys too... I could probably get a few of them over here; as long as y'all don't mind mutants."
    Steve looked at me. "Maybe we shouldn't have so many of you in the same place, y'know with the government basically out for your kind."
    I nodded. "Right, right... but Logan would be willing to help, he doesn't care if he gets caught or anything. But..." I furrowed my eyebrows in thought. "Actually no, if someone stands in his way he'll kill them and that will only exacerbate the situation." I shook my head. "Yeah, Sam let's go with your guy." Steve and Sam shared a look and chuckled at my antics. My cheeks burning a little bit.