Broken To Become Stronger

Chapter 31•~ Breaking Of Promises

                 Chapter 31

      •~ Breaking Of Promises

                      "*"*"*"

                           26th August,2020

If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, know that you hold a great status with Him. Know that He is dealing with you as He does with His Awliya’ and chosen elite, and is watching over you.

  
  Al Ghazali
    
                          ***

Shoaib woke up before faj'r, much earlier than his mind wanted to. His sleep that night was troubled.He eased his way out of the bed,careful not to wake the person sleeping next to him. He stared off into the silence, the slightly chilly midnight air drifting through the open window of the room.

Making his way out of the bedroom, he opened the door and made his way across the hall,walked into Ayah's room. She was sleeping peacefully in her crib with her thumb in her mouth.He walked over to her and kissed her before he left to the door behind the stairs that lead to the backyard.

Standing outside in the middle of darkness, it felt as if the night sky hung sadly.

Light breeze blowing in short, soft gusts through his hair, cooling and calming him...It was as if they were reaching for him, trying to remind him that he was still alive,that he was exhausted of sweeping significant issues "under the rug." And today is the day when eventually all of the lethal debris beneath their marriage has risen up.

It was becoming something he couldn't control.He was done pretending and acting like he was fine from the outside but on the inside he was hopelessly sad.No trace of light could penetrate the steel walls of the cold,dark tunnel that became his home.

The past few months were the most difficult period of his life.He lost his hope in her completely. His life was boiling with disharmony, conflict and unrest.He examined all the compromises he had made to keep this marriage working but now things were going beyond his control.

Brushing those thoughts away he stepped inside home to his room.

He made wu'du and got ready to leave to masjid.On his way back to home he stopped by at his mother's place helped her fix her morning tea and spent some time with her.Since the time she had moved to separate home,most of his time was consumed in making trips between the two homes. He was against her moving out and had made every possible attempt to make her stay with them but all in vain.She thought her moving out to some other place would bring any change in their relationship...and yes there was a change,a bad change. Ayah was the one to suffer the most, Labeebha's negligence towards her remained the same as a consequence he started taking Ayah with him,dropping at his mother's place while going to office and would pick her up on his way to coming back home.

Several hours later he returned home to find it in the exact condition,when he had left.

Having prepared a light breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast, fresh juice and tea he took a tray into the bedroom.

"Rise and shine,sunshine".He said putting down the tray on a small side table.

She rolled onto her back and groaned.

"It's close to noon,get up Labeebah".He shook her by the shoulder and It took another ten minutes to wake her up and make her feel like a human...alive.

"It's Sunday...why can't I sleep some more".She mumbled sleepily.

"If you some sleep some more you'll find yourself waking up at night...it's too late already."He pulled the curtains back to one side.