05|| Dark

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It is dark

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It is dark. I can't see anything around me. It is a foreign sight to me; totally unexpected. It reminds me of the time I found myself all alone in this world. Having no one to look after you, to be there for you; it all feels too invidious. It most certainly is. I would never wish this upon anyone. I was 13, incapable of taking care of myself like how a proper adult looking after me would. Nevertheless, I still somehow ended up alone with them deliberately leaving me behind. The heartache I feel whenever I remember how I begged them to rethink their decisions will never fade. I know I screwed up in more ways than one but I still think I didn't deserve that- nobody does.

I keep trying to look for a light source but there's nothing besides this unceasing blackness. My heart rate speeds up as I once again remember—something that is a run-of-the-mill to me. The empty darkness always reminds me of the time I was abandoned.

I was petrified. I was starving. I wanted to go back home so bad that I spent sleepless nights wishing for the moment my 'beloved' parents would come and get me. I tried not to move much for when they finally decide to come. I wanted to be found.

But they did not disappoint. They are stubborn and I know I shouldn't have expected anything different. Of course they didn't come back. I am not too important for them to supposedly risk their stable lives for.

I am unwanted.
I am nothing but a burden.
I am trouble.
I am not important.


I feel all these emotions coming back to me in one force. I scream as I feel the pain building up to become physical and I continue to look for a light source to follow.

"No body will ever want me. My own family got rid of me and I was always told that blood runs thicker than water. If the people who share my blood themselves don't want me, who will ever?" I hear 13 year old Valentina's voice taunting me. 

"You are nothing but trouble!" A group of voices starts chanting.

"Stop," I scream as I bring my hands up to my ears and try to block out the noise.

"This is all your fault," they continue to say.

"STOP!" I scream again and they all finally perish. I pant on the floor while I look around me. The tenebrosity has yet to fade but it's a bit brighter than it was a few minutes ago.

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