You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine

Chapter 11: Just For A Moment

Bellamy awoke the next morning with a soft groan. The rain was still pouring down outside, hitting the roof. Raising his head to the other side of the bed he expected to see Clarke still asleep, but she wasn't. Rolling from his stomach to his side he could see her getting dressed on the other side of the bed. She had already pulled up her underwear and was in the process of putting her bra back on.

Bellamy reached out a hand to run across her smooth back. She clasped her bra and dropped her hands at the contact. Her head lowered a little when she felt his hand start to undo her work. "Why don't you come back to bed?" Bellamy couldn't keep the smirk off his face if he tried. "It's still raining, and you don't want to catch a cold, right?"

"Bellamy," she breathed his name like a sigh, causing his hand to drop from her back and push himself up onto his elbows. The smirk was wiped clean off his face as his brows came together.

"Come back to bed Clarke." He didn't ask this time. He was testing her, seeing what she would do in the situation. "I want to hold you a little longer." She shook her head and turned to meet his eyes. Bellamy had to swallow the lump in his throat. Her eyes that looked like a blue sky with clean, fresh air after it rained looked dull. There was not emotion for him to see. She just looked blank, like she'd never cared about anything before.

"What's going on?" His voice was cracking as he spoke to her. He didn't want to know the answer, he just wanted to hold her and feel a little better, like he could forget for just a moment about the pain of their baby. But he also wanted to know the answer, to know what her intentions of them would be. It felt like a double edged sword. On one side he could believe a lie, that they were going to be ok, but on the other side he could shatter the fantasy with one slice.

Clarke looked at him with dull, grey-blue eyes. She seemed to follow his train of thought some how. She was always able to tell what he was thinking. He at first thought the radiation had affected her gave gave her superpowers. Then he remembered that just because he had lived in space, didn't mean the impossible existed.

"Nothing," she spoke as she looked at him. He knew that the look on her face wasn't nothing. Something happened and he wanted to know what. Had he done so thing wrong? Had he not satisfied her right or not cared about her enough? He wanted to know what changed in the few hours that they had slept together.

"Clarke," the girl in question looked down, not meeting his stern gaze anymore. Bellamy moved to come closer to the blonde. He tilted her chin in and looked into her eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She kissed him back with little enthusiasm.

Bellamy dropped his hand and disjoined their lips, lowing his head. Clarke pressed the bridge of her nose to his forehead. They stayed like that until Clarke stood to get dressed. Bellamy couldn't look at her as he kept his gaze toward the bed where she had been. "Why'd you come?' His voice was barely a whisper, but it was as loud as the thunder outside for them.

"Because . . ." Clarke grabbed her pants off the floor where Bellamy had thrown then in his haste to get to her. She tried to push the thought out of her head. "I heard O say that you wouldn't open your door for anyone. And I figured I needed to say sorry for . . . yelling at you earlier." She buttoned her pants as she went to grab her socks from under his bed.

"Why did you come here, Clarke?" He asked with more force, making her freeze.

"I just told you that O said-"

"The truth." Bellamy looked up to see her eyes glued out the window, watching the rain. He knew she was looking in the direction of where their baby was. He could see tear prickle at her eyes before she looked away, sliding on her boots. "Please Clarke. I need to know why you came to me." His voice was desperate now.

Clarke sighed as she stood, grabbing her shirt, her last item of clothing. "I just . . . wanted to feel so thing again. I didn't want to feel like I was nothing anymore." Her shirt was over her head, her back still to him. She turned with a look of utter sadness I her eyes. "I knew you could make me feel something, even if just for a moment."

She started to leave, going out his door and heading for the front. Bellamy cursed as he grabbed his briefs and slid them on before following her. She was just at the door by the time he grabbed her and spun her around. She looked up at him, confused when he kissed her, hard and with everything he had.

She responded slightly, moving her lips slower then his, without as much passion. His hands cupped her face, keeping her to him. Clarke's arms pathetically wrapped around his middle to hold him for a second before she turned her head to break the kiss. She looked down as he rested their foreheads together. He needed her. He wanted her. He-

"I love you." He breathed out, willing her eyes to seek his out. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Her bottom lip trembled as he repeated those words over and over again. Tears filled her eyes and this time she couldn't hold it back. "I l-lost our- . . . our b-baby," her tears fell like a dam releasing water after a long storm. "I lost h-her and you s-still say that y-you l-love me. Why?"

"Because I can't be me without you, Clarke. It hurst too much to know I lost you both." His own tears were falling and he pulled her face back to see her eyes. They were full of pain and anguish. He almost laughed at seeing emotion in her eyes after such a long time. "Please . . . I've got you back. Don't make me lose you again. Please Clarke. I love you. I love you so much and nothing you do can ever change that."

"B-Bellamy. I don't know w-why you'd want m-me. O-our baby-"

"Wouldn't want us to avoid and stay away from each other. She would want us to be happy, together." Bellamy's tears were turning into sobs fast, and he wasn't afraid for Clarke to see. "She would want us to keep living. She would want us to laugh and smile and have fun. Please . . . stay with me so we can do that. For her."

"Aurora." Clarke looked up at Bellamy's eyes to see a small smile playing on his lips. "If she was going to be a girl I wanted to name her Aurora."

"Really?" He laughed a little as she nodded her blonde curls he kissed her cheek gently, then rested his head on her shoulder while his arms wrapped around her middle as her arms rested under his. He just wanted to stay like that forever, holding her, being held by her. Clarke had buried her head into the crook of his neck, he could feel her tears running down from her eyes, onto his warm skin.

"Don't leave me, Clarke. Please." He whispered into her ear. "I love you."

"I . . . Bellamy . . . I just . . ." She pulled back to look him in the eyes. He thought she was going to reject him again. Going to turn away his love, his promises and him, because it hurt too much. Instead she lowered her gaze before jumping up to kiss him with all her might.

The force of her kiss had sent him tumbling to the floor, Clarke landing on top of him. She sat up and stated to kiss down his chest, before heading back up to his lips and ear. "I love you, Bellamy Blake. I love you too."