Sad Goodbye, Long Goodbye, Final Goodbye

Sister Drama

So, when we started marching onto the field that night, I steeled myself to not let my emotions get the best of me. We made it through the first song and speeches began. During the second speech, Alyssa tapped me.

"Josh keeps looking over here," she whispered.

I turned as nonchalantly as I could and scanned the rows before my eyes fell on his. He was looking right at me. We stared for probably only a few seconds, then he smiled. That smile that turned my world upside down since seventh grade. The smile that made everything brighter and funnier and better every time I saw it. I smiled back and turned away before the tears came. That was the last time I was going to see that smile here at school. And I didn't know when I would see it again. Alyssa squeezed my hand and I gathered myself before rising to sing the final song for the seniors before they were official high school graduates.

As soon as the caps were tossed in the air, it was bedlam. I wanted to hug people, I wanted to see everyone and say congratulations, but suddenly there were parents and siblings and everything was crowded. I hugged Misti and Amber then saw Lance across the rows of chairs and he pointed at me.

"Congrats, freak!" I yelled with a smile.

"Thanks, loser!" he yelled back and it was the most fitting way for us to leave it.

But I kept looking and pushing my way past people as I said hellos and gave hugs. There was only one person I needed to see before it was too late. Several people stopped in front of me to take pictures and I heard my name being called, but I kept looking. Finally, I saw him.

Hold on, I better start at the beginning just in case you don't know the whole story. First, you should understand that I'm kind of an idiot. Secondly, distractions can be a wonderful thing. Finally, I have an alarming talent for overthinking and creating drama, real or imagined. None of this is uncommon for teenagers exactly. I mean, being a teenager is not as trivial as most adults make it out to be. I also know it's probably not as life altering as most teenagers make it out to be, but there is a scary middle ground which is exactly where I seem to be. And I'm not alone.

My name is Bryonna Hampton and I live with my mom and older sister. Misti is two years older than me but only one year ahead me in school, she's a senior and I'm a junior, which leads to major problems. Misti likes her space and that means no involvement for me with the people in her life. When we were younger, it was really bad, but since I moved back from living with my Dad and his family, we get along much better, although I still have to watch my step. You'll see what I mean later.

My mother is a single mom and nurse. That translates to long hours at the hospital in town and her schedule takes her away from home most every night on the graveyard shift. She hates it and I do miss seeing her more, but since entering high school, the freedom of having the house to ourselves at nights has become relished by both Misti and me. Our house has become a meeting place for most of our friends and on some nights, dozens of people that just hear about it and show up. Yes, it is not nice to have secret parties but no one ever gets hurt and with drinking sneaking into the picture, it is much better to be somewhere safe.

This brings me to my latest catastrophe. As I said, we feel we're behaving in the most responsible way we can for doing irresponsible things. Regardless of intent though, things can sometimes spiral out of control. You see, my best friend Josh McClain is also the boy  believe to be the love of my life. Granted, my life is not a long one and the absurdity of feeling so strongly has occurred to me, but not enough to slow down my feelings. In recent months, after the painful break up with my ex-boyfriend Brad, Josh has been my rock. I tried to do the same when he and his girlfriend broke up a while later.