Sad Goodbye, Long Goodbye, Final Goodbye

Unfinished Business

Being mad at Josh is not a good reason for wearing Hamilton's ring. In fact, it is the worst possible reason. Besides, I wasn't even mad at Josh, I was devastated that it appeared he chose his girlfriend over our friendship, but could I really blame him? I hadn't even told Hamilton the whole story with Josh and I honestly was in no rush to share. Not because I wanted to lie or hide something, but because it wasn't worth the headache.

Hamilton would most likely resent Josh and it would be awkward when we did see him and I couldn't risk that. Alden was small, Lake Vista even smaller, and the truth was, Josh would graduate soon and go off to college and I would be here with Hamilton, where I belonged. Hamilton, who treated me like someone special and didn't ever make me feel unwanted or unappreciated. I just needed to get through graduation.

So that is what I told Hamilton later that night when he came over to see me. We were watching a movie and Misti was waiting for Jerri to pick her up. I took the ring off after Rachel saw me wearing it. After the shock wore off, she helped me work through what my next move should be. She agreed it was way too soon to be engaged, but she didn't see anything wrong with a promise ring and I liked the sound of that. Hamilton liked it, too when I suggested it.

"So, you'll wear it?" he asked with his arm around me on the couch.

I was leaning back against his chest and nodded my head. He kissed me on top of my hair and I was about to turn around when Misti came in.

"Wear what?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said. "Is Jerri here?"

"I know when you're hiding something," she warned.

"We were just talking, Misti. It was private," Hamilton spoke up.

Misti's eyes narrowed and she headed out the door. I would pay for that later.

"I wish you hadn't said that," I sighed sitting up at looking at him.

"Why? She wasn't part of our conversation," he replied. "Why are you so afraid of her?"

"It's hard to explain, Hamilton. Misti is very strange when it comes to me. She gets mad easily and tends to blame me if something doesn't go her way."

"It sounds to me like she's jealous. I mean, she almost kept this from happening."

He grabbed my shoulders playfully to pull me close and then me like he was trying to make me understand without words. As usual, when he kissed me like that, all thought went out the window. I gave myself over to passion wanting to forget about Misti and everyone else. I'm not sure why, but I began lying back on the couch and pulling him with me. In one fluid motion, he was on top of me and I was running my fingers through his hair as I reveled in his mouth.

We'd only been dating a couple of months and I didn't want to make the same mistakes I did with Brad and Josh, but I was 17 now, and this was the man who wanted to marry me. He never gave me any reason to doubt his feelings for me and I wanted to show him how much he meant to me. When his hand slid down my stomach to pull my hip closer, a moan escaped from somewhere deep in my throat.

He finally tore his mouth away to draw a ragged breath and look down at me intently.

"I love you." It was the second time he said it.

I put both my hands on his face, staring up at him. "I love you, too."

That was it. He kissed me then softly first, then intensely, and I felt it everywhere. I wrapped my leg around his and moved my hips under him, needing to be closer.

"God, Bree," he whispered and I froze.

I knew we were close to doing something permanent. And I knew in that moment, I couldn't. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to feel him, but I couldn't sleep with him. Not now.