Come by Night 3: Kitsune No Yomeiri

Chapter Six - Unexpected Mischief

*takamakura – Japanese neck cradle for sleeping
*boton benjo – place to do one's privy business

Mitsuaki speaks to the host, who leads us to a tiny room upstairs. My husband waits until we're alone, then wards the shadows with his fox fire, so that I am protected from yōkai. Then he kisses me and bids me to stay put with promises of his imminent return before he leaves me behind.

He has tried to reassure me, but I am still afraid Mitsuaki will go to the Celestial Realm without me. I try to do as he says and sleep, but I can't. I just lay there bored, squiggling against the takamakura, my body tossing this way and that. It's no good. I keep thinking about Tsuki-chan, how alone and afraid she must be.

"Mother is coming, baby," I whisper aloud. I know she cannot hear me, but I send the thought with all my heart and love, hoping it might get through. It did with her father.

I feel like I've been lying there forever when I finally give up on sleep. I sit upright and stare forlornly at the rice screen door. I want Mitsuaki to return more than anything. I am helpless here. I know he's doing what he needs to. He is going into the shadows, where a human must never go lest she wishes to be eaten! I would only jeopardize his efforts to get our daughter back.

I second guess whether I should have insisted on coming. I wonder if it was selfish. I could not bear being alone, waiting for Mitsuaki and hoping nothing horrible happens to him. What if it did, how would I learn of it? 

And yet, here I am again, waiting for Mitsuaki and hoping he'll return safe.  I cannot even pray for him to ease my mind. If he gets caught, he said the kami will jail him and return him to Inari-sama.

Will he disappear from my life as he entered it, vanish like the the phantom he is, and take all I love with him?

I want to scream my frustration. It's not fair! I squeeze my eyes shut, ball up my fists, and scream inside my head instead. When I calm down, I lay down again, and feel almost like I could sleep...but this time I have to pass water and the pressure won't allow me to relax.

With a sigh, I get up. There's no place to go inside the room. I will have to make the trip to the boton benjo. This is not a fancy place and the town is crowded for the festival, so I'm a little nervous. I have no backstory for who I am, no explanation for where I come from and who I'm with.

I am vulnerable without my husband. A part of me resents his freedom. We went from our wedding to a field, and he knows what to do. I envy him. He can go wherever he desires and do as he pleases, and he never has to worry — not even about food or money! I do not know where Mitsuaki came up with the coin for this place, and I am sure I would not like the answer if I learned it. I have a bad feeling he stole it. Of course, he gets away clean. I would be caught if I so much as tried.

What did I expect when I married a fox?

I creep out of my room. The inn is crowded, as is everywhere in this town. But no one bothers me, or pays me any heed. Although I have not seen my reflection, I do not think that I am an attractive woman in Mitsuaki's illusion. That's probably wise. I am less likely to be molested if I look old or disfigured, or somehow unpleasant.

My clothes are plain, the cloth coarse. My hands are those of a woman at least twenty years older than I am, lined and veiny, the nails darkened as if by dye. No one would guess that I am the criminal wife of an outlaw fox, now wanted by the kami's law for stepping outside Mitsuaki's realm. My head rushes at the thought and I feel giddy. Like I can be anyone and get away with anything. Is this how he feels? It's liberating.

I go into the room for conducting one's most private business, swapping my shoes for guest sandals, so that I can leave the filth of the boton benjo where it belongs. The outhouse smells terrible. I am glad I do not have to stay long. Now that I have been to Mitsuaki's world, I can see them, their shadowy outlines lurking in the darkness.

I am not alone.

I see the lashing tongue of an akame, licking the filth from the floor and walls. It grunts as it shuffles around, sniffing. There are other yōkai that aren't so harmless, that molest humans when they are vulnerable in these places. And they're here, too.

"She can see usssss."

A shiver runs up my spine. I don't like the sound of that! It is said those who are cursed to see into the mononoke world are often prey. Once I had been ignorant of such things, save for passing ill feelings when I was alone. Back when I was ordinary...

Mitsuaki shattered that veil between our worlds the night he came to me. I know that not all yōkai are like those in Mitsuaki's realm. Those are kind and deferential to me. These filth dwellers are not my lover's minions.

I do what I need and leave quickly, putting my shoes on and scampering back to my room. The empty corridor ahead is long and narrow, and enshrouded in shadows. The fine hairs rise along my nape. There's nothing else to do but scurry through as quickly as I can.

When I make it to the middle, I am sure it is all in my head! I am nearly there, and this is just an ordinary passage. Soon I will be back —

A palm and fingers close around my ankle. I trip and fall, my palms slapping the floor. I cry out, but no one looks or comes to see what has happened. I look back, and nothing's there. I get on my hands and knees, trying to get to my feet.

Something grabs me from behind and pulls me into the darkness.