ELBINA 2

chapter 16

I didn't know what to do with the gut-wrenching nervousness that swirled through my stomach, it made it difficult to breathe. Even if we were in the outer skirts of the town, it didn't make it any easier. There were still one or two people that passed us by, they would take a second look at us and my breathing would get harder to keep under check. I'm trying to be okay with this, I really am but this reminds me too much of leaving the cottage back in wales and that didn't end up pretty.
We continue walking along the pavement, following the signs for the industrial estate which wasn't far off from the motorway, we'd been following roads ever since the campsite. I much preferred going off in the countryside to this, this was doing nothing good for my heart. "I don't like this."
"You've already mentioned that." Fallen doesn't slow in his step.
I grit my teeth, "Then why are we still doing this?"
"We haven't got a choice." He says, dismissing me
"We could still walk the rest of the way."
"That would take at least another three days walking." He stops, checking side to side and waiting for the truck to pass us before he moves off to cross the road. "We can't do that, the faster we get to this place... maybe we'll be able to get hold of whatever it is they want."
My hands fling up in the air, frustrated because I didn't like taking it day by day. I liked plans where I can control what happens, so I can think of all the alternatives or the things that could go wrong. This system of seeing how it goes just makes my skin itch. "And then what?"
His shoulders shrug, the bag jumping up and down with them so I can see. "I don't know."
"We give it to them?" I say, hopping up onto the pavement at the other side of the road. I glance back and Lucas is still there, keeping his head down and out of the conversation whilst he concentrates on moving himself forward through the small limp he has.
"No!" He shakes his head when he turns it half to me but continues to walk ahead of us. "They'd just kill us." He says it quiet as if I won't hear, but I do.
I let the truck drive by and I shout to him over the sounds of the air brakes going off. "We give it to the police?"
"No!"
"Then what can we do!?" I don't want to think that we have no options, that we're running and hiding with no end in sight because I can't do this forever.
And I know neither can Lucas.
Fallen may have been able to all those years but not me, not Lucas.
Fallen turns to face me, forcing me to halt in my step to stare at him as he shouted in frustration.
"I DON'T KNOW!"
He pauses, a deep sigh falling out his mouth and his hands run over his face, lowering his voice.
"I can't say anything about what we can do because I don't know what's at this farm, I don't know any more than you do at this point. So, can we please," He pleads with me now. "please, just take this one step at a time. I haven't got the mental capacity to wonder about other possibilities when we have enough to deal with at the moment!" I want to argue back so much, to tell him he's wrong, because I really do believe he is.
This certainly isn't the way I would handle things and it's made obvious that Fallen is the leader of us, so he doesn't expect me to be pushing my own thoughts onto him.
I look at Lucas who has caught up with us, staring down at me with that look that says 'give it a rest'. I sigh and nod my head at Fallen, grinding my teeth.
"There's no right way to do any of this Ella, there's too much that we don't know." Lucas mutters to me, allowing Fallen to walk ahead of us.
All I can do is nod, he was right.
Or at least I think he was.
Eventually we come up to a large expanse of concrete, feeling like it's almost a half mile long. At the far end from us is a small café that I can barely make out through the hordes of orderly parked trucks. Fallen gestures us to follow him to the direction of the café sign which is just visible above the tops of the trucks. We pass by the backs of the neverending rows of trucks before we come to the end, the cafe coming into view fully.
It's busy, but quieter than I imagine because most of them are focused on eating and looking at their phones to even begin to care about talking to anyone else.
There's a long counter to the far left, two or so fridges filled with drinks and sandwiches, then the counter to the right of it where a young man stood behind it, chatting to his co-worker.
The whole place is fairly modern and bright, clearly freshly painted with brand new tables and chairs that hadn't picked up any staining or chips in the hard plastic. It was certainly nicer than I was expecting for a truck stop.
Fallen heads straight for the counter, winding his way through the space, nudging people with his large backpack on the way that he earns a few disgruntled mumbles. Lucas and I follow, more careful not to hit any others and bring more attention to us.
"Hey mate." The man looks up when Fallen speaks, landing a hand on the counter between them. "Do you know if anyone's driving further north?"
"No clue, sorry." I read his name tag, Zach, who looks bored with the question and barely even looks up at Fallen. His answer doesn't deter Fallen though who only sounds more hopeful.
"Dumfries way? Come on, you must hear something. We need a lift."
"I'm sorry. Doesn't matter anyway, truckers aren't supposed to give lifts, Company policy." He tells us. I feel someone push past me, a bright neon yellow jacket coming into view and I have to step aside to let him pass.
"I'm heading up Glasgow way." Fallen jolts his head back, looking right at the man whose at least a head taller than me.
Fallen smiles in relief, leaning off the counter now. "You are?"
"Yep. Can give you a lift if you're desperate."
"We're desperate. Can you detour to Dumfries?"
He brings his arms across his chest grumbling a little but Fallen interjects before he can shoot it down.
"We can pay." I keep looking at the man, I can't see his face so I'm a little unsure about accepting a lift off someone we don't know. But after all, Fallen thinks he knows better.
"Alright then." I step back, hitting Lucas' chest this time when he turns and looks at us.
"Whose these ones? They coming with?" He points a finger directly at my face and I zip my jacket up further knowing the remnants of the bruise on my neck stick out like a sore thumb. I feel naked under his scrutiny and I shuffle on my feet when his eyes drag over me from head to toe. He barely glances at Lucas, he's looking at me so hard I scrunch my fist over my zipper tighter till I feel the metal dig into my skin.
I don't think either Fallen or Lucas noticed it and maybe I was being paranoid but nothing was said about the uncomfortable fifteen seconds it took for him to look me over. Instead Fallen only introduced us.
"This is Katie, my sister, and our friend Aaron." He nods at Lucas, turning to me again and holding out a hand.
"Katie. You okay with this?" He's not old by any means, probably mid twenties but it doesn't change the smile on his face, reminding me too much of another smile that I can't pinpoint exactly where I'd seen it before.
I flick my eyes to Fallen who only seems to tell me to not fuck this up and shake his hand, so I do and he grips it hard. I smile politely with a yes, letting out that sucked in breath when he finally lets go, mentioning to Fallen about showing him the truck outside.
We tell him we'll meet him, that we're using the bathroom and we'd be out in a sec.
He walks out with Fallen so Lucas and I turn back, heading for the signed bathrooms through the door at the back. I pushed through it, leading into a hallway, obviously not having seen the lick of new paint like the rest of the café. The walls an off white, stained with some dirt at the bottoms near the flooring. There were two separate individual bathrooms that sat next to each other, both open so we split into our own.
By the time I'm done, Lucas is still not out, and I readjust the backpack on my shoulders letting my heart try to return to normal after that encounter.
I'm leaning against the bathroom door, puffing out my cheeks in nervous boredom. Hands shoved into my pockets, the hallway light a dim white colour that even in the daylight makes it feel like night time. And all I can think about is what that farmer said, now that I have time to think, now that I'm staring at nothing in front of me. I can hear his words over and over again, they're looking for me. They're actually looking for me. And I'm terrified that the farmer might say something, tell them what I said, tell them I decided to run away.
Fuck.
I can't think about this anymore without wanting to cry, images of June and Jake receiving that call. Hearing that I ran off, they'll be hurt. They'll think I hated them or that they did something to upset me. I know I had an argument with Jake, I really hope he knows that's not what happened.
Shit.
I wipe my eyes, removing any wetness.
"How's it going in there?" I call to him through the door, there's a crack in it but thankfully he doesn't notice.
"Do you want a play by play or something?" I snort suddenly, shaking my head when I hear him reply through the door.
There's a pause before I hear him again. "Why does it feel like you're listening too hard right now?"
"I'm not." My eyebrow raises, kicking out a boot in front of me, skimming the floor beneath me.
"Good! Cause it ain't looking pretty."
"Sexy." I chuckle, knocking the back of my head against the door.
Maybe to the outsider, if they knew what we'd been through the past few days. They'd think we were crazy joking around like this, even if it were only a little.
But then, horrible things happen every day and life moves on anyway, so all of this, the shit we've been through, it's just something that's happened.
And what else could we do? I couldn't just give up and we couldn't exactly crawl into bed and cry, even if that's what I desperately want to do.
I don't believe it hasn't affected us, of course it has, but I think we've adapted very quickly to this new normal.
I'm not sure if I should be more scared by that or impressed... probably scared if I'm honest.
I blow out a raspberry, tilting my head to the side resting my cheek on the door, the sounds of a toilet flushing can be heard. I jolt my head up though when I see Fallen rushing towards me, half running down the hallway and I stand up fully.
"Get inside!" I don't even question him, banging on the door.
"Lucas! Let us in now!" The panic in my voice is evident and the door swings open, the minute it does Fallen pushes me in and we're crammed into the small toilet. He slams the door shut behind us, locking the door immediately.
"Oh my god Lucas! Are you okay?" My nose scrunches up when I breathe in, raising a hand to my face.
"I did say." He whispers into my ear and I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips.
"Not the problem right now! Someone's spotted me." Both our heads switch to Fallen's, freezing our movements in fear.
I still question him though, hoping that he's only being paranoid. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure! Him and his mates looked right at me and started to run at me. It's got to be another gang or something,"
"The same thing that happened with Quinn's?"
"I assume so." He pulls off his hat before running a hand through his messy hair, ramming it back on his head when he groans in frustration.
"Do people here have nothing better to do but join a gang?" He says, fist resting on the door as he listens to the outside.
"I think that's precisely why they joined a gang." Lucas quips.
I tilt my head at Lucas with an unimpressed expression before switching to Fallen. "What are we supposed to do now? We can't hide out in this toilet forever..."
Lucas pipes up again. "I mean..." I turn to him, frowning. "We can try."
Fallen and I scoff quietly, "Shut up Lucas."
There's a door shutting on the otherside, making us all fall completely silent. Listening closely to each set of footsteps, I can't tell how many there are but it's got to be a good few.
"They've got to be in there."
All our stares locked onto the door immediately, the footsteps abruptly stop and we just wait in baited breath for anything else.
A sudden bang vibrates the door and reverberates through the room. I jump in my skin and push myself back into Lucas behind me, his hand grips onto my elbow that is pushed into his side.
"Get out before we force you out!" He taunts through the door and this time Lucas becomes frozen in his spot, gripping my arm in a vice grip. I can hear his breaths shudder, shallowing in fear. I glanced back at him in worry, it was such a sudden mood change.
But when he bangs again; I flick my eyes back to the door again, shouting to him before I even really think of it.
It comes out as a sad excuse for a Scottish accent, knowing it sounds ridiculous but it was better than nothing.
"Mate, I'm in the middle of something here!" I shout at them over the door, Fallen looks at me with such a confused frown I almost want to laugh even in this dangerous situation.
"Do ya' think that's gonna work on me?" I'm absolutely shitting myself, but I hope my voice doesn't sound it now.
"Whosever you are, I'm taking a shit so leave me in fucking peace." I pause, sweat building in my palms when I listen closely.
Now Lucas looks at me wide eyed and confused.
Miraculously after a few moments I hear footsteps back off some.
No one says anything until we hear another door open and close, waiting a minute or so more till we're sure there's no other sound coming from the hallway.
"What the hell was that?" He choked out, barely containing his shock.
Fallen interjects. "I don't care. It worked. We need to get to the lorry before Harry drives away."
I shake my head at him. "They'll be waiting not far off; I don't think he believed me all that much."
Fallen lets out a loud breath through his nose, sliding off his bag from his shoulders. The clips clang against my shins in the small space and I only look down at him pulling it open.
"I'll distract them." My skin tingles in anxiety.
"How?"
He doesn't look up. "I'll lead them the other way, you and Lucas head for the lorry. Harry won't wait around forever."
"What about you?" Lucas speaks from beside me, his grip loosening on me.
Fallen pulls out his map, fumbling through the pages till he spreads it out for me.
"There." He points towards a small village, colsworn. He then slides his finger to the outline of some blue near it, a path crosses over a river, presumably a bridge there. "I'll meet you there."
My head shakes. "Fallen-"
"There isn't time to argue about this! I'll meet you there." He pushes the map into my hands, forcing it into my chest so I have to curl my fingers around the pages.
"We can't separate." It's quiet, I don't believe it will change his mind.
"Yes, we can. And if I'm not there by tomorrow morning, leave without me."
My head shakes, biting my lip to stop the wobble. He plants a hand on my arm, squeezing it with a grim smile.
His head turning to Lucas with a knowing look, I almost question it but he's already sliding his bag on and is grabbing the lock.
He turns to give the details about which lorry to go for, pulling out some cash from his pocket and ramming it into Lucas' chest so he has to grab hold of it too. He just looks down at it with a grimace, knowing that this situation is real by the way the money crinkles under his fingers.
"Give it a minute, then run. Okay?" We can't do anything but nod silently.
He gives us one last nod before swiftly unlocking the door and slipping out.
Lucas shoves the money into his pocket, zipping up the pockets as I hold the map in my hand.
"We can't leave him."
"We don't have a choice." He steps up to the door, looking back at me. "Are you ready?"
No, but I don't say that.
I put the map in my bag side pocket, zipping up my jacket more and readjusting my bag on my shoulders.
I give him a nod and it's not a second later that the door opens and we're slipping back out into the hallway and into the cafe again.
I expect there to be chaos and for the entire world to notice the goings on but it's quiet, and no one seems to notice anything.
An occasional eye meets mine as we make our way through and out to the exit, but no one seems phased by the distressed look on my face.
Why are everyone's lives continuing like this isn't happening to us?
It's such a weird feeling. We're insignificant to these people and certainly in the grand scheme of things but thankfully, Lucas takes a hold of my hand to stop me spiraling.
The door to the cafe shuts behind us, Lucas leading us to the large lines of parked lorries. I keep turning my head, looking back at the cafe but no one's follows us. We run between two lorries heading for the next line over, the sides risen high either side of us and blocking off the sun.
"You know, that accent was terrible." My blood runs cold, icy and numbing at my skin.
My head snaps behind me, between two of the lorries is a man leaning up against the lorry, smiling with arms crossed.
"Go!" I push Lucas.
He's still limping, he can't run. He's trying and I keep behind him, my head flitting back just in time to see the man reaching for me.
"You're not getting away this time kid!"
He pulls me to a stop, grabbing my bag and dragging me back. Pushing me straight into the front of a lorry that I trip to the floor as well.
I barely get a leg under me before he kicks me in the stomach, forcing me to fall back into the lorry again winded.
The guy gets slammed into the lorry not a second later, Lucas quickly grabbing my hand to pull me up onto my feet.
"You okay?" He says with worry.
I don't have a chance to respond, in the corner of my eye I can see him lunging for Lucas in retaliation and I quickly punch him hard up into his nose. He staggers back, blood pouring down his face before slumping down onto the ground.
"I am now." I let out in a breath, shaking out my fist.
His eyebrows raised, I swear there's a smile in there too but I grab him and pull him along the rows of lorries.
My eyes scan for the dark blue lorry, passing another two and seeing it further down the line.
"There!" I point to it and I can feel Lucas squeeze my hand as I drag him along with me faster.
I plaster on that fake polite smile the minute that we round another lorry, seeing him still in his large hi-viz jacket. Leaning up against the side of his lorry, but he looks up from his phone when he hears our feet slapping against the tarmac.
"Was 'bout to leave without you." He pockets his phone, crossing his arms when he looks at the both of us.
"We're sorry. Got held up in the line for the bathroom." The lie leaves my lips before I even need to think of it.
He opens up his door, planting a foot on the step. "Where's the other one?"
"He's going to find a different ride." Lucas says.
"Are you sure?" 
My knee shakes in nerves, glancing behind me in case he gets up quicker than I would have liked.
"Definitely, he'll meet us at the other end." Lucas squeezes my hand when he says that as some form of reminder to me.
"Alright then. Hop on in, got to get on the road."
We thank him, running around the front of the lorry before Lucas jumps up followed by me.
I slam the door shut behind, quickly buckling up my seatbelt and trying not to shout at Harry to hurry up. The bags get tucked in the foot space in front of me, and I fumble with the straps as the fear builds.
He finally starts up the lorry, rumbling to life and jostling the seats under me. The radio turns on blasting the newest pop song through the speakers that he laughs awkwardly and turns the volume down half way.
"Excuse that, used to blasting my ears off with the volume!" He chuckles and Lucas smiles back politely, I only stare out of the window looking for him. 
My eyes catch sight of two cars at the far end of the lorry park, they're out of the ordinary in the massive numbers of parked lorries and trucks. As we drive closer to the exit, it means they come more into view and as Harry turns the lorry out of the park, stopping to wait for a gap to drive off. I can see them circling him, four of them gaining on Fallen.
No. No. No. No.
I slap his knee harsh and quick.
"Lucas!" I hiss at him, he quickly looks where I'm looking and his face hardens into worry and fear.
I reach for my seatbelt but Lucas plants a hand over mine and stops me. I go to shout to Harry, to tell him to stop.
I need to help him.
I'm opening my mouth but before I can do it Lucas suddenly leans forward, pressing his lips onto mine. My head hits the seat behind me and I can't help the tears forming in my eyes.
He effectively shuts me up, moving his lips cautiously as a way to distract me. I know why he did it and it does the job because I close my eyes briefly.
I place a hand over the arm that holds my head in place, keeping hold of it when he pulls back slightly to look at me.
"We keep going." He says it quietly to me, tipping his head assuredly and I slowly nod to him in understanding.
I understood that look before, it was obvious what he meant now. 
Fallen had already told him what to do in this event and he was following through with it as told.
I turn my head, zoning in on Fallen who's fighting them off. One by one, but they push him back further and further and before I know it, Harry has pulled out of the lorry park and is moving along the main road, away from Fallen.
He's joking something about me and Lucas that I can't listen to but Lucas laughs politely and quips something back. 
I let out a shuddered low breath, twisting my fingers around Lucas' hand tightly that rests on my lap and leaning my face into his shoulder to hide the falling tears.