ELBINA 2

Chapter 25

"I saw you come out of his room this morning." My head jolts up, my fingers stalling on the bullets I was arranging into the magazines. The metal somehow colder when I hear him say that, reminding myself of last night all over again.
It takes a couple of seconds until I manage to find the words in my throat, cracking when they do. "You did?"
"Yeah." He nods.
I drop my stare back down to the bullets again, filling in the silence with the methodical metal on metal sounds. One after the other into the magazine until it's full.
I'd hoped he'd leave it at that, but he doesn't, he's still looking at me like he expects an explanation.
I shrug. "It's easier to sleep with him there."
And it was, so much easier.
"That's all you did?" This time I look up, right at him as he stares back. This house is too quiet now, even if it were quiet before... knowing that Lucas has gone, the silence is deafening.
"Does it matter what we did?" I gulp, fumbling with another magazine but it takes too many tries to grab it, it makes it obvious that I'm nervous.
He sighs, his gun that he was fixing back together clunking on the table in front of him. Then he crosses his arms, analysing me from across the table, as if the look itself will force me to spill everything. But he doesn't say what I think he will, it shocks me briefly. "You love him?"
"Of course, I do." I say.
He sighs again, as if I'm a stupid kid, stupid for getting emotional about it and letting myself enjoy last night. Probably more than I should have, cause I was right when I said it would be hard to let him go.
I couldn't watch the car drive away, I remember the car tyres moving against the gravel and that was enough for me to know he was gone.
"And what about him? Does he actually feel the same back?" The accusation in his tone bristles the hair at the back of my neck, so I bite back.
"Why are you saying it like that? 'Actually'? Do you think he's faking it or something?"
He shrugs.
"I dunno, is he just scared?"
I snort, shaking my head at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac." He grabs the gun off the table again, picking up another tool from the box on the table. I lean forward, daring him to bad mouth Lucas.
"Does he actually love you?" He pauses again. "Or is he just looking for something that overwhelms the feeling of fear?"
My head shakes immediately, I don't believe him for a second.
Not after everything that had been said last night, so I pose the same question back to him.
"And is that what you thought about you and Paige?" He pauses, frozen in his spot when he hears her name, his hand clenching around the screwdriver even more. After a tense few moments, he finally shakes his head, the words barely a whisper when he responds back to me.
"No, not at all."
"Then trust me when I say, it's the same with us." He leaves it at that, he finally gives in and understands.
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned her, it was still painful for him but it proved my point anyway.
We sit there for a while longer and by the time I've slipped in all the bullets into the magazines, I rise from my seat. Fallen's head following me with a scrutinizing look.
"Where are you going?"
"The beach."
He raises his voice. "We need to leave soon."
"I just need a moment. I've sorted all I need to; I can't sit here and stew until you've finished." I point over at him, I was already starting to feel the fizzle of anxiety in my vessels.
He stares back for a while longer, unsure what else to say until he nods a head at the door behind him. I take off immediately, jogging partly until I'm through and out into the cold foggy morning.
The sun had been up for maybe a half hour but it felt like early morning still, the sun hidden away through the thick cloud.
Freezing spray from the sea didn't make this any easier to run through, my lungs burn as I move in and out of the bushes that scrape along my skin. They feel nice, it makes my brain concentrate on that instead of the ache in my chest.
The ache that only seems to worsen the more I think about Lucas leaving only three hours ago, that hug felt so warm and comforting.
I'm so fucking cold now.
If he knew what was good for him, he'd drive straight home and forget about us. Except, he doesn't know what's good for him.
Otherwise last night wouldn't have happened.
My feet hit the sand, it's wet and hard against my feet now and I can barely see the other end of it with the dense fog lining the ground.
Out to the sea, all there is, is white. Stupid white-washed blankness so the loneliness in my chest hits worse.
You're my best friend.
Fuck.
I'm glad I said it, I am. But he was wrong, it did make today harder, I was losing more of him. I was losing this new ground that we had and I may never know how it would feel between us in the normal world. Above all else, he was my best friend too. He is my best friend.
He'll be fine.
We'll all be fine.
I fall to the ground anyway, my butt hitting the damp sand and I let my head drop into my hands.
When the tears finally fall, the tears I held in for the entire morning since he left, they sting. Burning my eyes and staining my cheeks until it feels like I shouldn't be able to cry anymore.
I stare out at the fog lined sea through my blurry eyes, wiping at them and running a hand over my braids. So tightly braided this morning to stop my hair getting in the way, but my fingers missed the chance to pull at the hair in frustration, so I'm left digging them into the sand beside me now, grasping at the wet sand.
Grains dig into my nail beds and I can feel the water pooling at the bottom of the pit I made. Icy sea water stinging the skin of my fingers and cooling the blood as it rushes up to my body.
He had to be okay.
He'd be halfway there by now; if he hadn't been spotted that is.
It wasn't fair.
We'd only just –
Fallen told me not to get into this, it felt like an eternity ago but he told me and look where I am now. Crying when I shouldn't be, freezing half to death to numb this stupid painful heart.
He told me.
Clearly I don't know any better either, especially since I don't regret it. Not one bit and I hope it's the same for Lucas too.
My head jolts up, eyes widening.
It was so quiet but it doesn't mean I didn't hear it.
I slowly turn my body, towards the high bank behind me.
It was coming from behind it, just beyond it.
Chest constricting I continued to listen, listen so hard that I stop breathing until I widen my eyes when I hear the sound.
A very distinctive sound that doesn't belong.
It doesn't belong at all.
***************
(LUCAS POV)
I'm in love with you.
I could hear that on repeat.
And I had been, for the past hour, I'd heard it come out of her mouth repeatedly.
Over and over again, just as sweet as the first time.
Even if my eyes strained against the still dark morning, they were still imagining Ella.
My hands clench further around the wheel, the heating's on so my jacket comes off and sits beside me on the chair. Along with the black hard-drive, sitting so innocent despite what was on it.
It was going easy enough, the traffic was dead and I don't think I'd seen a single car since passing through Dumfries. It gave me enough time to go over last night, again and again, wishing I was with her right now but I try to remind myself that I'll see her again soon. Once I've done this, we'll all be able to go home.
I had to believe that, otherwise what other hope did we have?
The sky was only starting to turn a dark blue, the clouds heavy in the sky and falling in front of me with the fog making it more difficult to drive along the road. Even from here the ice glistens off the road surface against the car's headlights and I look in the rear-view mirror again.
There's no one there, which I expected.
Maybe I should speed up? I had to get there as soon as I could, but I also didn't want to crash either with the ungritted road surface.
I clench my hands around the wheel again, thinking of how I left not long ago.
Thinking of the catch in her throat when I squeezed a little harder around her, I really didn't want to let her go. But this was the best chance we had, I didn't want to hide away forever and with how the previous weeks had gone, hiding didn't seem to be a viable option.
Gerald better help us, I'd make him help us if it's the last thing I do.
I manoevre another corner, it's so windy and dark.
What is that?
I squint my eyes, the beams already on.
It's a car.
Parked?
Out here?
I edge out to overtake it, checking my rearview mirror just in case.
"SHIT!"
The tyres screech loudly, my hands slip against the wheel from the sheer pull as the car skids along the road.
With the car finally at a halt, my head jolting painfully from the force, I can see the car a few metres from me. Pulled out into the middle of the road, blocking my exit.
"What the hell?"
I can feel my heart thumping against my ribcage, my heavy breaths barely able to keep up. My heads getting lightheaded too because I know this is wrong.
It's them.
They've found me.
Without thinking, and hearing the sounds of doors opening I shove the hard-drive into the glove compartment. Throwing as much shit in after it to cover it up, my eyes flick upwards, watching them as someone jumps out of the car.
I need to get out of here!
Jammed into reverse, I ignore their shouts, the sounds of the car whirring away beneath me as I slam down on the accelerator.
"Stop him!"
The car ahead wheels spin, squealing against the tarmac.
It's not a second later that it's coming hurtling towards me, why won't this car go faster!
I keep looking behind me and then ahead, I can see their determined face staring right back at me.
Until suddenly he drops back, slowing down.
"What is he -"
I gasp in a breath, what happened?
I was -
My neck -
Holy shit it hurts.
What happened?
It's dark outside, I was driving.
I was -
A door slams shut, it's him.
Someone behind him is running along the road too.
I shake my head, get out of here Lucas!
I'm in reverse, get it in first gear Lucas!
Why is this so difficult!
GO!
He's at my door now, pulling it open.
I slam down on the accelerator again but nothing, it's spinning and squealing at me but I'm not moving.
WHY WON'T YOU GO!
"Time to get out." He shouts at me, grabbing at my collar.
I try to push them off me, ripping his hand off my top trying again to drive away but nothing.
His fist knocks me over the head quickly, forcing my eyes to roll back, fighting against the blinding flash across my skull whilst they undo my belt and drag me out till I hit the ground.
I manage to get my feet under me, pushing them off and slamming my own knuckles into one of them, then the other. But it doesn't do much, they only step back once from the blow and then they're hitting me again.
Hitting me over and over until my knees hit the ground and I have to catch myself from hitting the floor.
I slam back against the tarmac, my shoulder blades grating along the ground beneath me. Blood gushes out of my nose from the knee he rammed into it, it's throbbing and pulsing as the red flows out.
I cough on the blood, rolling to try and get my hands on the ground to push myself up but all that happens is another kick to my gut again.
"Keep him down, I'll check the car." I can barely hear him through the rush of blood in my ears, throbbing loudly. I'm pulled around till my chin stings against the tarmac and he's holding me down against the cold and icy ground.
If I tilt my head to the side I can see him pulling open more of the doors, searching through the back and the boot.
I shout in frustration, they can't take it.
They can't take it.
They're counting on me, I place my palms on the ground and throw my back into his chest, trying to get him off.
"Stop moving!" He grunts, digging a knee between my shoulder blades until I can't move a muscle and my breathing is harder. I hit the ground again, his hand fisting a handful of my hair so tight I'm sure he's pulling sections out.
"What is this?" I hear him talking to himself by the car.
My breath hitches when the barrel of a gun is pressed into the back of my neck, pushing down.
My nostrils flare in fury, this can't happen.
"Nothing! Now leave us the alone!" I'm not sure if he's seen them, I fucking hope he's not seen them.
He sighs, I can hear him slam shut a door and his footsteps coming closer to us. "That answers my next question. So then Lucas... Where exactly are they?" His feet scuff against the ground near my face and I blink my eyes from the flicks of grit that are picked up when he walks closer.
"I don't know." I grunt out, it's all I can do.
But this is too familiar, so familiar that if I close my eyes... I can see Halley's terrified eyes all over again.
"Yes you do. Now." He kicks me in the side. "Where." I jolt from another kick. "Are." My side is screaming at me in agony. "They."
I cough up nothing, straining my diaphragm.
Blood dribbles from my nose still, the metallic taste strong in my mouth. "I don't know."
This can't be happening again...
I won't let them know, they've already clocked in on the rough area.
The important thing is me getting in that car and driving as fast as I can.
I don't want to think about what happens if I don't.
They're off me so the next kick throws me over, rolling onto my back.
I clench my hand over my ribs, trying to ease the pain ebbing from it.
My breaths swirl bright white above me in the cold morning and I scramble up when he grabs my jumper at the shoulders.
Pushing me into the side of the car with such force I nearly bounce right off it again to the ground.
"We don't need you, Nathaniel would prefer you alive of course, but it wouldn't bother him if we were forced to kill you." It doesn't take two seconds before he has a gun in his hands, raising it up and aiming it right at me. He pauses and with the increasing morning light, I can see him smiling.
"Whether we need to do that is up to you." The gun raises a little more, inching closer to me.
My head shakes on instinct, I'm thinking of everything Fallen spoke to me about. Except we didn't get enough chance to properly practice, to know fully what to do in this situation. "You don't."
He chuckles, tilting his head to the other with amusement. "We don't?"
He steps forward, gun in hand and pointing inches from my face. "And why is that?" I step further into the car behind. "What information do you know that we don't already have? We know where you got the car, a quick search for the registered owner didn't take two seconds. I'm sure it wouldn't take us long to find Elbina and Fallen, not many places to hide around those parts."
"You'd be surprised." Fuck sake, why am I baiting him?
He lets out a half laugh, snickering to his partner. "Would we?"
His head turns to me and the gun is inches from my face now. "I think you're just talking shit" shaking his head. "And I'm not bothered about keeping you alive. After all... Accidents happen."
Think.
Think!
His finger moves to the trigger, it's going to happen whether I like it or not.
I dip my shoulder, grabbing the barrel of the gun so quick he doesn't have time to pull it from my grasp. It goes off and the ricochet jolts our arms but I jam a hand into the crook of his elbow whilst forcing his hand with the gun back, bending his hand and smacking the gun into his face.
He steps back, blood flowing from his nose. I smash it into his face again and I throw a fist in there as well.
I knee him in the gut and he falls to the ground easily, the gun now in my possession.
He grabs at my ankle on the way down but I rip it from his grasp, kicking him in the face as hard as I can.
He jumps and settles onto the road, his hands falling limp.
"You little fucker." The other growls in front of me.
I step over him quickly, swinging the gun towards his face, he dodges it.
He grabs the gun from my hand, I grab the handle, pulling back and bringing my boot into his stomach. Kicking him back and he lets go, falling back.
He catches himself and I drop the gun so I have both my hands free.
His eyes flick over to it on the ground but I don't give him a chance to grab it because I'm smacking him over and over again, blood stains my knuckles, a mix of both mine and his.
I can't feel guilty.
It's him or me. I know that.
He keeps stepping back away from me till he hits their car, I throw a fist at his face but he ducks and I shout in pain when I crack the window.
Something broke in my hand, it crunched loudly and before I knew it I'm doubling over from the knee in my gut.
We're both ragged, staggering on our feet from the exertion and the adrenaline, he wraps his arms around my waist, throwing us to the floor.
My head hits the ground heavy and it takes me a second to get my head straight, my shoulder blades grating on the stones.
I plant a hand into his jaw, pushing him back with all the strength I have, but he has the advantage of gravity on his side. He pulls my thumb back hard, effectively removing my grip before he slams my head into the ground with a punch.
His hips are over mine so I plant my feet and throw mine up, twisting him over when I grab at his jacket.
"You're done!" He screams at me from the ground, I'm breathing heavy, blood dripping from my nose onto his cheeks. My eyes swelling, the skin too tight and stinging like hell.
"Why are you doing this!?" I shout, spewing red onto his face below. He doesn't say anything, his head jolts to the side briefly before looking back at me. Sweat sheening on his skin, mixing in with the blood and the dirt. It creates a disgusting swirl of colours, textured over his reddened skin.
I grab at his jacket, his hands grasp onto my upper arms when I lift him up, smashing him back down onto the ground as I shout again.
"WHY!?"
My knuckle stings when it clips against his tooth, he wriggles under me, I sit down heavier so he can't get up.
My head flits to the side when I see his hand fly out sidewards, so quick I wasn't sure what he had in his hand until he started turning it to me.
I grab at the barrel of the gun, it's short and hard to grasp onto but it juts into my palms heavily when I push it back and upwards towards him.
He plants another hand on top of mine, his other hovering over the trigger and he's pushing with all he's got to aim it back towards me. Now it sits between the both of us, teetering back and forth in each direction threatening to go off like some form of russian roulette.
I'm thinking of Dad.
I have to get through this.
I push harder.
But he pushes back just as hard and now I have to cope with his knees rising up and hitting me, trying to buck his hips against me. But he's also concentrating on the gun as well so we're evenly matched.
It's a battle of will power.
Tears spring from my eyelids before I have a chance to stop them, frustrated and sad tears that come slowly as I push down harder.
Cause I know it's either gonna be me or it's gonna be him.
I'm not ready for either.
I want to see Dad again. I want to see how good our future, my future could be.
Cause I haven't had it fucking easy!
I push harder. Tears springing further from my eyes and spilling out onto my cheeks, I'm choking on them and the guy beneath me is still relentlessly staring and pushing back just as much.
In this shit covered world I need to protect my family; I need to survive.
My head keeps flitting through images, flashing through my head so fast but I know exactly what's happening in each one.
Ella being strangled and watching the life drain from her, under the hands of that sick fucking asshole.
Then it flits to Fallen being shot in the head, the sudden and loud thud he made when he hit the floor, because I saw it too. Watching him push Ella back down the hill towards me, whilst I hid away like a coward.
I'm not a fucking coward!
Then my brain hits images of my Dad, or more Mitch, because it's not thinking about the good in him. It's reverting to the memories, his head in my lap, his vomit staining my trousers whilst I repeat over and over again for him to wake up. But he never woke up, not till three years ago.
I've only learned what my dad should have been during my childhood!
I waited nearly eighteen years for him to wake up.
And I'm not done meeting him.
WAKE UP!
It's like my brain only just noticed that the gun is closer to me than him. Through the flashbacks, I've let it slip.
I push down with all my weight, this can't happen!
THIS CAN'T –
BANG