Celia had been watching Fareedah from afar for a long time, not knowing how to approach her. Until, she finally decides to, only to come to the realization that, there is a lot more to Fareedah than she had been noticing from afar.
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I couldn't bring myself to get over the hurt of being rejected by her, but I also couldn't bring myself to still going to meet her. She had outrightly begged me to stay away from her, and I felt the really strong urge to give that to her.
It had been a week since I had last seen her. I felt so ripped and torn, but there was nothing I could do. So, I tried to start working towards getting over her. Even, thinking about it, us together was sort of impossible. What was I even thinking?
I sighed, dropping the spoon I was holding. I was at shop 2001, with my squatter and childhood friend - Inoma. We had decided to eat out, since we had been indoor all day, and there was also no light to cook.
"Talk to me naw, Cee. What is it that is bothering you?" Inoma asked me for almost the umpteenth time. She had been bothered, asking me since the day I had busted into the room and went straight to bed, but my answer still remained the same.
"Nothing, Inoma."
She frowned, dropping her fork down. "You have been saying the same thing for almost a week now Cee. The same damn answer, but you aren't getting better in any way. I see how you try to smile and still crack jokes like your old self, but Cee I've known you since we were in the womb, I know when something isn't clicking. So, talk to me."
Her words sank in, touching everywhere within me. Inoma was someone I could trust, talk to, but I didn't know if coming out to her - or even anyone - was a smart idea, so I shook my head. "You won't understand."
Inoma sighed, throwing her hands up. "I won't understand kwa? How? Isn't it the same brain that God gave to us ehn?" she sighed, letting her shoulders fall. "If it is something that you're scared of me judging you for, just know I won't. I will always try to support you no matter what."
There she went again, answering questions I had in my mind. She always did that, sink into something that I never let out, even if not hitting it on the head. But, she was often close. So, I sighed, deciding to let her know. My heart was beating, beating like it was going to burst out of my chest. "Are you sure you won't judge me?" I asked for more assurance, hoping she was going to tell me not to bother, so I don't have to let it out to her.
But, she nodded, crossing her arms across her chest. "I've never, so why start now?" she asked, frowning a bit.
I nodded, letting my head fall down to her plate of spaghetti as I tried to keep calm, not letting my chaosed inside get out. "I… Err… I-"
"Talk naw," she cut me off in impatience.
"Well, it's not an easy thing to say," I replied her, frowning a bit and looking away, beginning to rethink telling her at all.
"I'm not saying it is easy, it's just that… Well, you know how my curiosity gets me?"
I nodded, recalling her amebo (pokenoseing) series and how they've almost gotten her in numerous troubles and terrible situations. But, she keeps getting saved. I smiled, cooling off a bit and coming to terms with it that, I would have to tell her sooner or later. I sighed, then slouched. "I kind of erm…" - I cleared my throat - "...kind of like girls."
