𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (𝙆. 𝙏𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙤 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎𝙏)

VI-Just one last time

-Y/ns Graduation day-

Kuroo and the rest of Y/ns family went to see her graduate.

It was the only appropriate time to ask for all of them to come, it was her graduation.

Sadly, her uncle couldn't make it because he was too busy.

"Say cheese!" the photographer shouted and Y/n was forced to smile, Kuroo laughing at her face that still had the expression of being shocked.

"Something funny, rooster?" she said,  sticking her tongue out.

"Yes indeed, grumpy." he answered with a sly smirk.

"Did you grow taller again?" he asked, putting his hand above her head and patting it.

"Even if I did, you'd still call me c-"

"Shortie." Kuroo finished her sentence.

He felt Y/n glare at him like a child who asked to have ice cream for dinner but was refused.

...

Y/n never told Kuroo about what she saw, she thought it would just start another fight.

Kuroo laid in his bed, cuddling Y/n.

"Oi, Tetsu." Y/n suddenly said.

"Yes, my grumpy dwarf?" He answered with a teasing tone, earning a sigh from Y/n.

"Can I be the big spoon?" she asked with a light blush across her cheeks.

Kuroo laughed and nodded, shifting his position near Y/n's neck and chest.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face near her neck.

Y/n put her left arm under Kuroo's head while her hand from the same side played with his messy hair, her right hand touching his neck.

Kuroo fell asleep shortly after.

"Are we ever gonna tell them? I already grad-" Y/n stopped talking as she sees her boyfriend sleeping in her arms.

She hugged him a little tighter, appreciating the moment and etching the memory into her mind.

She wanted to hold him forever.

But she can't do that. Nothing lasts forever and she knew that.

There's always a cycle.

She viewed her relationships and friendships the same way she viewed the universe.

It'll start and after a long time it will eventually disappear and end.

So part of her wishes to prove that the universes' cycle will start again, because maybe that would mean hers can too.

She loved being with Kuroo, it made her feel happy and complete.

She suddenly remembers what happened on Kuroo's birthday.

I wish you looked at me like that.

She remembers his eyes looking at her sister dearly,

Will you look at me like that?

Imagining what it must feel like to have someone look at her with such look in their eyes,

Please look at me like that again.

She closed her eyes, trying to stop the thoughts that did nothing but hurt her.

She wanted to cherish this night forever, Kuroo's warmth, the way he fit perfectly around her arms.

The thought of letting him go was something she would like to forget.

Y/n knew that the night she lets him go will be the coldest she'll ever experience.

Will you leave me like all the others did, Tetsu?

Or will you choose me unlike all of them?

She closed her eyes, trying to contain the tears.

Is it selfish of me to hold on?

Part of her knew it was.

I know you love her... and I know she loves you back.

But I don't wanna let you go.

So perhaps I am being selfish.

Can I please be selfish for once?

She wanted to... but she couldn't.

Not with him.

Kuroo deserved happiness, and she wanted him to be happy.

But she knew that "happy" isn't with her, and it was never gonna be with her.

But part of her can't help but ask...

How come it's always S/n who gets picked?

Why is it always S/n who gets put first?

What does S/n have that she doesn't?

Is she that hard to love?

She hugged Kuroo tighter as her tears finally fell. She kept quiet, just like she always does when she cried. She felt that it was better to be angry at her sister than to cry herself to sleep every night.

What could be so wrong with me that everyone leaves the second they meet her?

"Tetsu, I know you're sleeping and you can't hear me right now." she said as she opens her mouth while her eyes remained closed.

"Y'know, I thought you would be the one to stay with me." she whispered softly.

"Sometimes I wonder how the hell you put up with me." she questions and laughs bitterly.

"But I'd like to thank you for doing so."

You're my safe haven, Kuroo Tetsuruo.

But she wasn't his.

"It's unavoidable. I kind of knew it would happen eventually." she spoke as she caressed his cheeks gentle enough to not wake him.

"I knew at some point you'd fall in love with her, they all did."

"Maybe I did too, just for a moment. Maybe in that moment I cherished her more than myself like all of you."

"But that was before it started to hurt, Tetsu." she sounded like she was explaining it to him even though he was fast asleep.

"I had to let go... I had to let go so I'd be fine."

She stared at his face, observing his angelic features before muttering the words she never thought of saying.

"So I'll let you go too, Tetsu." her tears began to fall like drops of rain during a storm, it felt as if lightning had just hit her body.

"But this time it would be for you."

"I want to see you happy, Kuroo. I want to see you smile the happiest way you can. I want you to smile the way you did when you were with her because we both know you look a lot happier than you were with me."

It hurts her to know that she won't be the one he holds during cold nights anymore.

It hurts her to know that she won't be the one to discuss such complicated topics with him.

And it hurts her to know that never again will she hold someone in her arms except herself.

Her whole body hurts, and it began to feel cold.

But Kuroo's warmth comforted her.

"So, Kuroo..."

"Let me hold you for the last time."