sounds of a whale → junhao

十一

minghao had never seen the ocean. but the ocean was not about seeing only. it was about hearing, tasting, and the various textures that the young man could feel if jun was not careful enough. minghao had been forced to wear a headband on his eyes, earphones on playing piano music, his boyfriend had even thought of going as far as blocking his nose, but ended up believing that he might not recognize the smells of the coast. they were walking hand in hand, jun pulling minghao when the road was too abruptly going up, the little one surprisingly calm and confident. avoiding the beaches were too many people would trouble their intimacy, jun had chosen a more isolated place, a one of kind point of a view but still not really visited because too high for all comers.

when their walk ended, jun moved apart from minghao looking in his bag for a bottle of water before the other one let out a worried whine, raising his hand in the void to find back jun's. the latter smiled, touched, and his heart beating fast and put his lips on minghao's before slowly taking off his earphones and his headband. minghao was not comfortable, and let him do as he embraced his lover, like he was trying to be reassured, answering his chaste kiss. free of his shackles, he struggled to move apart from jun who did not let him go, simply turning to face the horizon, his muscled arms tied around minghao's waist and his chin on his shoulder.

mighao saw the ocean.

he first had his breath cut off, his legs almost letting him go, fortunately, hold by jun who tightens his hold around his waist. a wheeze came out of his jaw, and he ended up putting his hands on his mouth. jun felt the burning tears running on his own cheeks, even if they were not his, he had expected a shock, the fear was quick to turn his stomach.

"minghao?"

let without an answer, jun straighten up to watch him, and the strength of what he saw in the eyes of his lover hit him like a punch. minghao looked like the one who just had a vision, a waking dream, the one that turns crazy, that is possessed. his eyes were wide opened, letting a flood of tears on his cheeks, suddenly pale like a cadaver, and his hands tightened fists, his nails scratching his face.

"minghao, what's going on?"

afraid, jun made him turn to face him, embracing him like he was about to protect him from he had no idea what kind of danger, probably from everything. he felt minghao letting him do, without giving up his fixation, dived in the sea like a shipwrecked. after what seemed to be an eternity, jun felt his tiny hands grabbing his coat on his back and on his shoulders, and a sob louder than ever was heard above the waves.

"minghao... hey, it's going to be okay... minghao, I love you."

he felt the latter hiding his nose on his neck, inhaling as loud as possible like he was trying to drawn in his perfume and forget the world.

"It was you... It was you over there."

"What?"

"It was you that I saved."

if jun had the feeling that his body was reacting to his words like it was knowing better than his mind of what was going on, he stayed there, his arms dangling, to this inexplicable statement.

"From what did you save me... Yes, without you I'd have probably killed myself but what is-"

"From the sinking jun. I remember now. You were the one I carried on my back to bring you home. It's you who cried for me when I died."

jun crumbled when he finally remembered. he tried to close his eyes to not see the blood in his memories, he forgot if it was him or minghao who was holding to the other to not fall. his only anchor point to reality was the taste for minghao's skin, salted by the tears when he put his face on his neck, exactly reflect, like the yin and the yang, of minghao's position.

"Sorry... thank you for everything..."

"Sorry..."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Above everything."