Little Misunderstanding

Regret

Zhao was two years junior then Shen in their college days. They never actually talk back then. Zhao always watched Shen from afar and admire his beauty. How a guy can be more beautiful than girls. All the people called Shen a nerd or bookworm. Where Zhao found him attractive. He tried to find out about his sexuality. But dating was not Shen's subject. He never dated. Not a guy, nor a girl. He didn't have that much friend. Zhao thought Shen much be straight. Zhao wanted to be Shen's boyfriend, lover. Zhao never got the courage to ask Shen. The fear of rejection was always there. He stopped dating even flirting with others. Maybe it sounds foolish, each and every time Zhao with someone, it felt like being a cheat. But how could he cheat on Shen's back when they don't have a relationship! They didn't even share a conversation. Shen never actually saw Zhao... to Shen, Zhao has been just a handsome, energetic junior who was good at everything. Study, sports, any program, any occasion Zhao was everywhere like the shining star. And him as ordinary as he was who should not dream about a star.

After completing his graduation Zhao joined this university as a teacher and found Shen as his colleague. The family of Zhao wasn't happy about his profession. They wish Zhao to be with them. Zhao has never lived without his family before. Living without his family, wake up without the voice of his mother, taking a job on his own, and living far from his family was painful and adventurous. But he wanted to be free, take the pain and uncertainty to taste the freedom. It's not that he was caged, he was free on his courtyard and flying in the sky is always the dream of a dreamcatcher.

As it is said, we are not birds but human. As we need a sky, we need a home too. A small sweet home that everyone curves for. Zhao never knows that he is such a homesick person so when Shen asked him for a shared flat with Shen, he fast got dumbstruck. He was more than happy and the charisma of Zhao made them friend in no time. Maybe not boyfriend, but a friend is not a bad move. Gradually they start to share more. Their two-bedroom apartment felt like home.

As an orphan Shen always wanted a family, though Zhao never showed any interest in Shen still he felt home when Zhao was there. Shen tried to accept Zhao as a junior, younger brother, but somewhere in his heart he couldn't accept the fact. He didn't know exactly when he falls for Zhao, and yes, he falls so hard. He thought someday he would express his feelings. May be Zhao is going to reject him, make fun about him, worse... will hate him. But he wanted to confess. Whenever the confession lead them, he will go with the flow. Now today everything fell apart. His little happiness would go away even before he could grab it. Zhao might date with the girl. Shen felt jealousy even heartbroken.

When Shen back to the flat with his broken heart it was already dark. He opened the door and found a Pitch black living room. All the curtains are closed that give no chance to the street light to enter the room. Normally Zhao returns home by this time. But today is definitely not a normal day. At least not for them. We all know the human mind is the most complicated thing. The first thought that end up in Shen's mind is 'Zhao going out for a date with that girl'. He even doesn't mind sending a text. He directly went to his room left the living room dark thinking everything and actually nothing on his mind. When he got back after a cold shower thirty minutes already passed, he heard some kind of sobbing sound. What was it? Shen just switched on the light, fast he really found nothing, but then he found something... someone at the hidden corner of the couch! It was Zhao! Even form when he was here? Zhao Still was in his previous outfit. The outfit itself was a little messy, but still gorgeous, where Zhao was in a real mess. His eyes were swollen from too much crying. Now he was in a deja vu state, head low, knees to his chest. He seems afraid, afraid of everything. Is it even Zhao? The charismatic and energetic Zhao, who can enlighten any gloomy moment like magic.

Shen felt confused. He didn't know what to do. Shen lifted Zhao up and sat him down on the couch, hug him so dearly that hug promise warmth and security.

"It's ok, it will be alright."

"She doesn't love me. She has never loved me again. She never forgives me." The salty droplet form Zhao's eyes never stop. "Do you know when we were young our parents told us not to talk to the strangers? But then suddenly they told her to marry a stranger. How could they do that to her? I told her not to marry that giant gorilla. I encouraged her to left home. She believed in me, she trusted me. But when she finally made the escape I got confused. She needed my support, she needs me at her side and what have I done? I abandoned her. Her family, my family all made me confused. I was a coward." Zhao pause for a second, then added, "It's ok. I don't deserve forgiveness."

"She must forgive you. You just need to be honest and confident about your love."

"You don't know her. She has the kindest heart. But when she decides anything she never let go her decision no matter what."

"Didn't she love once?"

"But I did wrong. I failed to protect her."

"It seems she is a strong lady. She doesn't need your protection. What she needs is your love and care. Try hard to grab her happiness along with yours. She will forgive you."

"You sure? Ha?"

"I have faith in you." This word somehow managed to make some magic.

"Thank you, Xiao Wei." Zhao gave a quick kiss on Shen's cheek, giggling like an innocent little kid. "I need to take a bath." He headed to his room.

When the soul reaper came and reap someone's soul was it felt the same? Shen asked almighty. People believe whom decides our fate.

When Zhao came out of his room, he was as gorgeous as always. The old, and authentic Zhao Yunlan. Shen was cutting vegetables. He looked at Zhao, who was about to go out.

"Do you need something for dinner? I am going to the nearby market."

"No. Come fast... and drive slowly."

"Fast and slow. How would I manage to do the two opposite things at the same time?" Zhao always loved to tease Shen.