Just Friends? - Stan x Kyle

six

stans pov

i wake up, kyle still hasn't seen my message yet. i hope he does take the time and consideration to actually take the day off so we can talk. i didn't mean for any of this to happen.

i am confused. i don't know what to do. i feel something deep inside for kyle but i can't explain it, i just don't want to be gay. i don't want the hate from it all.

i'm scared.

~~

i make it down to the park, a little while back i sent another text to kyle saying if he wanted to meet me then i'd be down at the park. i don't know if he will skip honestly. he probably hates me by now.

i go to sit on a nearby bench in the park and i look at my phone. he's seen my message? why couldn't he have responded?? i sigh.

suddenly i hear footsteps come by, the snow slushing and making that crunch! noise. i look over to see kyle, walking towards me with a not so happy look on his face.

"you came." i said, kinda excited. i tone it down because i know he isn't happy with me. "yeah. i want to hear what you have to say for yourself." kyle says, blankly.

his eyes look swollen, as if he's been crying. my eyes dart all over his face. "what're you looking at?" "nothing!" i say defending myself. it then goes to silence. i struggle to come out with any words.

"what is it that you have to say stan? i don't have all day?" a snarl comes out of kyles mouth. he's not happy to be here. "i-" i take a deep breath to think exactly what i'm going to say and how i'm going to say it.

"kyle, i'm sorry. i know that isn't exactly what you want to hear right now but i need you to know i am. i did you wrong by not coming to school but in all seriousness- i am scared. scared of, people seeing me this way. i am terrified of who i am becoming and i should know i'm not gay but i am feeling something with you kyle. i really am and it terrifies me."

i take a short breath. finishing up my sentence. i cant read kyles face, it looks expressionless. goddamnit.

"did you even like the kiss stan?"

"huh?" i say.

"i said, did you like the kiss?" kyle says, sharply. "well of course i did, i kissed you back didn't i?" i can see that kyle's expression turns into anger.

"then why the hell are you so scared stan?" "because i've made fun of gays and now i'm becoming one! also i can't handle judgement from our friends!" i shout, he should know what i'm feeling right now, why doesn't he?

kyle steps forward and put a hand on his chest. "stan, you shouldn't care what other people think, what matters is what you feel and i know you feel something for me so why can't you come to terms with that and just be with me?"

my eyes widen. i don't know what to do or think. i feel something for kyle but i definitely can't show it. the judgement would be too much to handle. i want to stay with wendy.

"kyle i-" "i know you can't handle judgement stan." he took the words right out of my mouth. "i know it's difficult but we can try. it can be private."

kyle steps closer towards me. i feel so pressured. i don't even know what's right or wrong anymore. i just know that-

1. being gay scared me
2. i felt something deeply for kyle
3. i still love wendy

kyle steps closer. "stan, you've pissed me off lately but i have to know, do you want me? at all? or is it a game? a trick? out of pity even?" i can see kyle's expressions have softened, he's now sad.

"i do like you kyle, but i don't know what's right or wrong anymore." i say. his face drops and kyle turns away, he walks off. oh no, what have i done.

i don't want our friendship to be over, not yet. please not yet. it can't be done over some kiss.

i run towards him and pounce on him, us both falling to the ground, me on top of him. "stan! what the hell?!" kyle says, trying to move out of my grip.

i give him a soft kiss. one that relaxes him, i release the kiss almost too immediately. "i refuse for our friendship to end like this. if you want a short answer, i want to be with you. i just don't know how i am going to do that yet kyle. it's difficult."

"then let's figure it out together stan. you and me."

"you and me?" i smile, maybe this is a chance to figure out my own sexuality and face what comes my way with no problems.

"also kyle.." "yeah?" i look down at him fully, still pinning him. "i'm sorry for what i said to you if i ever hurt you the other day. it wasn't okay at all and i wanted to clear it up with you."

he smiles slightly. "it's okay stan, i understand?" i give him a confused look, "you do?" i question. "yeah, you were scared so you obviously acted out for a valid reason."

i sigh, "my words were still unnecessary so therefore i'm sorry and i don't mean it. we will overcome this together somehow."

"we sure will" we both get up and walk to kyles house.

A/N
hello! sorry for not updating as quickly. i've been so unmotivated with writing and have had writers block! please understand! i hope you like the new chapter <3