Tuck Sinn

17

They stood in the doorway and looked at eachother sadly.

"Hi, Becky." Tom's voice was light and soft, he knew, but it sounded so loud in his head and in this morning air. He looked quickly behind him. The sun was coming through.

"Come here. Follow me a minute?" Tom asked, turning and stepping away from her house towards the street. He looked back at Becky to see if she would follow and saw her sigh and look around, pull her arms around her chest. She tugged her nightgown closer to her skin. Then she, with her light and quick steps, followed him. A slight slow hopeful smile came to the edges of Tom's mouth. He continued walking until he was in the middle of the dirt road, staring east. Becky stood a few feet behind him.

"Did Amy talk to you, yet?" He asked. He kept staring towards the sky with its sun, too scared to look at her again. His heart vibrated, shuddering through him. Heat was in his face and his hands.

"Yes, she did."

"What did she say?" Tom asked. His heart beat faster, still.

"That what she said before wasn't true." Becky said, and Tom closed his eyes, head tilting up. Thank goodness Amy helped him. Tom felt a wash of white blue, of sun, come over him. "But..." Becky sighed. Tom opened his eyes, saw the sun, and turned towards her. The light spun off the edges of her tangled hair, glowing like an aura and a halo around her. "You two still did kiss, though." She said. Tom stepped towards her, shook his head.

"She kissed me. I didn't even know it was happening until it was over." He said. Becky looked up a moment. "I swear it, Becky." His eyes, his expressions, the turn of his body, all pleaded with her.

"Well..." She took one of her arms and smoothed down her dress. Brought it back to her chest, her arms wrapping around themselves again. She exhaled, closing her eyes a moment. "I still have to think about everything. Get over that shock, I believe." She said and sighed. She looked out at the rising morning. The air hummed around them in its morning dew. "Tom," She shook her head and glanced around. "I'm sorry. I should've believed you over her, but... I don't know. I just," She shrugged, and the bottom of her dress turned and shook slightly with the movement. "I just can't always place you, Tom."

"I... It's still my fault. I should've done something else. But Becky," He said, and a curve came to his eyebrows-- A tilt up, sad. A darkness came to his mind at the thought that Becky couldn't tell. Couldn't decide... "Becky, I love you. Not anyone else, ever." He said. "Not Amy. Just you."

They looked at each other, looked away. Silence grew in the rising black to blue air. He just wanted her to believe him. He wanted her to realize just how he would never have kissed Amy back.

"Then I'm sorry I didn't believe you." She said. "But is that all? We could've talked at church tomorrow." She shifted her weight and adjusted her dress. "So why are we out here, Tom?" She asked, and her tone was tired, half-hearted. She had a mixed look in her eyes that he couldn't place no matter how he looked back.

"I," Tom sighed, ran a hand through his hair. He took another few steps towards her until he was by her side, and then he turned, staring towards the sky again. "I just wanted to show you the sunrise."

"I see it every day, Tom." She said. Her words were foggy in thought.

"But never just standing. With me." He said. He had a wanting, a pull, in him. She looked up. There was a discomfort that Tom didn't want.

They watched the sky turn blue and glow in streaks of red and orange and pink filling the sky, eastward and fading out, away. Clouds were grey compared to it all. "Amy took that sunset from us... I wanted something new." Tom said.

He could feel the closeness of her arm to his, of her hand from his.

"The beginning of every day together." He said. He could see her looking at him, and he looked back. A quizzical look was in her shiny eyes.

"Tom... Are you proposing?" She asked, and a rush came to him. A burn. A sudden turning in his stomach. His head and his body pulled away from her.

"No. I--" He glanced away, his eyes widening, panicked. She looked away quickly, a redness coming to her cheeks, too. "Do you want it to be a proposal?" He asked, and his voice was in a whisper-shout, suddenly breathy. He brought his hand up to run through his hair.

"Well, I don't know, Tom! I still got a lot to think on!" She said, her hands coming down fast to her sides, pulling at the bottom edges of her dress.

"Alright, okay!" Their words were suddenly fighting, confused. "Well," Tom started. He didn't know how to pick back up. The air gained a cold silence.
He ran a hand through his hair again. "Well, Becky," He composed himself, putting an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, "if I was proposing," which he had no intention of doing right now, "I would want it to be much more special than something like this. I would want you to know for sure that I love you. It ain't suited to get married right after you think I went and liked another girl. And we gotta get married when you love me too." He looked at her, put his chin on the top of her head softly. His heart beat deep.

"Oh, Tom, of course I love you."

"You do, Becky?" He said, moving his head back and looking at her face again. "...I'll propose to you in a way that matters. I promise. Just a bit more time, and then we'll be married and together. Until death, right? Something as big as is suited for a beautiful girl like you." He smiled, and she smiled back.

"Alright, Tom. For now, though, let's figure things out." She said, her hands coming up to run through his hair. "Take it slow for now." Her face came up to his. Their warm bodies came together as they kissed, and a swirling feeling started, and a risen glow formed in the sun and the reunited whole of their hearts. And they watched the sunrise in the street, in each other's arms, together again.