Tuck Sinn

58

Tom followed Huck through the doorway, outside to the side of the church. The quiet, pleasant voices grew distant along with that warm glow of the candles. It was colder out here, and it was bright against Tom's skin. This side of the church had a bit of a path coming off of it, and Tom wished they would walk through it to the tree-covered area. It was nice back there. But Tom knew that Huck would hardly even want to do this, so Tom breathed sharply and ran a hand through his hair and began.

"Huck," Tom realized he didn't know what to even say. His stomach dropped and Tom felt despair. This was his one chance and he hadn't even thought this far ahead. "I'm going to change for Becky." Tom said. That's not what he wanted to say.

"Is that what you want?" Huck asked. He seemed done.

"Well, are you okay with that?" Tom asked gingerly. "I want us to be close again. Like before."

"Before my trip, or before we started fighting?"

"Huck—"

"I'm not the same boy as before, Tom. And we started fighting because you couldn't figure yourself out. And yeah, I'd reckon I'm fine with it, as long as you're happy."

"What? Huck—"

"'t's simple, Tom. I want you to be happy, so..." Tom couldn't tell if the pained look in Huck's eyes was just a reflection of his own. "Congrats."

"Huck," Tom said his name again. It didn't mean anything without the words around it. The words Tom couldn't bring himself to say. "So," Tom sighed, "you're fine with me marrying Becky?" Tom asked.

Huck closed his eyes a moment. He roughly rubbed his hands together.

"Tom," He had said something wrong, because Huck seemed mad. "it don't matter if I'm fine with it or not. Are you fine with it? That's the whole problem, Tom." Huck took a step close to Tom.

Tom could smell the forest, and could feel Huck's heat. "I want ya to be happy, man. Do what makes you happy. What's the problem?" Huck asked. Tom opened his mouth, closed it. "Marry her. It sounds like you just been working towards that this whole time." Huck said. He laid a hand on Tom's shoulder, and Tom felt the buzzing of his touch, felt the heat spread throughout him.

Huck gently moved past Tom, and the smell of the woods and the heat was gone. Tom turned towards him, and Huck was shaking his head, his hands clasped together. Tom ran a hand through his hair. Huck was right—this was getting more complicated than it should. He was just scared to be happy.

Tom stood a moment longer, seeing Huck merge back into the church crowd. Tom followed after all of them. He saw Becky. He walked, becoming part of the group again. He kept his eyes on her as best he could but kept losing her.

He kept double thinking this. He didn't need to. She was all he had, and all he ever would really have. There was no choice here.

This whole time, it was only Becky. Huck could never be with him—Huck was a mystery. Huck was strange and didn't make sense and made Tom feel such a range of emotions that it wouldn't be right, leaving Becky for him.

Becky gave him the stability that he should settle for. Tom ran up to her through the crowd once he found her again.

"Becky." Tom said. Wind was in his throat. There was no reason to hold any of this back. He had been doing that this whole time. His whole life was ahead of him—better to get started now; he had prayed for a sign and for help, but he didn't need one—the path he was on was the right one all along. Becky turned towards him, smiling. "Can I talk to you?" Tom asked breathily. He was going to marry her.