La Maison 3: Pretty (Complete: mxm)

Chapter 22: Ademi

A/N: it's been a while since I needed to say this, but here's a chapter that's in the Wattpad version of Colors, but not the final version - so I've taken huge liberties (it's actually completely different, though the outcome hasn't changed)

They didn't speak on the way home. Silence between them never used to be awkward, though it was rare. River was more than capable of it, but Mat had always been a talker. A performer. But he wasn't performing now, twisting his hands together, his voice cracking when he passed the cab driver his money.

"Do you want a coffee?" Mat asked as they walked through the apartment door, throwing keys and wallets onto the side table.

"I'll take a water, thanks."

Mat threw a bottle, and grabbed one for himself, cracking the lid and gulping half in one go.

When he approached, it wasn't to sit next to River on the couch, as he'd expected. Instead he pulled over one of the dining chairs and perched uncomfortably on the edge of it.

"Mat..." River began when Mat still didn't say anything, but he found he didn't have the words.

Mat had approached him, after all, and he didn't want his own hopes to get in the way of whatever it was Mat was seemingly finding so necessary to say to him. To behave so strangely, and then to come to the club and ask him to leave...

"Shit, you're not sick, are you?"

River felt tears form at the thought of it, but Mat just laughed – a huge relieved sound, bigger than it deserved.

"Oh, Riv. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at that, but you always make everything easier for me."

"I don't-,"

"I know you don't get it, because I'm not making any sense. But I know even if what I have to say is awful, and ruins everything, it isn't as bad as having to announce I have a terminal illness or something. You always help me put things in perspective. I think that's one of the reasons I- well, anyway, there's a million reasons. That's not even a big one."

"Please Mat. You're making my head hurt."

River felt as though he'd never been so tense. Never mind his head, his jaw hurt from clenching his teeth. He didn't know whether he wanted Mat to say what he was thinking or turn around and claim it had all been a mistake; he'd come for River by accident, and it was nothing, nothing to worry about.

Regardless of Mat's words, that sounded like they were meant to be comforting, with his tone, but were not revealing anything, River couldn't keep hanging on.

"Did you get disowned, or something? Do we have to move out?"

"No, I can't get disowned. It's all in trust. Don't worry, we're safe here, no one's kicking us out."

"Did you get a girlfriend or something?"

Maybe Mat wanted someone else to move in?

"Jeez, no. As if?"

"Well, what the fuck, Mat? Would you just spit it out? You're driving me nuts here."

Mat turned serious, which wasn't helping River's pounding heart, but he moved, coming to sit by River on the couch. His eyes were worried as he took River's hands in his.

"I'm sorry I'm such a dick, Riv."

"What the-,"

"No, please. Let me say it. I know I'm not making this easy for you. But I have to say it now. I've been a total idiot, and you'd be completely within your rights to tell me to fuck off."