Resurfacing

Chapter 2:

"Are you ok?" She asked me while looking back and forth between us. "Do I need to get Jules?"

"No, let's just get back to work." My breathing was hard and deep, but it was nothing in comparison to my pounding head. I slammed the door behind me and locked it tightly. The irrational part of my brain was scared Ezra would burst through the door and come after me.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I slammed my open hand against the door and kicked at it screaming. Rachel was staring at me like I was losing my mind.

"Who was that? He looked pretty intense." She smiled at me with her perfect dimpled cheeks. Rachel always smiled; it was worse when she was uncomfortable like she was right now. Rachel was my polar opposite. She smiled at the world, even under the worst circumstances. She was too nice and full of life.

"Someone I used to know." I tried to steady my breathing. I ran my hands over my hair, trying to smooth it down against my head. I had to regain control of my emotions.

Rachel smiled and headed back into the bar to go check on her tables. I stayed back for a few minutes to collect my thoughts before returning to the floor.

I brushed my hands on my shorts, trying to get some of the tingling in my body to go away. I flipped my tongue ring around between my teeth, trying to release some of my nervous energy. It was a new habit I had developed since Brynn had convinced me I needed to get it done. She took me to a tattoo parlor about six months ago to celebrate the two of us getting an apartment together. She just needed a reason to go and flirt with the guy who owned the shop.

After the accident, Aiden had broken up with Brynn and she went wild. She never really told me what happened between them and I didn't have the energy to pry. I had enough of my own baggage to deal with. She started bringing a different guy home every night to our place, sometimes two, in hopes I would break out of my Ezra depression. I would be stuck sitting on the couch uncomfortably with some random stranger until she finished and went on the prowl for her next victim. A couple of times, she decided to take both guys with her. I tried not to judge her too much. She was a grown girl and could make her own decisions.

If that was what Brynn wanted, who was I to tell her any differently?

The apartment walls were thin, and I spent many nights with earbuds in trying to drown out the sounds that shook them. I missed the silence and welcomed the nights I had to work at the bar.

"Table 3 is calling for their drinks." Jules said, walking into the kitchen. He had a towel slung over his shoulder and was wiping his hands on his apron. "The table is getting a little rowdy. You better get out there."

I grabbed a clean tray and placed it on my arm as I followed Jules back out to the bar. Jules stepped behind the bar and poured the brown liquid from the bottle into four shot glasses.  I picked them up and spread them out to balance them on my tray.

"So much for a quiet night..." I said under my breath as I turned and walked towards my table. The table was hooting and hollering loudly as I walked up to them with their drinks. I turned on the fake, flirty server smile as I got closer to them.

When I got to the table, I placed the shots down, making sure to lean over too far to show a little cleavage. The table was full of college-aged guys and I was working for tips for a living. Sometimes it felt a little like selling myself out when I had to play up the flirty "look at me" role, but I didn't work here because it was fun. I needed money to pay my rent. I couldn't afford to be modest.

"Can I get you anything else?" I smiled and winked. I flipped my tongue ring around inside my mouth, making sure they saw me playing with it. The smiles spread across their faces as they watched me. I pretended I didn't notice what they were smiling about. I was just an innocent little waitress. I was too dumb to know what the big bad college guys were thinking.

"We're good baby." The smarmy blonde said, talking to my breasts instead of my face. I fought the urge to roll my eyes; it was not like he would have seen it anyway.

"If you need anything else, please let me know." I said sweetly before backing away from the table. The smile fell from my face as soon as I started walking back to the bar. The unexpected events of tonight had rattled me to the core and I was fighting the urge to get sick.

When I got back to the bar, Rachel was leaning into Jules and talked to him as he mixed drinks for her table. I placed my tray back on the bar and joined in the conversation. Rachel poked my arm and motioned her head to the table I just came from. I looked back to see the four guys high fiving and gesturing inappropriately at me. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the bar.

Rachel and Jules were laughing at me and I flipped them both off.

"Rachel, you can get the next table that comes in with all college guys." I said seriously.

"But you have so much fun with them. One of these days, one of them will come in and sweep you off your feet." She laughed at me. A small smile crossed my face while I thought about it and I laughed a bit while shaking my head. I highly doubted that. I had been swept before. It was amazing until I was swept under a rug and stomped on repeatedly. I was never going to let anyone have that kind of power over me again.

"What about that hottie you were with outside?" Rachel asked me.

I stared her down with a frown on my face.

"Who was he?  You two looked awfully snuggly until you were screaming at him."  Rachel leaned against the bar, waiting to hear my answer.

"Wait. What?" Jules asked, wanting more details. These two had made fun of me for months about my lack of interest in a relationship. Neither of them knew about my past with Ezra and I wanted to keep it that way. This was the one place I could go to that didn't remind me of him. Now I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to keep him from creeping into my work life.

"He's no one. Drop it." I warned them.

"That's a mood." Jules said, giving up.

"You don't pay me for my personality." I smiled sarcastically back at him.

"Yeah, if I did, you would never get a paycheck." 

I grabbed my tray back up and went back to my section to check in on my tables. This was going to be a long stressful night. My emotions were all over the place knowing Ezra had found me again. He could have come into the bar and I wouldn't have been able to stop him. I was powerless and had lost my control.

The next few hours ticked by slowly. I was still nervous every time the door opened, expecting him to be standing on the other side. I didn't even want to think about the possibility that he was standing outside waiting for me when I got off of work. I smiled and nodded when appropriate and secretly cried in the bathroom every time I got a chance to hide. My anxiety was driving me to the brink of madness. My hand went to my stomach multiple times to hold the emptiness I was feeling inside. 

The college table finally ended up leaving about 10 minutes before close and left me a thirty-dollar tip when they closed out their tab. I blew out my previous tip record by almost a hundred dollars. The tips were good tonight even though I was miserable and just going through the motions. I waved the cash in Rachel's face as I walked out the door after we finished cleaning for the night. She had a frown on her face because she didn't even make half of what I did.

"It's because you're blond and bite-sized." She said to me laughing as we walked towards the parking lot. I turned my key in the lock of my car door, my car was old and the clicker had been dead for months. I waved to her as I climbed in the car.