Resurfacing

Chapter 13:

My car made it back to the apartment. I was relieved it didn't break down on me. The way my luck had been going lately, I half expected to be stranded on the side of the road. When I thought about it, stranded on the side of the road would have been easier than finding out if Ezra was still at the apartment.

Could I even look him or Brynn in the eye after what just happened between Aiden and me?

When I stepped into the tiny apartment, Brynn and Ezra were sitting on the couch watching some cooking show. Brynn was laughing at the lady describing some local cuisine that looked like vomit topped with spray cheese. Ezra chuckled a bit, joining in when Brynn criticized the dish. He took his hand and pushed his hair off his forehead. He looked tired and worn but more beautiful than ever. Fuck, bringing him back here was a bad decision.

Before I could make another noise, he sensed me staring at him from the doorway and looked up. A little of the clouds that had been covering his eyes were starting to dissipate. Some of the flaming ice returned back to them, making him look more alive than I had seen him since he forced his way back into my life. He continued to stare at me like we were the only two people in the room.

"Hey girlie, how was the dress fitting?" Brynn asked when she realized I had just come in the door.  She leaned over Ezra to get a better look at me. She was almost directly on top of him, which made me feel sick inside. She had no reason to be that close to him.

My mind jumped back to the incident at the bridal shop with Aiden. I was being such a hypocrite. Brynn wasn't allowed to lean in near Ezra in a friendly way, but it was totally fine for me to let her ex-boyfriend get off against me in a changing room.

"It was good. The dress was pretty." I said with my voice shaking.  If I continued to talk about it, I would probably let it slip that Aiden was there too.  I couldn't risk upsetting my best friend or the troubled boy who was struggling to hang on to himself.

"It's a bridesmaid's dress. They are all hideous," Brynn said, crinkling her nose.

"Yeah, but this one wasn't too bad."

Ezra stood up and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rose up, exposing the music notes near his waistband. I wanted to move across the room and let my fingertips trace the small black shapes like I used to. He saw me watching him and smiled his devilish half-smile.

"You feel any better?" I asked him, making a poor attempt at small talk.

"A little." He said, biting at his lip ring. He took a step closer to me and my heart started pounding in my chest.  I could feel my breathing change and the familiar flush began to creep over my skin.  His chest was moving up and down with every deep, slow breath he took as he stared into my eyes from across the room.

We stood there awkwardly in silence for an eternity. The ache was too much to bear; the hurt was still too fresh.  I wanted him in the worst way, but this damaged boy had hurt me more than anyone else ever could. It wasn't the kind of pain that could just fall away over time. It was the kind that carved itself into my bones. Every day the wounds would reopen and I would have to try to bandage them up so I could breathe again.

I almost forgot Brynn was there until she cleared her throat.

"I think I'm going to go out for a bit. I'll be back in a few hours." She stood up and walked by me, winking.

What did she think was going to happen if she left?

I almost begged her to stay as she went to go grab her purse off the hook on the wall. I looked at her, pleading for help, but she didn't catch the message.  Our best friend telepathy was off today.