Resurfacing

Chapter 38:

We walked up the stairs slowly, Ezra went into the bathroom and I grabbed some things out of his room. When I got back to the bathroom, Ezra had already turned the water on. He had removed his shirt and I could see the dark bruising along his rib cage. I wanted to place my fingers on his chest to take the pain away. He pushed the door closed behind me and locked it. He moved close to me and brushed his thumb along the bruise on my face.

"Does it hurt?" He asked softly.

"Not too much." I said. I was lying, it hurt quite a bit.

He reached down and pulled my shirt over my head and placed his bare and bruised skin against mine. He breathed in deeply as he ran his fingers over my skin.

"Ezra..."  I paused wanting to ask the question that had bothered me since Jake said it.  "Did you do what Jake said you did to those girls?"

"Riley, I've done a lot of messed up things to girls when I was using.  Most of it involved telling them what they wanted to hear so I could get them to sleep with me.  When I was done, I would say a lot of mean things to get them to hate me. When I would hurt them, Jake was always there to swoop in.  He would give them attention and make them feel wanted.  He would get them to a party and find a way to get them messed up so he and his friends could take advantage of them.  I didn't participate, but I didn't stop it either which makes me just as bad as they are."

"Was Amber one of those girls?"  I asked softly.

"She was. When you went to dance with Mandy tonight, I pulled her off to the side and apologized to her. She didn't do anything to deserve the way I treated her and she needed to know it wasn't her fault. I told her she should find a way to get away from Jake before he hurt her worse than he already did."

"Do you think she will get away from him?" I asked worried about the girl.

"No, I really don't think she will.  I had to try though.  I owed that much to her after the mean things I used to do to her." He said rubbing my shoulders.

"Did you want to do that to me? Did you want to hurt me?" I asked not really sure if I wanted the answer.

"That's what I tried to tell myself when I first saw you.  I tried to convince myself I only wanted you because it would be fun to see what I could do to you.  You were so bright and shiny, I just knew I had to have you.  When I saw you with that guy on the table after our band played, I could have just walked away like I always did. I could have let him have you, I never cared about any of that before. I would have comforted you and whispered sweet words into your ear until you gave yourself to me too. It would have been a lot easier to get you to bed if you already felt bad about yourself."

"I don't know what to say to that." I looked away from him.

"I've tried to tell you how sick my head is and I won't blame you if you don't want to be with me after this. Please know that I couldn't let any of that happen to you. I had to protect you that night, I never wanted anyone else to touch you but me. It has always been different with you."  He stroked my hair and leaned his forehead into mine. 

I ran my hands down his stomach and traced the music note tattoo above his waistband.  I wanted to be with him, I always had even when I couldn't admit it. Even when the relationship was toxic, being with him made me feel whole.  As my fingers moved over him, I could see him starting to harden. 

"Let's get you washed off and cleaned up." I said looking towards the shower. I was thinking other thoughts right now and it wouldn't do us any good to try with Ezra being so injured.

"You're probably right." He looked down at the small space between us. He was thinking the same thing I was. "I might need a day or two to heal up first."

When we got out of the shower, I played nurse and bandaged the cut on his face. It bled a lot, but it didn't look like it would need stitches. He had a black eye and a busted lip. He complained when I told him he should probably take the rings out due to the swelling. He eventually gave in and let me remove them carefully. He cursed at me when my fingers came in contact with his cut skin. When I was finally able to get them out, my mouth dropped open.

"What?" Ezra asked suspicious. He was uncomfortable without them in.

"You are so unbelievably sexy." I leaned in and kissed his mouth softly so I wouldn't hurt him. I smiled against his lips and he pulled back to look at my face.

"Don't make fun of me, I know I look weird without them." He scowled.

"You have no idea what I am thinking." I winked at him.

"Fuck, I'm not sure if I even want to know what goes on in that head of yours." He grumbled as he kissed me back.

"Ummm...Skateboarding gnomes, hula hooping giraffes, and tandem bicycle races with all the Care Bears."  I said laughing.

"You are a strange one Miss Davis."

"I call it quirky."  I crinkled my nose at him.

"You will never know how much I love your kind of crazy." He said laughing as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me to him.

"I love you too." I whispered.

After our too short shower with much less touching than I was accustomed to, we decided to call it a night. Ezra was looking like he was hurting pretty badly and my head was pounding.

I pulled the blankets back from the bed and we climbed in. It had been such a long day and I fell asleep almost instantly the moment my head hit the pillow. Every so often I would wake up when I felt Ezra shift to try to get comfortable, his chest was bothering him. I felt so bad for him.

At some point in the night, I woke up and his side of the bed was empty. I was a little worried until I heard him stumble back in. He crawled in and snuggled in behind me. He was still breathing a little hard but started to relax a little more.

"Are you hurting?" I asked him worried.

"A little, I just took some aspirin.  It will kick in soon." He said yawning. "Go back to sleep beautiful, we have a long drive tomorrow."

I quickly fell under again as soon as he was touching me. I loved the feeling I had when I was wrapped up in his arms. It was comfortable and warm laying next to him.  This was the only place I ever wanted to be.