i wish i were heather || kagehina

Chapter 8

It was a rainy and gloomy day, reminding Hinata a lot of the day Kageyama had given him his sweater. Although this time, Hinata was walking home alone.

He had kept Kageyama's keychain. In fact, Hinata was playing with it at the moment, fidgeting with the rubbery material in his hands as he walked. He had become attached to the sweet gift, and just looking at it made Hinata feel better. Although his mind did always return to Kageyama.

Which was why he was headed to a small shop downtown. Hinata felt obliged to give Kageyama a gift in return for the keychain, and thought that the best place would be his favorite store.

Hinata listened as bell above the door jingled, signaling his presence in the quaint shop. It was small and cozy inside, filled with books and trinkets of all sorts. Hinata wasn't sure exactly what to buy for Kageyama, but he was sure that he'd find something good.

As the orange haired boy browsed around, he came across a small stuffed animal. It was a little black cat holding a little carton of milk between it's paws. Hinata felt his heart explode at how cute the little thing was, and knew immediately that it was made for Kageyama. The cat's face even looked like Kageyama's with a small scowl and angry blue eyes. Hinata excitedly carried the toy to the register, where he paid and had the plushie put into a nice brown bag.

The orange haired teen skipped out of the store, holding the bag tightly in his hands. He was going to make up with Kageyama. After a lot of thought, Hinata knew he had to make things right. He may not have been as amazing as she was, but he could at least try to lift Kageyama's spirits. And maybe, eventually, Hinata would be able to make things right. Make things the way they were before she came along. Return things to normal.

As Hinata continued down the sidewalk, he realized that he had forgotten all about the gloom around him and smiled softly to himself. Maybe his life wasn't so bad. Just getting a gift for Kageyama had made Hinata so happy that he had completely lost track of the sad weather. That was a step in the right direction.

Now he just needed to see Kageyama in person. Maybe even right away.

Hinata pulled out his phone, and quickly called Kageyama. He rang a few times, not receiving any response. Confused, Hinata decided to try texting the younger male.

[4:56 PM]

tangerine: hi kageyama. do u want to hang out?

Hinata continued his slow walk, checking his phone again twenty minutes later. Still no response to his calls nor text.

Maybe Hinata was wrong. Maybe he had already messed up. There was no turning back. It was all ruined. Kageyama hated him.

Suddenly, there was a ping from his phone. Hinata snapped his phone up to his face so quickly that his phone almost flung out of his hand. But it was just a software update reminder.

With a sigh, Hinata continued.

His inner thought had probably been correct all along. He wasn't as good as her, never would be. He hadn't responded to Kageyama's previous texts, and now he was probably mad. Hinata bit his lip.

He tried to distract himself by looking around. His eyes scanned the area for anything. Anything to distract his mind. And then he saw it. Or rather, them.

Hoshi was standing by a table inside of a cafe. In front of him was a girl. But not just any girl.

It was her.

She was there, with Hoshi. But why? Why was she there?

And then it happened.

Something that made Hinata's last hope dissipate. She leaned in with her smug and pretty face, and her and Hoshi's lips collided. And Hoshi didn't pull away.

Hinata felt his jaw drop open, the rain falling into his gaping mouth as he stared at the scene in front of him. And that was when things got worse. Much, much worse.

Hoshi turned, the stupid smile that was spread across his face vanishing in an instant as he locked eyes with Hinata. Hinata felt frozen, frozen as Hoshi rushed out of the cafe and into the rain, his face looking distraught.

"Wait! Hinata!"

But Hinata was done. God, he was so done. And everyone seemed to be done with him as well. "Get away from me! How could you?!"

"I-"

"Was I that bad?"

"Hinata please..."

"And it was with her????" Hinata wiped at his face as he spoke, his tears mixing with the rain that was beginning to come down harder.

"Hinata I'm so-"

"SHUT UP! WE'RE DONE!" Hinata screamed, and he turned and ran.

He wasn't sure where he was running, he just let his feet carry him away. Away and away, and as he ran the rain began to beat down harder and harder until the sound of it smacking the windows of the buildings around him rang throughout Hinata's ears.

He ran and ran until he was in front of a building.

Without much thought, he climbed up the fire escape and onto the roof.

Without much thought, his eyes travelled across the view.

Without much thought, he took a step.

And then another, and another, and another, and...

Hinata looked over the edge at the ground below.

Why was he even doing this?

He knew why he was doing this.

Hinata knew that he would never be enough for Kageyama. Hoshi saw that he wasn't enough and chose someone else, and of course that someone else had to be her. In the end, it was always her. She found a way to take everything from Hinata. Everything.

And Hinata wished nothing more but death.

He didn't know to whom, be it himself or her. Because if she were dead, he had already ruined all of his relationships. But if he was dead... well. Nobody would care, would they?

Hinata took a deep breath, and turned his head up to the sky. It was dark and dreary, but he knew that when the sun was shining, the sky was beautiful.

But never as beautiful as Kageyama's eyes.

With a soft smile playing at his lips, Hinata imagined those beautiful eyes staring at him with nothing but love and adoration, a look that he knew he never would have gotten in real life. A look that only played in his imagination.

Because why would Kageyama ever kiss him?

After all, Hinata wasn't even half as pretty as she was.

Kageyama gave her his sweaters.

And even though they were polyester, Hinata knew. He knew with all his heart.

That he liked her better.

And with a final breath, Hinata moved his feet.

"HINATA!!!"