searching of my amirah seeking of true love

Talks with Svetlana

After knowing about that girl. I just worried so many times. I didn't felt sleepy. But I tried to close my and sleep. After closed my eyes also I was thinking about that girl's situation. I felt sad about the non believers .
Mostly those who were Christian . Because as a Muslim we trust Jesus Christ as a prophet of the god. But they take him as a god and praying. Then I was always had a hope to make them understand and make them people of jannah. I didn't been to a place where no muslims. Then I just imagined how would be the situation there . I felt how hard it would be. Because there would be less boundaries and more sins. Because some of the people don't believe in God and some choosed wrong path . I felt like I even want to tell about Islam to some people those who didn't know about it. By those feelings I was always been closer to God
[9/30, 20:44] Sfs: Just while thinking about them I slept. Then the new day began. I tried to see her last online time . She wasn't came to online when I came. Then I was sent a message to her and wait for The reply .
Me :- where did you take that picture in your profile .
Svetlana :- I didn't captured that photo . I downloaded that photo on website.
Me :- I thought it was you
Svetlana:- no. It's not me. I prefer to wear hijab but their I can't wear it
: Because my family members don't know about my religion.also in our place no one can wear hijab. If police see that .he would say to remove. Because no one can cover the hair.
Me:- really sad to hear
Svetlana:- yep. I don't like to live hear .after I graduate from my University I want to go to anywhere else. I don't prefer to live here.
Me:- what is your grandparents doing. Maybe in your country you must pay so much money? Isn't it
Svetlana:- yeah. My father is the one who is paying for my University
Me:- really.then even still your father take care of you. he is loving you. Isn't it
Svetlana:- no he doesn't love me
Me:- don't think like that
Svetlana:- I don't prefer  to talk about that.Me:- ok , can you say about your countries culture more?
Svetlana:- Here is not that much good culture,the relationship between parents and childrens are so weak.
Also mostly everyone having relationship between opposite sex in very young age.
If I said shortly here lots of sins spread publicly.They seeing modesty as a strange thing.
Me:- mmm, understood. Do you have any muslims friends in your country?
Svetlana:- no , I want to move quickly from this place to a nice place. That's why I am learning my pharmacy course well.
Me:- that's really good.
Step by step we knew both of us very well.
One day she told about her sickness." She told that she was taking medicine for years. Without reason . Doctors still can't identify my sickness . But it's because of my stress maybe. But it can't cure by the medicine. Sometimes I avoid medicine too. No one see me as a happy person. "
I felt sad and tried to talk with her kindly. "DEAR don't worry a lot . just smile always and you will be happy . The happiness is come inside of our heart"
Svetlana:- But I can't be happy that easily. Because I am thinking about everything . about my future
Then I always tried to console her and tried to be so nice to her. Because I thought if she became a friend with me and share her sadness she will be alright.
One day I asked her to see her face. She told that" I don't wear hijab then I can't send my photo like that. And I will edit and send".
After a some minutes she send her photo.🥺
I felt so broken💔☹️. She had a lot of imaan inside her that's why she edited her photo with hijab. But I didn't seen a happy face of her. I saw her sadness in her face🥺.  She was so pretty. But she didn't even tried to saw a fake smile. Then I worried a lot..
I talked with her more kindly. I felt like I want to make her a happy person🥺..
When we chat I was really tried to be so nice to her. I told that " I will make you a happy person and see your smile" time went so fast .: In those times we chat about lots of things . About Islam and personal life and so on. But I always kept try to make her happy.We became good friends .
One day she suddenly asked about lesbians. Then I told the things which I knew and I explained it as a big sin and there was people in past and I  asked from her " why did you ask about that?"  She replied " because here those kind of people there also I know a girl . She is so nice her . Also she didn't been with her mother In her life. Then she is having feelings for girls"
I replied "maybe she didn't be with her mother in her life . That's why see feeling like she is loving other girls. But she thinks it with wrong way"

She replied that " no , it's not like that. She is feeling in sexual way . Allah want to protect from her sins🥺".After knowing about that I was so amazed. Because I didn't know about these types of people in reality. I thought there is neglible amount of people there.
But after we talked about I just searched about that.There was so much people around there.
I felt sad thinking about them