At First Glance//(Harry Styles FanFic)

12. Mistakes

Harry's POV

   I fucked up. Like majorly. There was really no other way to word the catastrophe that took place between Bea and I.

    The whole drive back to my house on Saturday night, I thought about every word that had been spoken between us and every second of the best kiss I'd ever had before.

    I had kissed countless girls. Like well over 20 probably, I was easy like that. But never before had a kiss ever made such an intense response evoke in me before. I didn't want to stop kissing Bea. Didn't want to stop touching her or smelling the light perfume that was just under her ears that I kept getting hints of. Everything about the damn girl enraptured me, and I couldn't make it stop.

    Trying to play it off like it wasn't a big deal had completely backfired, and so had telling her the truth. And that's what it was.

I couldn't imagine leaving school in less than in a year, and her dealing with things on her own. Maybe she was right, and kids would forget about us and be obsessed with something else, but what if they didn't? Destroying her relationship with her sister was also not an option for me, I wouldn't be the cause of that. Knowing what it felt like to lose a sibling, how could I willingly do that to her?

But the biggest reason, and probably the only one that could truly keep me away from her and taking what I wanted; I wasn't good enough for her.

She was a Towney and I was a Downey. And that was something that would never change. Bea could grow up to be anything in this world. An account, a doctor, lawyer, teacher, veterinarian. You name it, she could do it.

    But me? I'd be lucky to work at a mechanic shop. Most people on my side of the tracks sold drugs or their bodies for money. The only way to become something bigger, was to move out of here and start somewhere new, where no one knew you as anything else but your name.

    That took money too though, and that was the kind of money we didn't have. So we dealt with the shitty hand we were dealt and made the best of it, all the while seeing the people who lived less than 10 miles of us make plenty of money a year and then stick their noses up at us, like we were the ground they walked on.

    "Who the hell pissed in your cornflakes this morning?" Zayne asks on our drive to school Monday morning.

    "Huh?"

    "You haven't said a word since I got in the car and you're holding the steering wheel so tight I'm surprised it's still intact."

    "Oh," I loosen my hand from the wheel, realizing just how hard I was actually squeezing it. "I didn't realize."

    "So again I ask, what the hell is your problem?"

    "I kissed Bea Saturday night." I say out loud for the first time. But I trust Zayne, I know he won't say anything to anyone.

    "Come again?" He asks, staring holes in the side of my face while I drive.

    "I kissed her Saturday night at her house, before I left." I say again, even though I know he heard me the first time.

     "For what?"

    "It was her birthday, she'd never been kissed before and was complaining about it." And because I just really wanted to fucking kiss her.

    "Oh, well you noble steed, you. What would she have done if you hadn't stepped in and saved the day?" Zayne asks sarcastically.

    I just roll my eyes in response, knowing he'll just call me on my bullshit if I try to say anything else about why I did it.