At First Glance//(Harry Styles FanFic)

30. Dreaming

Harry's POV

   "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Gemma asks as I walk back in the door from watching Bea run away from me.

    "She's better off." I lean back against the door, feeling like my legs may give out on me.

     "Better off what? Fucking devastated? The things you just said to her were so uncalled for..so untrue!" She yells at me. "You need to go after her and apologize! Her whole family is the reason you're not in jail right now and giving us a fighting chance against this mess."

     "Her dad said if I didn't break up with her, he wouldn't pay for the lawyer fees to help me. He said if I broke up with her, he'd not only pay for the lawyer fees, but he'd provide us with two thousand dollars a month until I graduated." I tell her, having not admitted this to her yet.

    "Wha..when? Why?" She stammers, the look of fury melting off her face and disbelief taking over.

     "The night at the police station when you were being questioned. I asked if there was any way I could repay him for what he did, I'd do it. This was his request."

    "But why? He knows how much Bea cares for you, why would he do that to his own daughter?" Gemma's nearly in tears over this and that makes it even worse. She loved Bea too.

    "He's doing it because he loves her, Gem. They're already dealing with so much shit because of what we did with Shannon, and you know that. Bea was harassed at school because of that for weeks because of what we did. Now she would be harassed for dating a fucking felon and a poor kid from the Downey side of the tracks. He doesn't want her to spend her life being criticized because of me. And he's right."

    Gemma stares at me like she doesn't know me. "You can't mean that, Harry."

    "I do."

    "So if I was to fall in love with some great guy who was a Towney, he should just not even bother with me because of where I come from? Is that what you're saying?" She questions me.

    "That's not all I'm saying, and you know it. But it's different for you, Gem. A man is supposed to provide for his family, or whoever he is caring for. I can't do that, not the way she deserves or that she's used to. And all I've done since I've come into her life is complicate things, even if it wasn't intentional, it still happened. I don't want that for her."

    "She doesn't care about that shit! She just wants you. Jesus, Harry, she looks at you like you're the answer to every question she's ever had in her life, and you're just going to push her away because you're scared?"

    "I'm not scared." I lie, knowing how right she is but not ready to admit it.

    "You're fucking terrified, actually. Thats the only reason you're doing this. You're taking the easy way out instead of fighting for her. And that's so fucking sad, because she would fight every war there ever was if it meant having you in the end." Gemma's word are harsh, and they hurt just like she intends them to.

    I just shrug my shoulders, like I don't care, but really it's because I don't have the words to get past the lump in my throat. The feeling of dread in my chest is spreading, unable to be ignored anymore.