My Fandom Heaven-One-shots, jokes, and rants

A Classroom of Fangirling...for me anyway

I walked into the math classroom where the first ever class would be held. There was a blackboard, lots of math posters everywhere, and fifteen desks arranged in five rows of three. It should have been a place of perfect peace.

But, when I walked in, chaos reigned. It took me a long while to even focus in on who was causing it because there was so much of it. After a minute, I came to the conclusion that everyone was contributing to the mess that was cutting down the precious time I had to teach these kids pre-algebra.

"Mister Odair. Stop eating those sugarcubes; they're bad for your health." A blond boy lounging in the very back row scowled at me, and I could see the grains of sugar down the front of his T-shirt emblazoned with some surfing logo. He stuffed the brown paper bag back in his backpack, and with a clump set his legs on the desk. I was given an unnecessary look at his bleached jean shorts.

I rolled my eyes and moved on. Soon the other offenders were as clear as daylight.

"Al'Thor. Please stop touching saidin, you're going to set something on fire."

"Hyrule. The spider in the corner of the classroom does not need to be sealed away."

"Time! Put Miss Zora down this instant!"

"Heap, stop flying and sit down in your chair!"

"Barton. Everdeen. We do not bring our bows into class and we certainly don't use them."

"Mister al'Dallben! Put that bloody sword away!"

"Stop snapping your fingers, vah'Naboris, you'll either kill someone or cause the power to short out."

"al'Dallben! Away with the sword!"

"Hargreeves and Cauthon, stop gambling."

"al'Dallben! If you don't put that sword away right now, you'll be in detention until you're old and grey!"

I was left with fifteen moody teenagers scowling at me as I took the desk at the front of the room. I hauled a heavy stack of blue math textbooks and with a loud noise set them on top of my desk. A boy in the second row made a loud groan.

Taran al'Dallben was a...handful. His chestnut brown hair stuck up in all directions, because he hadn't bothered to brush it; his jean jacket was quite possibly the most wrinkled thing I'd ever seen. His backpack lay in a heap of spilled books and notepaper on his desk. His left hand was squishing his cheek, causing the freckles to all run together; his thumb was toying with his silver hoop earring, and the back of his hand was covered with doodles in black ink.

"What's that, al'Dallben?" I ask him venomously.

"Nothing, Ms. Underhill," he tells me quickly.

"Well. Then. Each one of you gets a math book. This will be your resource for the next three months. Since most of you are not acquainted with basic middle-school math concepts, we'll try to speed through them quickly to get you guys all caught up. So that means we can't spend precious class time fooling around. I'll keep you overtime if I have to."

This time five more epic groans accompanied Taran's. I gave the groaners each the stinkeye.

"Al'Dallben. Cauthon. Zora. Di Angelo. Hargreeves. Twilight. Is there anything you wish to discuss with the class?"

"No, Ms. Underhill," the six chorused in unison.

"Excellent. I'll hand you all your books, then."

I walk around and plop a hard-cover math tome on everyone's desk. Most just grudgingly open it, but I get a few interesting reactions-Taran trying to shove his backpack off the desk haphazardly (he only just succeeds), Mat and Klaus slipping Crown Royal bags off their desks (full of gambling dice, no doubt), Ruto sticking her nose up in the air and letting out a loud hmmph after receiving her textbook, Midna sheepishly wiping something off her table that looks suspiciously like chocolate (ever since she had arrived, Midna had been astonished by the fancy candies, especially chocolate ones), and Rand stuck his left hand behind his back with a defiant glare, but he couldn't hide the flickering flame.