A/N- This is set after the end of The Shadow Rising. Don't read if you don't want spoilers, or if you're the sort of person who DOES like spoilers, then READ ON, you brave Gaidin.
Mat:hey guys
Mat: so
Mat: it's raining
Perrin has joined the chat
Perrin: Can I have five minutes alone with my wife on the battlefield please
Mat: wife? what did i miss?
Perrin: While you were off dicing in the Waste, I got married, watched too many Trollocs invade Emond's Field, and now everyone in the Two Rivers thinks I'm a lord
Mat: um what
Mat: trollocs?
Perrin: Yes, you'll be pleased to know I was busy
Mat: what about the whitecloaks?
Perrin: Rest assured the folk here rescued your family
Mat: and you did NOTHING?
Perrin: well not as much as they say I did
Mat: i'm sure you did the lions share of it.
Perrin: That's what they said too! But I didn't do that much.
Nynaeve has joined the chat
Nynaeve: Well Rand's safe now
Mat: when has he ever been safe?
Nynaeve: From one artifact anyway. Don't give me that lip Matrim Cauthon, not after what I went through to get it! You may think you've had it hard in the desert-
Mat: burn me nynaeve i was hung!
Nynaeve: That's a little overdramatic isn't it?
Mat: it's exactly true!
Perrin: I thought it was me the Whitecloaks wanted to hang. What have you done to annoy them?
Mat: it wasnt the whitecloaks it was the bloody mirror people! disrespectful fools wont answer three simple questions
Nynaeve: Either you had a bad dream or you've been drinking WAY too much Aiel liquor
Egwene has joined the chat.
Egwene: He was hung in Rhuidean I think, but he has been drinking a little too much
Mat: hey! you didnt see rand stagger into bed last week? he drank way more than me!
Nynaeve:Both of you! Oh if I was still Wisdom I'd straighten you two out so fast-
Egwene: Nynaeve. You're not Wisdom anymore.
Perrin: Daise is.
Nynaeve: Oh that WOMAN she won't do it properly-
Mat: cool it nynaeve perrin's made sure the two rivers wont explode yet
Perrin: It wasn't really me...
Nynaeve: Cut the modesty! If you didn't do anything, then what have you been doing there?
Mat: Apparently he married someone
Nynaeve: I hardly think that'll stop the Whitecloaks
Mat: and im to presume youve not been picking daisies in tanchico?
Nynaeve: I'll have you know, Matrim Cauthon, that I just escaped a duel with one of the Forsaken.
Egwene: Oh my gosh are you okay?!?!?!
YOU ARE READING
My Fandom Heaven-One-shots, jokes, and rants
RandomThis is simply a collection of my one-shots, headcanons, with fandom jokes and memes thrown all together into something that's hopefully not dubious and pixelated!! All fan girls, boys and enbies welcome! I obviously own nothing.
