Not My Congressman (ManxMan)

Chapter 21

Trigger Warning: References to physically/sexually/verbally abusive and toxic relationships.

Wyatt drove down the Interstate highway, periodically glancing between the obsidian ribbon of highway and the beautiful boy in his passenger seat. If he thought the drive down to Georgia had been sufficiently awkward, the drive back up to Washington, DC thus so far been absolutely excruciating.

In his heart Wyatt hoped that him being single would allow him to be with Finn; but then he rejected him without so much as an explanation why. Was he not enough for Finn, was he not attractive enough for Finn; had Finn never forgiven him for the teasing and taunting when they were kids? These questions and more circled through his mind in a torturous tornado in his mind; tormenting him as he tried as hard as he could to focus on the road and not the beautiful boy sitting just next to him.

"Grayson McCallister." Finn's meek voice barely sounded over the radio, suddenly jolting Wyatt out of his thoughts as he glanced over towards Finn and shot him the strangest look. He raised his hand up to the dial and turned the country music down.

"Who now?" Wyatt asked, staring confusedly back out the windshield; losing himself at the passing yellow dashed line in the center of the seemingly freshly cemented road.

"I lost my virginity at a party to this football player named Grayson McCallister." Finn cleared his throat, shuffling slightly in his seat as though getting ready to tell an extremely long story.

"Okay...?" Wyatt shot him the side eye, not sure why he was adding insult to injury by telling about this jock who took his virginity.

"I was fourteen, and he was seventeen." Finn said grimacing for a split second. "Which was normal at the time, freshmen and seniors but now that I think about it is kind of fucking weird..." Wyatt glanced over at him quizzically, wondering exactly where this was going.

"After we had sex he ignored me, the next monday he acted like I didn't exist." Finn's voiced cracked as his eyes remained distance, as though rehashing a part of his past he had deeply buried within the darkness of his psyche. He stayed silent for painfully long time, leaving only the slight hum of Wyatt's truck rolling down the highway to break the excruciating silence.

"Then he messaged me on Snapchat of all things." Finn let out a slight chuckle. "He asked to meet up after school behind the school and like the dumb innocent freshman I was, I went... He told me that we should date, but keep it secret because his dad was a minister at the big Southern Baptist church in our suburb... going far enough to say that if I told anyone he'd murder me and make it look like suicide."

"That... Sounds toxic..." Wyatt stated the obvious, earning him a humorless chuckle from the raven-haired boy.

"Trust me sweetheart, you haven't even heard the half of it." Finn shook his head. "I was so young, so innocent, so stupid. Boyfriend. That was the only word I heard; I ignored all the red flags, all the toxicity, the threats... I wanted a boyfriend, and he was offering it; so with whatever sad little lonely gay teenager thought process that was going through my head, I agreed to it."

"Good god..." Wyatt ran his hand through his blond hair, feeling an inexplicable feeling of dread in the pits of his stomach.

"The sex was... Well I don't even think it was sex... The first time we had sex I was drunk out of my fucking mind. I didn't even realize that really it wasn't sex..." Tears of memories long buried began to pool in Finn's eyes as he relieved memories he thought he'd go a lifetime without drudging up. "It was violent, rough, and painful. When I'd try and resist he'd only force himself on my. But again, I was just an innocent, stupid little fourteen year old. I looked up gay porn and it was just like that; spanking, shoving fingers in mouths, rough pounding. There was no love, no emotion... That's what Grayson was like with me, every time... That's what he convinced me sex was; pain, violence, hate. And worst of all he'd call me a whore, a slut, a faggot, a cocksucker. He convinced me that was dirty talk; degradation...hate..."