Blank Canvas

Chapter Five: October 27th, 2020

Rolling green hills were blanketed with fiery red and vivid yellow leaves. There were rustling trees scattered across the empty fields. Once in a while, we would fall upon brownish-reddish barns that were either falling apart with no animals or stable barns with groups of cows huddled together for warmth. Brown horses were isolated from one another, searching under the fallen leaves for grass to satisfy their hunger as their tails swayed back and forth.

This was unusual to me compared to the city that we just left. In the city, there were no open fields due to buildings occupying the space. Liam explained that we were from a small town in Iowa and we were only an hour away from where we came from; Iowa City. After meeting Liam yesterday, we decided to book a hotel because Liam felt more comfortable driving back home during the day time.

     Before we left Iowa City, Liam took me shopping for a few outfits and we also cut my thin, brown hair to shoulder-length. Along with that, the hairdresser gave me a bunch of products to use on my hair to prevent it from falling it out more by giving it more 'nutrients'. It was the same word that the hospital used when they told me I have been lacking 'nutrients' for a long time. I had no idea what 'nutrients' were, but I guess they were very important; I was just too embarrassed to ask anyone what it meant.

Comfortable silence filled the cabin of the car as hot air was blowing onto my bare face and arms from the air vents on the dashboard. I laid back against the beige passenger seat and closed my eyes. A warm hand grasped my small hand, startling me as my eyes flew open.

"I'm sorry, Clary. I didn't mean to scare you." I gave him a small close-lip smile as I squeezed his hand, accepting his apology.

I thought for a moment before speaking up, "are my parents alive?" He nodded before I continued, "what about your family?"

He started to bite his lip for a moment before clearing his throat. "My mother passed away five years ago to cancer."

A gasp escaped my mouth. "I am so sorry to hear that." I had no idea what cancer was, but it sounded terrifying. I felt terrible that not only did he lose his brother, but he lost his mother five years later.

He shook his head. "It's alright. Your mom practically adopted me as her own. Even before my mother passed away, your mother was like a second mother to me. I am just scared of finding Lucas alive and having to tell him about her death. He was fifteen when he was taken from us and I know it will break his heart, knowing he wasn't there for her."

My heart dropped into my stomach and I immediately felt as if I was going to vomit. I attempted to keep it down as I tried to focus on other things, knowing that it is a possibility that Lucas may be the person who was laying on the mattress. What if it wasn't him? What if the flashback wasn't real? I did not want to let Liam know there was a chance of his brother being alive if I did not know for sure.

He squeezed my hand and I glanced over in his direction. "Anyway, your mother's name is Zoe and your father's name is Dominic. Your parents went through many miscarriages before they had you. You were their miracle baby." He paused before he continued, "you had no siblings, but you always said that Lucas and I made up for it." He smiled as if he was thinking of past memories; memories that did not reside in my mind.

As I sat there, thinking about what he said, I immediately felt sick again. I was their miracle baby and I was taken from them. They had to live with the fact that their only child may be dead for the past ten years. "You think they will be excited to see m-me?" My voice cracked at the end of my question. What if they do not want to see me after these years? What if they do not want me because they were afraid I would be taken again?