Quarantine In Prague

Chapter 14: The Mistake

Whirlwind of thoughts exploded in Adrien's mind. He was kissing Marinette. His friend. Wasn't that what he wanted all this time?

The faces of all previous girls in his life flashed in front of his eyes to haunt him.
Chloe,
   Lila,
     Kagami,
          ... Ladybug.

He leaned away from the kiss abruptly. Marinette, surprised, tried to kiss him again.
"No." he whispered, looking away with guilt written all over his face. "No..."
Marinette paled. "I am sorry..." she said weakly.
Adrien pushed her hand away and turned around, rushing into the bathroom, leaving her lost, confused and alone behind.

He shut the door behind him, breathing rapidly. He grabbed his temples, heart beating faster and faster.
Plagg zipped through the room.
"Adrien! What are you doing? What are you doing?!" he whispered urgently.
Adrien shook his head wildly. "I need air... I need air!"
"Adrien..."
Adrien opened the window. It was not enough. He felt suffocated. Imprisoned.
"Plagg, Transforme-moi."
Plagg had no choice. Adrien turned into Chat Noir and jumped through the bathroom window.

Cold, freezing cold.

Not even his leather suit kept him warm. But he didn't care. All he wanted to do was to run, to escape him own mind. His confused, hurt and lost mind...

He lept from roof to roof, distancing himself from the hotel as much as possible. The rain was drumming so heavily he almost went deaf.

He wanted to get as high up as he could. Only moving did he felt some kind of control. Escape from everything.
Freedom.
How I missed this...

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Marinette was shaking. She slowly approached the bathroom door, fear squeezing her soul. She reached for the handle but stopped midway.

"I am sorry." was the only thing she managed to get out.

No response.

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Chat Noir climbed all the way up one of the most beautiful buildings he had ever seen: The Prague's Castle. The dominant undisputed crown of Prague, overlooking the land.
He sat like he always does on the highest spire.

The wind was howling like a wild beast, but Chat Noir did not move an inch.

He looked down.

The city was beautiful despite the blinding storm, maybe even more so because of it. The light in the dark, the lightings...

Adrien was shaking but not only because of the heartstopping cold...

Only with the rain on his face did Adrien, after all these years of pain and bottled up misery, allowed himself to cry.

He cried because of his Father, who never saw him as more than a shining prop, giving Adrien as much love as one gives a tool. The one supposed to support him most, colder than the void itself.

He cried because of Chloe and all those who cared about him only because of his money and position. They never saw more in me. Just a useful idiot to help them on their way. They never cared for me, the real me.

He cried because of Lila, who saw in him a path to look better herself, lying and cheating her way to date the pretty boy, caring only for his face and nothing else.

He cried because of Kagami, the memory still fresh and burning. His first real girlfriend. Yet even her... She couldn't accept him. His real self. She had no patience for his lightheartedness, his jokes, his friends. What started as mutual respect ended as such. There was no love or warmth there.