【Short Story】《TINAT》#3.2

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{3} Homo

Father said Pii-chan couldn't come with us to Tokyo. I thought maybe if I let him free, he would follow us. So, I planned to let him go right before we left and thought maybe he would follow the truck. But three mornings before we were supposed to leave, I woke up and saw Pii-chan and his cage were gone. When I asked Father where Pii-chan was, he just said again, "The bird can't come." I wanted to cry. Instead, I drew pictures of Pii-chan. My eyes were wet, but I didn't let the tears fall.

 My eyes were wet, but I didn't let the tears fall

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Once we got to Tokyo, I discovered some things. Mama always knew what to do. But Father didn't know things. I had to tell him. I had to tell him that I needed to take an exam for middle school. I had to tell him that he needed to pay the uniform fee. I had to tell him that I needed money for groceries. Because Mama was gone, I cooked and cleaned. When I did laundry for the first time, I ruined one of Father's shirts. He lifted his hand and I flinched, knowing he was going to hit me. But he didn't. Instead, he called me stupid and told me I was useless. But I was very glad because I thought it was better than being hit.

When Father saw me in my school uniform, he laughed. I smiled, thinking he was happy. Then he told me I looked ridiculous. Honestly, I thought so too. The uniform was too big. I was already too small and it made me look smaller. The jacket fit the most awkwardly. So, even though it was cold at the beginning of April when school started, I didn't wear it after the entrance ceremony. I felt shivering was better than looking silly.

Since I didn't have Pii-chan, I decided I would meet the local birds. So, after buying groceries with the money Father gave me, I would always stop by the park, take out the bread I bought, and feed the birds. And I would talk to them like I used to talk to Pii-chan. When I started school, I had more to tell them.

Like about Sumitomo-kun. Sumitomo-kun was a little like Tomo-kun from elementary school. Not just their names were similar, but Sumitomo-kun was handsome and in the soccer club and really good at sports. But the thing that stood out most about Sumitomo-kun was his maturity. He was tall and had muscles. When we changed for PE, I looked at his broad shoulders and down at my scrawny arms, then I shoved on my shirt quickly to hide them.

One day, we were playing soccer. I stood on the field and watched everyone else kick the ball around. One boy passed it to another and the second one's foot missed. The ball rolled to me and stopped when it bounced against my foot. I stared at it as a couple of voices shouted, "Kick it!" But... I couldn't. Everyone's eyes were on me. Although I couldn't see them, I felt them and they were heavy. They wanted me to kick it, but what if I missed? I couldn't do it.

So, I crouched down and hid my face in my arms and knees. I could hear someone run to where I was and kick the ball away. When I looked up, Sumitomo had made a goal and everyone was cheering. I stayed crouched and looked down at the pale dirt of the field.

When I saw the shadow of someone coming closer, I didn't look up. I was sure they would yell at me and I was scared. But when the person got closer and knelt down, I realized it was Sumitomo-kun. I was shocked and stared at him. He had never been this close.

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